To the extent that people can “keep emotions bottled up inside,” I believe this simply means just not addressing a point of contention which makes you angry. The point is not to “release” the anger, but to address this issue which is causing the anger. If you’re not addressing it (either by preventing it or coming to peace with it) then you will keep experiencing the point of contention. In that narrow and non-Freudian sense, you are keeping your anger “bottled up.” But, you cannot just “release” your anger: you must address it. Really, there is no releasing anger; there is merely expressing it.
Venting doesn’t work
181–190 of 193 posts
Re: Venting doesn’t work
#182From my purely anecdotal experience with mentoring younger people, I've seen two main categories of venting: 1) Venting about frustrations by talking them through with someone who will listen. This forces people to put their frustrations into words and elucidate the narrative as they put it into words. This can not only help people identify their feelings and work through them, but it also forces people to decide wha…
I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…
Seek it if you feel like, but basically I predicate it on the thought modern pharma is very much trying to hit above its weight class and mental health medicine is clueless, and illiterate about the body, and AHDH is in ancient terms deeply related to vata issues, the which chronic fatigue only confirms as the real cause. Modern world is a hot vayu airy mess but I'll vent no further.
Re: Venting doesn’t work
#183Earlier quoted context omitted.
I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…
I'll just have to do a counterrant in the hopes it can be useful, it's one word: ayurveda. Seek it if you feel like, but basically I predicate it on the thought modern pharma is very much trying to hit above its weight class and mental health medicine is clueless, and illiterate about the body, and AHDH is in ancient terms deeply related to vata issues, the which chronic fatigue only confirms as the real cause. Moder…
Re: Venting doesn’t work
#184From my purely anecdotal experience with mentoring younger people, I've seen two main categories of venting: 1) Venting about frustrations by talking them through with someone who will listen. This forces people to put their frustrations into words and elucidate the narrative as they put it into words. This can not only help people identify their feelings and work through them, but it also forces people to decide wha…
I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…
Re: Venting doesn’t work
#185Re: Venting doesn’t work
#186Earlier quoted context omitted.
Best approach: Don't hire people like that. Good approach: Specify that complaints be non-specific to a person on the team.
> Specify that complaints be non-specific to a person on the team. Very often, it is the case that a specific person /is/ the problem.
If you identify a problem, the person responsible will (usually) know you're talking about them, and may even appreciate that you're not calling them out in front of the team.
If necessary, you can always reach out to them one-on-one afterwards.
Re: Venting doesn’t work
#187Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Specify that complaints be non-specific to a person on the team. Very often, it is the case that a specific person /is/ the problem.
Well yeah, but just don't call them out. If you identify a problem, the person responsible will (usually) know you're talking about them, and may even appreciate that you're not calling them out in front of the team. If necessary, you can always reach out to them one-on-one afterwards.
Re: Venting doesn’t work
#188Re: Venting doesn’t work
#189Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Researchers first criticized essays written by the study participants and then told some of them to hit a punching bag. Afterward, they gave them all an opportunity to blast loud noise at the person who had insulted their writing. People in the bag-hitting groups reported experiencing more anger and were more likely to blast noise than those who did nothing." This does sound like a selection bias and priming. You ha…
> selection bias and priming "priming" has had something of a fall from grace. > The studies of behavioral priming that I had cited in the chapter were largely discredited in the famous replication crisis of psychology... behavioral priming research is effectively dead. https://www.edge.org/adversarial-collaboration-daniel-kahnem...
Though if priming is dead, it seems interesting the people who punched the bag seemed angrier or more vindictive afterwards according to the OP study.
Re: Venting doesn’t work
#190Earlier quoted context omitted.
I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…
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