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What makes writing more readable?

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Re: What makes writing more readable?

#71

Post by feoren »

hintymad wrote: post #40

> Kyra is autistic and deaf. She was born early. She was very small when she was born. She has trouble seeing, hearing, eating and sleeping. Her hand shakes so she does not do sign language. Her parents think she knows some signs. This is plain, but is this good writing? Specifically, I find the writing lack of specifics. What is "early"? What is "very small"? What does "has trouble" mean? How bad is the shake? How d…

I agree. There's a big difference between simplifying writing and just omitting all the details. The example translation is almost all detail-omitting and very little simplification. How much detail is appropriate depends on your audience; it's not a clear win to just omit all details. Otherwise I can simplify their example even more:

> Kyra has problems.

Re: What makes writing more readable?

#72

Post by fl0wenol »

ChrisLTD wrote: post #25
zschuessler wrote: post #12

These tips were centered around simplification, and they are good tips. For documentation and technical writing in particular, I picked up a few mannerisms that I now use every time I write. The biggest impact has been to have a goal of limiting a paragraph to 2-3 sentences. From this goal my other writing traits came naturally. When starting a paragraph, start off with a blunt statement that summarizes the paragraph…

Nice of you to practice what you preach in this comment.

It's a demonstration of the concept in action; I love this!

Re: What makes writing more readable?

#73

Post by fl0wenol »

JackFr wrote: post #33
the_af wrote: post #26

It's interesting that the article itself isn't written in plain language, using idioms such as "posing a barrier" and many others which, according to a strict application of these rules, should be removed in favor of plainer forms [EDIT: as others have pointed out, I completely missed that you can switch the whole article to simple style. How embarrassing!] I agree with some simplifications, e.g. "profoundly deaf" is…

> "profoundly deaf" is essentially meaningless and bad style "Profoundly deaf" is not meaningless, nor is it bad style. It is in fact a medical diagnosis. Deafness exists on a continuum, and as deafness is measured "profoundly" is the most deaf you can be.

I think for the layperson, "deaf" without any qualifier is treated the same as profoundly deaf. I think the term "hard of hearing" is used when someone exists elsewhere on that continuum for most.

Re: What makes writing more readable?

#74

Post by scythmic_waves »

pesfandiar wrote: post #46
scythmic_waves wrote: post #20

"Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. That's why it's so hard." - David McCullough I agree with many of the other posts here. Some of the translations highlighted in the article seem to either lose important information or introduce confusing information. The most striking example for me was the translation from > A strong tremor in her hand makes it impossible for her to use American Sign Language…

The "hand shakes" vs. "handshakes" confusion is a known pattern that writers should typically avoid. It even has a name: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garden-path_sentence

TIL! I bet I'll start seeing garden-path sentences all over the place now :)

Re: What makes writing more readable?

#76

Post by iib »

yhoneycomb wrote: post #5
rogual wrote: post #4

There are some improvements in the "more readable" text, but also some noticeable regressions: "Born premature" is an established turn of phrase. You read it, you know exactly what is meant. "Born early" is not an established phrase. You have to think about it more. It could mean "born early in the morning" or "born before her time" or "born prematurely". You can figure it out, it's not rocket science, but it's a lit…

I agree - the causal link is very important to note. In terms of born premature vs born early, I understand that premature is the medical term. As a medical student, I also understand that it can be helpful to use more precise words in describing a situation. However, I personally think that a lot of our medical jargon is due for simplification. For example, is there really any benefit to saying "epistaxis" rather th…

From my outside perception, the medical jargon is ripe with greek-latin derived words that are strictly descriptive, adding no causal information whatsoever. My understanding is that the word tachycardia does not give an insight into why the heart beats faster.

As for "born early", I think it misses the actual problem. I think "born too early" is a closer-to-the-spirit simplification.

Re: What makes writing more readable?

#77

Post by mabub24 »

zschuessler wrote: post #12

These tips were centered around simplification, and they are good tips. For documentation and technical writing in particular, I picked up a few mannerisms that I now use every time I write. The biggest impact has been to have a goal of limiting a paragraph to 2-3 sentences. From this goal my other writing traits came naturally. When starting a paragraph, start off with a blunt statement that summarizes the paragraph…

IMO, this style is most effective on a screen, and on a phone screen at that. This style does not fare well on the page, nor if you're trying to write on a complicated subject. It has the unfortunate feeling of superficiality. Many ideas or points require more than 2 or 3 sentences of explanation. And some ideas require many, many, sentences to present and explain. Worse, too many paragraph breaks can disrupt the flow and rhythm of an argument or article and create the expectation that you are once again introducing a new idea before the last one was allowed to reach a satisfying point. What can seem more direct for the writer, can equally come across as annoying for the reader.

I also think this style is based on the incredible low expectations we now have for the ability of readers to keep their attention, but that's another argument all together. Read some Henry James and you'll see walls of text that achieve a stunning clarity all their own.

Short, standalone paragraphs are very emphatic, though, if used sparingly.

Re: What makes writing more readable?

#78

Post by jacobmartin »

hintymad wrote: post #40

> Kyra is autistic and deaf. She was born early. She was very small when she was born. She has trouble seeing, hearing, eating and sleeping. Her hand shakes so she does not do sign language. Her parents think she knows some signs. This is plain, but is this good writing? Specifically, I find the writing lack of specifics. What is "early"? What is "very small"? What does "has trouble" mean? How bad is the shake? How d…

This particular passage reminds me of the anti-example in Strunk & White about "Avoid[ing] a Succession of Loose Sentences."[0]

I know others have pointed out that the article's point is about those with intellectual or learning disabilities, or learners of foreign languages, but I wonder if this really bears out. Literary Latin is full of (extremely) periodic sentences and once one has picked up on the general prosody and feel of this practice, those sentences aren't particularly hard to understand, even as a non-native reader.

[0]: https://archive.org/details/pdfy-2_qp8jQ61OI6NHwa/page/n27/m...

Re: What makes writing more readable?

#79

Post by e12e »

mabub24 wrote: post #77
zschuessler wrote: post #12

These tips were centered around simplification, and they are good tips. For documentation and technical writing in particular, I picked up a few mannerisms that I now use every time I write. The biggest impact has been to have a goal of limiting a paragraph to 2-3 sentences. From this goal my other writing traits came naturally. When starting a paragraph, start off with a blunt statement that summarizes the paragraph…

IMO, this style is most effective on a screen, and on a phone screen at that. This style does not fare well on the page, nor if you're trying to write on a complicated subject. It has the unfortunate feeling of superficiality. Many ideas or points require more than 2 or 3 sentences of explanation. And some ideas require many, many, sentences to present and explain. Worse, too many paragraph breaks can disrupt the flo…

> Read some Henry James and you'll see walls of text that achieve a stunning clarity all their own.

I take it you mean his non-fiction, given the subject? I stumbled on this - I'd be happy to hear some other recommendations - this isn't prose I'd generally look for in a contemporary text that tries to teach a subject - it's too dense for that, I believe:

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/60040/60040-h/60040-h.htm#Pa...

That said, I certainly agree that telegram style can get tiresome, and even hinder communication.

Many poisons are merely too big servings of a remedy.

Re: What makes writing more readable?

#80

Post by joeman1000 »

I love the aim here. I’m in the habit now of just chucking anything with convoluted sentences. Despite this, I detest the way they use ‘But’ in this guide. It is not proper to start a sentence with ‘But’. This is less readable!
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