Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The Lie That Made Me

torontolife.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 107 posts

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#31

Post by stickfigure »

madrox wrote: post #27

This is so incredibly sad. At this point in my life, I empathize with the involuntary donor quite a bit. While the author might not understand his position not wanting her to have any contact with him or his family, I certainly do. It's clear this doctor has a pattern of deceptive behavior beyond merely his practice. It's also clear that if one doctor does it, someone else has or will. I wonder how the medical board…

Can you explain that in more detail? Because I don't understand it at all.

If somehow it turned out I have other children, I'd love to know how they're doing and if they're similar to me or my kid. A personal data point on the nature vs nurture debate!

I can understand not wanting additional financial responsibilities - but that can't be the worry here, the author is in her 30s.

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#32

Post by JadeNB »

anonporridge wrote: post #17
gowld wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It could be that modern birth control has reduced the rate of extra-pair paternity, as sexual impulses have (partially) decoupled from procreation.

From the above article... > Scientists were so unwilling to believe that human women were different from songbirds that some suggested the discrepancy between expected and actual rates of cuckoldry was a recent development caused by birth control. It would be quite interesting to do a study on modern social groups where birth control isn't yet ubiquitous. It could be fairly easy to do this kind of study covertly and…

> It could be fairly easy to do this kind of study covertly and anonymize the source so as to not risk throwing it into disarray if the results come back with high rates of cuckoldery.

Are you sure? A covert study seems likely unethical, and attempts at anonymization tend to show it's much harder than people think.

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#33

Post by barry-cotter »

brimble wrote: post #25
drewcoo wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Considering nobody ever considers it, 1-2% is huge! 1 in every 50-100 families. How many people from different families do you know? Even if your family isn't one of affected, I'd bet you know several people from affected families.

Further, if those rates are similar across time and roughly evenly distributed among populations, it means that carefully-researched family tree your aunt (or whoever) has spent so much time working on gets unreliable (as far as biological parentage) fast , the more generations you go back. "Look, I'm distantly related to [famous person]!" Well... maybe.

> Further, if those rates are similar across time and roughly evenly distributed among populations

They’re not. Rates of extra paternity events vary a lot by social class[1]. I'd be shocked if that wasn’t true for different ethnic groups.

[1] A Historical-Genetic Reconstruction of Human Extra-Pair Paternity

Highlights

• Combining genetic and genealogical data illuminates our ancestors’ sexual behavior

• Gene-genealogy mismatches imply extra-pair paternity (EPP)

• Historical EPP rates were low overall (∼1%) but varied depending on social context

• EPP rates were highest (∼6%) among urban families with low socioeconomic status

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S096098221...

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#34

Post by JadeNB »

cinntaile wrote: post #6
reactspa wrote: post #2

Quoted post unavailable.

I think you still get to choose character traits or other genetic factors even though the donor is anonymous? If someone swaps out your choice this affects the outcome that you hoped for.

> I think you still get to choose character traits or other genetic factors even though the donor is anonymous?

I suspect that there's no persuasive evidence that character traits are determined by genetic factors in ways that we can control or reliably predict.

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#36

Post by darkerside »

stickfigure wrote: post #31
madrox wrote: post #27

This is so incredibly sad. At this point in my life, I empathize with the involuntary donor quite a bit. While the author might not understand his position not wanting her to have any contact with him or his family, I certainly do. It's clear this doctor has a pattern of deceptive behavior beyond merely his practice. It's also clear that if one doctor does it, someone else has or will. I wonder how the medical board…

Can you explain that in more detail? Because I don't understand it at all. If somehow it turned out I have other children, I'd love to know how they're doing and if they're similar to me or my kid. A personal data point on the nature vs nurture debate! I can understand not wanting additional financial responsibilities - but that can't be the worry here, the author is in her 30s.

Some people don't want to accept that the story of their life is not what they think it is

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#37

Post by MarkusWandel »

I'm not even remotely in the author's situation, but who hasn't sometimes resented some aspect of how they came to be? To which my own response is always "but that's what produced me! If anything had gone differently in even the minutest way (like which of those wiggly things wins the race) I wouldn't be here! Someone else would be. Case closed.

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#38

Post by akavi »

drewcoo wrote: post #21
kryptiskt wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There was a study that showed that cuckoldry was pretty rare, the rate was around 1-2%[0]: "Reading the internet, or even perusing the scientific literature, you'd get the idea that people are constantly cheating on their spouses. Indeed, scientists have estimated that anywhere from 10-30 percent of men are unknowingly raising children who are not their own. This situation is referred to as cuckoldry, or scientifical…

Considering nobody ever considers it, 1-2% is huge! 1 in every 50-100 families. How many people from different families do you know? Even if your family isn't one of affected, I'd bet you know several people from affected families.

I would strongly expect it to be clustered in specific populations. I'd be very surprised if the rate among HN readers was equal to the rate among the general population.

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#39

Post by akavi »

JadeNB wrote: post #34
cinntaile wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you still get to choose character traits or other genetic factors even though the donor is anonymous? If someone swaps out your choice this affects the outcome that you hoped for.

> I think you still get to choose character traits or other genetic factors even though the donor is anonymous? I suspect that there's no persuasive evidence that character traits are determined by genetic factors in ways that we can control or reliably predict.

Given that mental illness is stochastically predictable via genetics, I'd be very surprised if that's true.

A quick google found a twin study suggesting that they're significantly inheritable: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8776880/

Re: The Lie That Made Me

#40

Post by dixie_land »

stickfigure wrote: post #31
madrox wrote: post #27

This is so incredibly sad. At this point in my life, I empathize with the involuntary donor quite a bit. While the author might not understand his position not wanting her to have any contact with him or his family, I certainly do. It's clear this doctor has a pattern of deceptive behavior beyond merely his practice. It's also clear that if one doctor does it, someone else has or will. I wonder how the medical board…

Can you explain that in more detail? Because I don't understand it at all. If somehow it turned out I have other children, I'd love to know how they're doing and if they're similar to me or my kid. A personal data point on the nature vs nurture debate! I can understand not wanting additional financial responsibilities - but that can't be the worry here, the author is in her 30s.

If a rape victim has an offspring and wants nothing to with it, I’d say it’s a very understandable position.
Post reply on HN