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Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

dontasktoask.com

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Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#201

Post by codazoda »

robbrown451 wrote: post #146

I often will say "you there?" or "you busy?" This means I don't have a single question, it means I want to have a synchronous conversation. There are lots of reasons for the latter. This is what I would prefer people do with me as well, and if I am busy, I feel like I can ignore the message until I have a few minutes to talk (often with voice/phone) I say this as someone working from home, thousands of miles from mos…

You should always try to give context. Examples...

Are you available to answer some questions about Docker?

Would you have time to help me with this nginx config?

Do you have time for our 1-on-1?

I try not to say "have a minute" because conversations rarely last a minute or two if we're going to do it voice.

As a manager, I try really hard never to say, "Can we talk?" without context.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#202

Post by 8ytecoder »

robbrown451 wrote: post #146

I often will say "you there?" or "you busy?" This means I don't have a single question, it means I want to have a synchronous conversation. There are lots of reasons for the latter. This is what I would prefer people do with me as well, and if I am busy, I feel like I can ignore the message until I have a few minutes to talk (often with voice/phone) I say this as someone working from home, thousands of miles from mos…

You can still add some context on what you want to talk about. “Hey, do you have a minute. I want to pick your brain on xyz”. The recipient can then say, “Hey, I’m focused on abc right now and I can ping you in 15” or engage in the conversation. It gives the option. A simple Hey is like acosting someone on their way to a meeting to talk about your problem. They have no option but to engage. Personally, I’ve gotten used to being firm on these things and just don’t respond to these messages. They usually send an email or setup a meeting or ask me the question in a meeting we’re both in. Clearly it’s not urgent enough for me to drop everything and respond.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#203

Post by dylan604 »

kevinherron wrote: post #126

This was a problem long before we all got sent home and the proliferation Slack. Instead, someone would just pop their head into your office: “Hey, hi, how ya doing? Can I ask you question?” Bro, you just did. Get on with it.

No, you can always just not even look up and say, "I'm super into this, so come back in 15" or something less condescending than whatever attitude your body expression has with "Bro, you just did. Get on with it" floating in your mind.

Don't bro me dude! ;-)

If we're all devs, we all understand when you've got 12 layers of vars in your head in a mental traceback that all goes poof when you just reply with a "not now". If it's a marketing type person making the interruption, you're just perceived as an asshole. That's on them. They're in marketing so they have no soul anyways ;-)

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#204

Post by Szpadel »

robbrown451 wrote: post #146

I often will say "you there?" or "you busy?" This means I don't have a single question, it means I want to have a synchronous conversation. There are lots of reasons for the latter. This is what I would prefer people do with me as well, and if I am busy, I feel like I can ignore the message until I have a few minutes to talk (often with voice/phone) I say this as someone working from home, thousands of miles from mos…

you can still say "hey, I need your help with xxx, do you have time now?" then at least other side know that to expect, can estimate how much time its needed to reserve for this synchronous communication and might later just replay with something like "sorry, I don't have time for this right now, but you can reach Yyy, he is also familiar with this topic"

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#205

Post by cottager2 »

aix1 wrote: post #129
locusofself wrote: post #115

As much as I think this should just be common sense, when I see this URL in someone's status message/bio on a work messaging platform, it strikes me as condescending and unprofessional.

What are your thoughts on individuals publishing READMEs on how best to interact with them? Similar sort of thing or sufficiently different?

I’ve only seen that once and I thought it was insane. That person was fired less than a year later, so to me, it’s an extremely negative signal.

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#208

Post by vmception »

locusofself wrote: post #115

As much as I think this should just be common sense, when I see this URL in someone's status message/bio on a work messaging platform, it strikes me as condescending and unprofessional.

This would work great as a bot in your chat server that autoreplies to these single word greetings

"In our work environment, synchronous communication is important! If you were intending to set up synchronous communication, please mention why, along with your greeting!"

Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)

#210

Post by jeffbee »

dfboyd wrote: post #166

46 points by dfboyd on Jan 23, 2021 | parent | context | prev | next [–] | on: Please don't say just hello in chat (2013) I am the original author of the document this document was based on. It was an internal Wiki page at Google written when I was an SRE. After I wrote the original page, someone put up an internal shortlink at "go/nohello". After I left Google, someone took the Wiki page content and [illegally, sinc…

When I was at Google I just disabled chat. Not worth it at all. SRE comms for people who are actually on-call happen on IRC anyway.
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