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The data are clear: The boys are not all right

washingtonpost.com

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Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#661

Post by grvdrm »

KennyBlanken wrote: post #645
grvdrm wrote: post #286

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Spend some time reading about infertility at the start of the baby making process and I think you’ll find that it can terribly difficult. Especially as you progress into your mid/late 30s (women). And it is that starting process that can also cost lots of money, time, and energy.

Spend some time reading about infertility and you'll find that the number one cause for both men and women is obesity. Every single one of my friends or acquaintances who is obese has had trouble conceiving. Every. Single. One.

Sure, I didn’t have that in mind but I would say it augments my point rather than refutes it.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#662

Post by john_moscow »

at_a_remove wrote: post #237
emerged wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

White, straight male in my 40s who worked hard to build a decent career. The feeling that this culture hates me based on each of those categories, completely without knowing me, is hard to ignore much longer without a response. The feeling comes from being on the losing side of every action the government and popular culture takes. Being told that you can’t even be involved in a conversation about that fact.

Go look at Google's Mother's Day doodles. Go look at Google's Father's Day doodles (if you can find them, suspiciously absent for a while). "Men are trash." "Men are awful." Then look up on Wikipedia the "Women are wonderful" effect. And of course the ever-popular "dick is abundant and low-value." You get suggestions like white people should be vaccinated last. And so on and so on. It just never stops. It's hard to b…

Because around the times of Occupy Wall Street the Left has been hijacked and redirected from addressing economic issues relevant to the majority (property ownership/retirement perspectives, cost of raising children, medical/education costs) to manufacturing intangible problems and directing the society's passion to solving them. So the fact that 50% of the population has massive debts and lives paycheck-to-paycheck is considered unworthy of discussion.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#663

Post by alar44 »

amanaplanacanal wrote: post #596
bradlys wrote: post #546

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Seriously, myself and everyone I know found that upon reaching 33 the interest from women in their 20s sky rockets. You are definitely doing something wrong, not society. Huge YMMV. A lot of us are physically similar to what we were in our 20s but I definitely peaked when I was around 25. It’s been a steady downhill trend since then and the interest from women has gone completely downhill. Mind you - I’m not exactl…

Totally don't understand this. I'm in my mid sixties and have no trouble finding wonderful women. Am I just extra lucky?

It seems to be a generational thing. Women over 40 are so much easier to date than early thirties and under. I'm 38 and it seems my generation or the ones younger just do it differently. I don't get it. I can't get them to go out in public sooner than 2 months of chatting, but late 30s and early 40s it's usually a few texts and we meet up. It seems the younger generation is more comfortable being virtual. And keeping it that way. Or something. I can't quite put my finger on it but I've stopped even trying to date people in their 30s. 40s+ seems to still live in the physical world.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#664

Post by rdtwo »

diordiderot wrote: post #389
orange_joe wrote: post #296

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People work 10% fewer hours now than in the 1960s, but the obesity rate has gone up from 13% in that time period to 36%. The obesity crisis is IMO more related to what we eat, and an increasingly sedentary lifestyle. https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/AVHWPEUSA065NRUG

Not having a wife at home to make meals, because all households _need_ dual incomes 10% is what, ~30 minutes less?

Just doing dishes and laundry as well as shopping and cooking is 1.5-2 hours a day. 3 if you add cleaning 5-6 if you add child care

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#665

Post by stickfigure »

thematrixturtle wrote: post #451
irrational wrote: post #293

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who wouldn’t prefer to stay home if they had the choice? I could spend my days traveling, hiking, going to the beach, reading, working on hobbies, learning new skills, cooking, etc.

I think you misspelled changing diapers, doing laundry three times a day, spoon-feeding broccoli puree, scraping dried broccoli off the floor, shopping while trying to contain a squealing octopus, etc.

It's... really not that bad? Actually, it's pretty fun.

I work from home, wife doesn't, that makes me the defacto stay-at-home dad. It's definitely playing the startup game in "hard mode" but I love not missing a thing.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#666

Post by ravel-bar-foo »

prawn wrote: post #641
ravel-bar-foo wrote: post #634

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So my family is very liberal. When I mentioned to my trans-brother that my goal in life is to be a well-earning father who is able to provide for my family, I got called 'priviledged', told I have an outdated mindset, and demeaned as a wannabe patriarch. I didn't say anything about limiting the opportunities of my wife, but bigoted sentiments were read into my desire to support a family. This despite the fact that my…

They're not giving you a very charitable reading. Easy enough to ignore. And their response doesn't stop you from putting yourself into that position - to provide for yourself, for a partner, for parents, children, etc. Just remember that money isn't the only way you provide, so maybe "well-earning" is what gave them the wrong impression.

> They're not giving you a very charitable reading.

Good point. I hadn't noticed before, but that has been a repeated problem with my brother. When he transitioned, my parent's difficulty changing pronouns was interpreted as a sign of their lack of support. Well no, they're just trying to break 25 years of conditioning ...

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#667

Post by PuppyTailWags »

antisthenes wrote: post #461
adriand wrote: post #430

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> tell Women painfully stupid stuff they want to hear If you are looking for a reason for your travails, here it is. If you started out with this level of contempt, it’s no wonder you’ve been unsuccessful. If you became embittered due to your challenges, then I’m sorry. That is a hard path. But if you want it to change, I think you have some work to do. And I wish you luck with it.

The typical women are wonderful counterargument. Dime a dozen in threads like these. I suggest you take your own advice and work on your issues that make you respond in a knee-jerk manner, blaming them like that, instead of assuming that OP may be correct in their assessment about the dating scene.

No post body was provided.

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#668

Post by kansface »

8f2ab37a-ed6c wrote: post #520
_ktx2 wrote: post #500

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Right. It’s our fault, that is, men’s. We live in a society in which we we have disproportionately had the power. And this is the result. I find gender blaming conversation to be reductive. The decline of men and boys is not men's fault nor is it women's fault. Dare I say there's little data to show either way, nor is it really helpful in healing from a dysfunctional society that has failed you on a systemic and in…

Women as an "interest group" have been incredible at PR this last century. Men, on the other hand, have yet to realize that they can't coast on the existing historic momentum and have to start speaking up. It doesn't help that folks who attempt to represent men's rights are instantly smeared as either pathetic incel losers, or as alt-right oppressor misogynists. There's no in-between that I'm aware of. From what I ca…

Doesn't Jordan Peterson occupy that niche?

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#669

Post by rdtwo »

awaythrow483 wrote: post #359
paulpauper wrote: post #111

The crisis, if there is one, is that society has less use for males who have IQs between 90-105 or so, who cannot cut it in STEM, and who are finding it hard to cope with increasingly competitive economic conditions and higher overall costs like rent, and is why many men are delaying family formation or moving back with parents (but also due to careerism for women). Men are just dropping out rather than doing low-pai…

I'm 33, Ive got a fairly high IQ, make $340k in a STEM field and enough to retire tomorrow, I'm not unattractive, and put a huge amount of effort over many years into online dating. I've pretty much given up on dating. I have a total inability to find anyone I'm interested in that is interested in me. When I was younger and I wanted to go to bars and get drunk and be an idiot I had plenty of attractive sexual partner…

You want a 1% female? I mean you sound like you are only 1% on income alone so that’s probably not enough. You probably have also gotten quite difficult at your age. At some point people get old and really set in their ways and are hard to merge into a marriage unit

Re: The data are clear: The boys are not all right

#670

Post by throwaway894345 »

nautilius wrote: post #625
throwaway894345 wrote: post #588

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To be fair, you can interpret “cultural legacy” as “celebrating the same holidays” or as “having similar morals even if they are divorced from religious faith”.

Yes, but a superficial and accidental partial overlap between atheist and religious morals is meaningless.

I disagree that it’s superficial or accidental.
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