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Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#401

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plus one in health and physical fitness. Buying a bicycle and using it daily was probably the best investment I ever made in myself. Also, I can't believe that I smoked those filthy cigarretes for so long, but how good is that I stopped this habit. About material realizations please remind that the average successful enterpreneur age is about 45. I only started being able to save serious, retirement-style money when…

Which bike did you buy?

Buy a bike with matching frame for your height, with good double suspension, e.g. with front and rear RockShox or better, and raise the handlebar to a comfortable height. Your back will thank you.

Install all safety systems: front and rear bike lights, mirror, reflectors, use helmet, reflectors, wear reflective jacket, etc. You must be visible at the road at all times. (I use no helmet, because I'm trained to fall properly, but I recommend to wear helmet until you fall at least 10 times.)

Ensure that your legs are working for the full length, by raising the seat as much as you can, to avoid problems with joints. I'm raising my seat so much, that it feels like running, because I press pedal with toe instead of whole foot. Otherwise, you will have powerful legs, but weak foots, so you can break your heel just by running. (I did).

If you ride in winter conditions, lower the bike seat until you can reach the ground with the tips of your shoes instead, so you can reach the ground quickly when the road is slippery.

Bike will make your legs strong and healthy, but your upper body will require additional training. AFAIK, the best way to keep the whole body in good condition is to combine biking with swimming or sport dancing. (I use biking + ballroom dancing). Ballroom dancing also improves situation awareness a lot: I never had a collision with somebody else after few years of ballroom dancing.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#402

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because I have a whole bunch of employees who still like to eat and a whole bunch of customers who love what we do. If I stop, all that stops too. The state of my partnership might be crap, but the worst day I’ve ever had working for myself is still better than the best day I had working for someone else.

Would it be feasible and better to start a new business and let the customers and employees who want to migrate across?

Not unless you like lawsuits.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#404
post #361
post #335

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Where are you getting 10% guaranteed a year?

Just average the winning move of betting everything on Greenspan Put over the past couple years and ignore anything that happened before ;)

Just wait until the 10% returners start to see -5-10% for 10 years returns.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#405

I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice: 1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of yo…

While I am glad that you are enjoying kids, I do not think it is fair the way you paint the picture of people who choose to not have kids ("feeling sorry for them") as if it was a condition or something. Plus I think having children is not something that should be rushed. Pretty sure there are many parents out there who became a parent because of social pressure. What if I tell you I find fullfilment in travelling? S…

If you don't have kids you are missing a fundamental understanding of what is driving most people each and every day. You are clueless about most of the world because most people have kids and it profoundly affects them. You can't know this unless you experience it yourself.

It's also difficult to understand what you are getting into by having kids. It brings on a profound level of anxiety about their feelings and ultimate happiness. Your world is not yours anymore. You don't control them and you can rarely fix them. Anything that makes them sad is like a stab to your heart that requires immediate action. Imagine having a kid that does not have any ambitions and struggles to find any happiness and has problems with drug addiction. Get ready to have your soul ripped out.

Not having kids prevents this very possible outcome and allows you to focus on pampering yourself with your millions your whole life...with the side effect of perhaps coming to the conclusion that your own life is meaningless somewhere down the road.

If you reach a certain age and are still childless just know that nearly everyone will feel sorry for you.

The world does not revolve around single people...at all.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#406
Maybe early retirement / FIRE would help a bit here.

I am about to hit 30 soon and I came up with the idea of Retire 35 to start planning for the inevitable.

If you haven't figured out what to do, early retirement can at least give you more time to think about it without the stress / burnout / worrying about work or finances.

Shameless plug: https://retire35.com/

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#407

I was in similar spot with around 30. My advice: 1.) Start dating. It might be a drag and maybe embarrassing at times, but obviously not being a loser having saved up half a mil in 10 years, you will probably find someone. Don't buy into that Hollywood "soulmate" crap. More likely than not there is already someone you know or at max someone one graph edge away which will be a perfectly fine partner for the rest of yo…

While I am glad that you are enjoying kids, I do not think it is fair the way you paint the picture of people who choose to not have kids ("feeling sorry for them") as if it was a condition or something. Plus I think having children is not something that should be rushed. Pretty sure there are many parents out there who became a parent because of social pressure. What if I tell you I find fullfilment in travelling? S…

I also wonder what a child would think that read that.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#408

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I am glad that you are enjoying kids, I do not think it is fair the way you paint the picture of people who choose to not have kids ("feeling sorry for them") as if it was a condition or something. Plus I think having children is not something that should be rushed. Pretty sure there are many parents out there who became a parent because of social pressure. What if I tell you I find fullfilment in travelling? S…

If you don't have kids you are missing a fundamental understanding of what is driving most people each and every day. You are clueless about most of the world because most people have kids and it profoundly affects them. You can't know this unless you experience it yourself. It's also difficult to understand what you are getting into by having kids. It brings on a profound level of anxiety about their feelings and ul…

Not everybody is created equal. I love my kids, don't get me wrong. But I also know people that live for their art, their skill, their ability to help others and so on.

> If you reach a certain age and are still childless just know that nearly everyone will feel sorry for you.

Nearly everyone is a pretty large assumption, I think you speak mostly for yourself, not for 'nearly everyone'.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#409

This is almost exactly my life, shifted by a decade. The problem is that by 35 you can't get by on novelty anymore because you've seen some version of everything there is to see. The worst thing you can do is pine for the good old days. They aren't coming back. And they weren't that good anyway. Your best times are ahead if you can successfully adjust. What worked for me was putting down roots. I resisted it mightily…

You don't need to _have_ a family. But it helps to find one.

Can you add a bit more about how this works?
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