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Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#521

Post by skinney6 »

We are insignificant and meaningless. Just look at that data. We live on a planet that's billions of years old in a solar system that's probably even older. Currently each one of us is but one of almost 8 billion others currently alive right now. One day you will die with millions of others. Not long after that anyone that has a memory of you will die. You will be completely erased.

You can see that as depressing if you want. I see it a liberating. Accept your current experience for what it is. Not what your silly little mind thinks it _should_ be. When you do that there is no room for discontent, only happiness, peace and contentment. Live life for what it is; a beautiful dream.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#522

Post by alangibson »

thread_id wrote: post #425
alangibson wrote: post #79

This is almost exactly my life, shifted by a decade. The problem is that by 35 you can't get by on novelty anymore because you've seen some version of everything there is to see. The worst thing you can do is pine for the good old days. They aren't coming back. And they weren't that good anyway. Your best times are ahead if you can successfully adjust. What worked for me was putting down roots. I resisted it mightily…

> The problem is that by 35 you can't get by on novelty anymore because you've seen some version of everything there is to see. This could not possibly be true. You have only just begun. The mere thimble full fo knowledge and experience that you have accumulated thus far is nothing compared to what lies ahead. But only you can make it happen. Make a decision. Take an action. The comments here are loaded with wonderfu…

> This could not possibly be true.

The novelty you experience when doing something new must decrease over time. To say otherwise is to say the world is infinite, which it definitely is not.

At some point the buzz one gets from the novelty of new experiences is not enough to make a satisfying life. That's when it's time to look for source of meaning for your life.

It's different for everyone. For me and the OP it happened rather quickly.

> Make a decision. Take an action

Thanks coach

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#523

Post by trinsic2 »

For me, my mental/spiritual/emotional health needed to come first. All my problems around life centered around unconscious turmoil that I wasn't facing. Its my believe that health problems start on a emotional/mental level which has a lot to do with the choices I make.

For me, I really needed to work on resolving my early inner trauma that I carried with me throughout my life.

The information that helped me face this aspects of my life and helped me get back on track of living a loving and peaceful life:

Constructive Living - David K. Reynolds. All works of James Allen The Mankind Project (Don't believe everything you read online about MKP)

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#524

Post by wrycoder »

ifdefdebug wrote: post #90
nix23 wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I suggest machining That's a great hobby, but instead of screws i made some small steam-engines, it's not too hard and it's absolutely fascinating if they start working ;) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp8FMqgc5Io Not my content...

What if they blow into your face? :/

You hydrostatic test them at a multiple of their working pressure.

This uses water instead of steam. If something lets go, the energy released is relatively small.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#525

Post by ridiculous_leke »

elzbardico wrote: post #165
hughrr wrote: post #132

I’m in my late 40s. Just gone through 15 years of absolute shit with an ex partner and financial chaos. Decided I’d fix it in 2019. Three important things to concentrate on: 1. Health. If that’s off, fix it first. Everything depends on health. Sort out your diet, physical fitness and health and mental health follows. I’m fitter than all my peers and both fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s. Can run a half marat…

Plus one in health and physical fitness. Buying a bicycle and using it daily was probably the best investment I ever made in myself. Also, I can't believe that I smoked those filthy cigarretes for so long, but how good is that I stopped this habit. About material realizations please remind that the average successful enterpreneur age is about 45. I only started being able to save serious, retirement-style money when…

Smoking is also terrible for your social life, unless you only prefer the company of smokers. Most of my childhood friends became weed/cigarette addicts. For my own well-being, I had to stop being in contact with them.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#526

Post by mancerayder »

jart wrote: post #202
sillysaurusx wrote: post #158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You don't have to be famous in order to play a small part of something impactful that's larger than yourself and will be respected for generations. Once someone leaves a company, their work generally fades into oblivion. Almost immediately, too. Are you around 25? I used to feel as you do. But at 34, I'm with OP.

I'm older than you. The code I write and the production systems I've brought online tend to stick around. It's because I pour my heart and soul into making them as beautiful and poetic as possible. Because I'm not just thinking about my paycheck. I'm thinking about the next guy who's going to be maintaining it, and how good his life is going to be, after I've moved on to a different project, and then the next guy. I…

I've been building systems for years in numerous places. Have you never experienced a political situation where a decision is made in these systems you describe as beautiful and poetic, that is not your own and yet due to organisational structures you must obey? I am curious given your attachment how you handle these. They're standard political issues in organizations larger than a few people.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#527

Post by davidmurdoch »

tayo42 wrote: post #335
drzaiusapelord wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yep this. The average rate of return is 10% so this is someone who can make $50k a year just off this money alone. The real median wage in the USA for workers who worked full time in 2020 was $56k. This person has enough money to nearly replicate the financial success of your average American via a do-nothing secondary income. Your average American retires with only $200k saved up by age 65 as well. $500k is a lot of…

Where are you getting 10% guaranteed a year?

My 401k lost 6% last year... and after factoring in inflation and the account maintenance fees I might have been better off playing the lottery.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#528

Post by FarhadG »

I highly recommend reading, "Nonviolent Communication." Don't let the title throw you off.

I sense the things you're doing (and wanting to do) are not aligned with any important needs. This lack of alignment (or awareness) can create confusion—and it's very common.

These are phases where we get the opportunity to go within and uncover parts of yourself worth exploring. This book can help you be more compassionate with yourself (and others) and help to see your needs.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#529

Post by dahart »

drran wrote: post #401
tomerbd wrote: post #231

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which bike did you buy?

Buy a bike with matching frame for your height, with good double suspension, e.g. with front and rear RockShox or better, and raise the handlebar to a comfortable height. Your back will thank you. Install all safety systems: front and rear bike lights, mirror, reflectors, use helmet, reflectors, wear reflective jacket, etc. You must be visible at the road at all times. (I use no helmet, because I'm trained to fall pr…

What does trained to fall properly mean? Are you absolutely sure there is such a thing? I doubt that there is, because the human neck is not strong enough to withstand many kinds of flat falls (just watch FailArmy for a while), and assuming you can prevent a flat fall during an accident is a bad assumption. Assuming you can avoid a head-first fall is a bad assumption, and assuming you’re not going to be struck by a car is a bad assumption.

Have been biking many decades, fallen more times than I can count, and am as trained to fall properly as one gets, I think. I’ve had two falls in the last decade that would have put me in the hospital without a helmet, and one that may have killed me - head collided with a rock at high speed, but I had a good helmet and walked away. My belief is the opposite - that my need for a helmet has only grown the more skill I have. As I’ve gained expertise, I ride faster on average, I’m in traffic more, picking more difficult routes, riding in a wider variety of weather and conditions. All reasons to

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