This is actually also relevant for customer support
Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
81–90 of 391 posts
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#82Very short message, but concise. I think it very much relates to the sentiment of Nardwuar's TEDx talk: [0]. He's an interviewer. He's interviewed practically everyone alive with music, from Nicky Minaj to Kurt Cobain and back! almost every genre ! And you know what the message is from his talk ? Just ask. You wanna do an interview with X person ? Just ask, do it! He doesn't wait for anyone to push him, he wants to d…
Interviewing Cobain after 2000 would be even more impressive!
yeah, lol I just realized he is dead. Nice joke. But he was kind of an ass in that interview so yeah.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#83A response I often get is how "refreshing" it is to speak with someone who doesn't spew out fluff and gets to the point. And these are people who themselves ping-pong for 10 minutes before getting to the meat of a conversation.
This is a good example that what people do isn't necessarily what they appreciate or like. It's just a norm. Whether it's positive or not is quite a different aspect.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#84This feels like one of those internet rules that stems from a neurodiverse IRC-type crowd Neurotypical people use this sort of social foreplay as a way to handshake a conversation[1], where the tech types want an input/output process devoid of mood and feeling It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions. I figure if they need to adapt to some of my q…
Neurodiverse? Neurotypical? What genre of classification is this?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity
Anecdotally, I started encountering this terminology about 5 years ago I think. The linked wikipedia says it was coined in 1999.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#85I feel like the author is not highly aware of social norms, nor how they change depending on context, culture, and confidence. Many inexperienced users- the kind who often need help the most- are coming from a place of low confidence. They don't even know if this is the right place to ask this question. They don't even know if they're asking the right question. That's the nature of being inexperienced. I'm glad they'…
> If you don't want to help such people, don't lurk in channels designed for helping people.
and where do i go to not get these questions from senior engineers?
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#86This feels like one of those internet rules that stems from a neurodiverse IRC-type crowd Neurotypical people use this sort of social foreplay as a way to handshake a conversation[1], where the tech types want an input/output process devoid of mood and feeling It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions. I figure if they need to adapt to some of my q…
> It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions... No necessarily. Asking "Any Java experts around?" takes little effort, while formulating a question for a Java expert could take significant effort. A "no" response for the first question could save everyone from wasting their time with the second.
> A "no" response for the first question could save everyone from wasting their time with the second.
That “no” is never going to happen though. Every individual might know that they aren’t a Java expert, but they don’t know that every other individual is also not an expert. So there is nobody in a position to answer “no”.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#87This feels like one of those internet rules that stems from a neurodiverse IRC-type crowd Neurotypical people use this sort of social foreplay as a way to handshake a conversation[1], where the tech types want an input/output process devoid of mood and feeling It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions. I figure if they need to adapt to some of my q…
For me it's not because I want an input/output type conversation, it's because I want to maintain asynchronous conversation. If I reply "I'm fine thanks how are you" then you know I'm here and looking, you've forced me to into a synchronous conversation and now I will appear rude if I don't immediately answer your "I just have a quick question" If you just post your question upfront, I can read it and prioritize it m…
> For me it's not because I want an input/output type conversation, it's because I want to maintain asynchronous conversation.
In the context of an IRC chat room, isn’t all conversation assumed to be synchronous? (Forgive me if this has an obvious answer, as I’m not too familiar with IRC culture.)
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#88X: "Can I ask you a question?"
Y: "You just did."
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#89Earlier quoted context omitted.
> It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions... No necessarily. Asking "Any Java experts around?" takes little effort, while formulating a question for a Java expert could take significant effort. A "no" response for the first question could save everyone from wasting their time with the second.
> A "no" response for the first question could save everyone from wasting their time with the second. That “no” is never going to happen though. Every individual might know that they aren’t a Java expert, but they don’t know that every other individual is also not an expert. So there is nobody in a position to answer “no”.
> That “no” is never going to happen though. Every individual might know that they aren’t a Java expert, but they don’t know that every other individual is also not an expert. So there is nobody in a position to answer “no”.
A lack of response is equivalent to a "no." I suppose I could have phrased it more clearly, but my though is the asker would wait for an affirmative response to proceed with investing more into asking the question.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#90I had an overly polite couch surfer from South Africa who couldn't find my place in the Tenderloin of San Francisco. He really struggled because he kept asking people "pardon me, may I ask you a question?", which is what nearly every panhandler asks before they ask you for money. I told him that he should learnt to be direct (at least in America) and simply ask for directions.