Discussion from 2 years ago: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24259156
Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
71–80 of 391 posts
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#72This feels like one of those internet rules that stems from a neurodiverse IRC-type crowd Neurotypical people use this sort of social foreplay as a way to handshake a conversation[1], where the tech types want an input/output process devoid of mood and feeling It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions. I figure if they need to adapt to some of my q…
Why would a neurodiverse person want a conversation devoid of mood and feeling? Maybe their feelings just work differently and you can't understand them.
Polling people with non-informative questions is a good way to distract them for no reason if they can't help you. I think that's impolite. As someone with ADHD, that can be disruptive and at times gets extremely frustrating because I can easily lose half an hour to a 1 minute distraction if it demands my attention. Give me some initial information to work with and I will be able to respond without losing my focus.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#73I'll blame stackoverflow. It's lead us to believe that anything but a precise, specific questions with clear use cases and previous attempt is going to get scolded for not meeting the guidelines. It takes time to formulate a good tech question. "Why isn't my API getting called" is a easy question to ask but not likely to get much feedback. "Why isn't my API getting called I'm using library and callback and routing fr…
Formulating a question that doesn't waste your time requires me to shift perspective to figure out what information you need. As a result, half the time formulating the question leads me to discovering the answer. I'd consider that time well spent regardless of the answers I get.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#74This feels like one of those internet rules that stems from a neurodiverse IRC-type crowd Neurotypical people use this sort of social foreplay as a way to handshake a conversation[1], where the tech types want an input/output process devoid of mood and feeling It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions. I figure if they need to adapt to some of my q…
Neurodiverse? Neurotypical?
What genre of classification is this?
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#75True words for 1:n communication. For 1:1 communication it's a different thing though. I really prefer people to warn me before dropping a bomb
>I really prefer people to warn me before dropping a bomb Why? These "hi" or "are you there" or "can I ask a question" are useless to me. Also in the reverse role I find it useful to just type up my whole problem. Sometimes in the middle of typing it all up I will figure out a good solution and then just not send the message. Even if the person is not there to help you, you can always copy paste your message to someo…
It depends, I mean in times of remote work it's good when the routine doesn't degrade to a purely mechanical exchange. Also it can be actually useful if people chit-chat about what they are doing which can lead to discussions and save time by cutting useless work. It's not ideal when people repeatedly ask me about a certain class of problems - terse or not - it's a disruption to my work.
(With dropping a bomb I also mean something like a larger/tedious amount of work)
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#76Did the author really pay for a domain per topic? Seems to be numerous others that are .com
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#77They registered an entire domain for that?
It sounds like a fairly typical StackOverflow Meta posting. I read stuff like this constantly. There's a lot of SO folks that won't answer any question, unless it has already been solved, by the asker, in their question, so they can criticize it. The place is a lot less useful, for me, these days, than it used to be. I ask excellent questions, and I don't need to have someone call me "lazy," because I didn't throw the seed into the nest.
It's not wrong, but it's also not gonna change anything. Askers gonna ask.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#78I feel like the author is not highly aware of social norms, nor how they change depending on context, culture, and confidence. Many inexperienced users- the kind who often need help the most- are coming from a place of low confidence. They don't even know if this is the right place to ask this question. They don't even know if they're asking the right question. That's the nature of being inexperienced. I'm glad they'…
Re inexperienced users : you want to encourage them to learn and build confidence. Ignoring their "polite" ping-pong messaging isn't going to do them any good. Sure, don't be a jerk, but do mention "don't ask to ask - just ask" in a friendly way.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#79This feels like one of those internet rules that stems from a neurodiverse IRC-type crowd Neurotypical people use this sort of social foreplay as a way to handshake a conversation[1], where the tech types want an input/output process devoid of mood and feeling It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions. I figure if they need to adapt to some of my q…
Why would a neurodiverse person want a conversation devoid of mood and feeling? Maybe their feelings just work differently and you can't understand them. Polling people with non-informative questions is a good way to distract them for no reason if they can't help you. I think that's impolite. As someone with ADHD, that can be disruptive and at times gets extremely frustrating because I can easily lose half an hour to…
It’s good to remember that many of the people on here are not normal.
I had spent several weeks on an extremely technical problem when I realized Mother’s Day was coming up. Saw a giant oversized Winnie the Pooh bear that I knew she would like.
So in my extreme logical state I was thinking I would just slice off the arms legs and heads put them in separate boxes and mail them to her for reassembly. Very elegant solution.
A bit later when my mind wasn’t so analytical I realized my mistake. Clearly her house didn’t have room for a giant bear. So I sent her a Winnie the Pooh lamp instead. She was happy, and I didn’t need to disassemble her beloved childhood icon.
Re: Don't ask to ask, just ask (2019)
#80This feels like one of those internet rules that stems from a neurodiverse IRC-type crowd Neurotypical people use this sort of social foreplay as a way to handshake a conversation[1], where the tech types want an input/output process devoid of mood and feeling It is silly and quite time wasting online too, but it's what they need to feel comfortable asking you questions. I figure if they need to adapt to some of my q…
It's quite an assumption that people who dislike this kind of meaningless introductions are neuroatypical. I for one would more likely "ask to ask" in an offline situation, but wouldn't do it when sending a text message, because only the former makes any sense.