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Venting doesn’t work

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181–190 of 193 posts

Re: Venting doesn’t work

#181
I think Freudian psychological ideas still have a lot of hold on people, even though in general his theories are generally not taken seriously these days. Under Freud, your emotions are almost like physical substances: you can have “too much” of them, and need to release them. “Releasing” your anger literally removes it from your body in Freudian psychology. I believe this (incorrectly) makes a lot of intuitive sense to people, as it is difficult to maintain a state of full-fledged rage and yelling. ie, you will calm down and the emotion will pass. This is more akin to a biological state: you cannot maintain any feeling indefinitely. But, I do not believe that this means that someone is releasing the emotion in the Freudian sense of the word. In practice, if you “release” your anger in this way often you are simply practicing feeling angry. In other words, you are training your mind to focus on this emotional state, and are therefore most likely increasing the amount of anger you have. You cannot “vent” all this anger because it is not a discrete substance that you can run out of. Instead, you’re behaviorally training yourself to experience anger more often: the opposite what was intended.

To the extent that people can “keep emotions bottled up inside,” I believe this simply means just not addressing a point of contention which makes you angry. The point is not to “release” the anger, but to address this issue which is causing the anger. If you’re not addressing it (either by preventing it or coming to peace with it) then you will keep experiencing the point of contention. In that narrow and non-Freudian sense, you are keeping your anger “bottled up.” But, you cannot just “release” your anger: you must address it. Really, there is no releasing anger; there is merely expressing it.

Re: Venting doesn’t work

#182

From my purely anecdotal experience with mentoring younger people, I've seen two main categories of venting: 1) Venting about frustrations by talking them through with someone who will listen. This forces people to put their frustrations into words and elucidate the narrative as they put it into words. This can not only help people identify their feelings and work through them, but it also forces people to decide wha…

I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…

I'll just have to do a counterrant in the hopes it can be useful, it's one word: ayurveda.

Seek it if you feel like, but basically I predicate it on the thought modern pharma is very much trying to hit above its weight class and mental health medicine is clueless, and illiterate about the body, and AHDH is in ancient terms deeply related to vata issues, the which chronic fatigue only confirms as the real cause. Modern world is a hot vayu airy mess but I'll vent no further.

Re: Venting doesn’t work

#183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…

I'll just have to do a counterrant in the hopes it can be useful, it's one word: ayurveda. Seek it if you feel like, but basically I predicate it on the thought modern pharma is very much trying to hit above its weight class and mental health medicine is clueless, and illiterate about the body, and AHDH is in ancient terms deeply related to vata issues, the which chronic fatigue only confirms as the real cause. Moder…

Mental health medicine absolutely IS clueless. The explanations of why meds work make no sense, research on side effects is neglected, mechanisms are not understood. That said, stimulants are /something/ of an exception, in that they very directly counter the deficits - if not the causes - and improve essentially all outcomes.

Re: Venting doesn’t work

#184

From my purely anecdotal experience with mentoring younger people, I've seen two main categories of venting: 1) Venting about frustrations by talking them through with someone who will listen. This forces people to put their frustrations into words and elucidate the narrative as they put it into words. This can not only help people identify their feelings and work through them, but it also forces people to decide wha…

I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…

No post body was provided.

Re: Venting doesn’t work

#186
post #134
post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Best approach: Don't hire people like that. Good approach: Specify that complaints be non-specific to a person on the team.

> Specify that complaints be non-specific to a person on the team. Very often, it is the case that a specific person /is/ the problem.

Well yeah, but just don't call them out.

If you identify a problem, the person responsible will (usually) know you're talking about them, and may even appreciate that you're not calling them out in front of the team.

If necessary, you can always reach out to them one-on-one afterwards.

Re: Venting doesn’t work

#187
post #186
post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Specify that complaints be non-specific to a person on the team. Very often, it is the case that a specific person /is/ the problem.

Well yeah, but just don't call them out. If you identify a problem, the person responsible will (usually) know you're talking about them, and may even appreciate that you're not calling them out in front of the team. If necessary, you can always reach out to them one-on-one afterwards.

I agree with your premise. I’m talking more about reality, where there can be bad actors and incompetent management.

Re: Venting doesn’t work

#189
post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Researchers first criticized essays written by the study participants and then told some of them to hit a punching bag. Afterward, they gave them all an opportunity to blast loud noise at the person who had insulted their writing. People in the bag-hitting groups reported experiencing more anger and were more likely to blast noise than those who did nothing." This does sound like a selection bias and priming. You ha…

> selection bias and priming "priming" has had something of a fall from grace. > The studies of behavioral priming that I had cited in the chapter were largely discredited in the famous replication crisis of psychology... behavioral priming research is effectively dead. https://www.edge.org/adversarial-collaboration-daniel-kahnem...

Dang, I read that book not long ago, the priming narrative is also pretty strong in marketing etc. I'll have to brush up on the subject before I bring it up again.

Though if priming is dead, it seems interesting the people who punched the bag seemed angrier or more vindictive afterwards according to the OP study.

Re: Venting doesn’t work

#190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't speak for everyone, but as a person with unmedicated ADHD and chronic fatigue, I feel pretty hostile to sentiments like this. In my experience, people who engage in #2 aren't - as you seem to be implying - people who are immature and lazy. A lot of the time they're people who struggle with the executive function necessary to actually change their life, who feel helpless and just want validation after having b…

Quoted post unavailable.

It's only one of the things. And executive dysfunction does not justify abuse.
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