As a Non-English speaker, my advice is to try some language exchange services.
There are a lot of girls out there in their early 20s who want to have a relationship with English speaker like you.
Learn a new language and make new connections with new people.
A good travel, or new business opportunities.
Who knows the future?
Being unmarried also means being free.
Take advantage of the privileges you have.
Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
81–90 of 890 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#82short answer: it will pass
longer answer: been there, seen that. carry on, find yourself a hobby and a couple of friends who share it (might require some effort, but it’s worth it). kids are also very rewarding (probably not for everyone, but surely for me), albeit very demanding too. anyway, it will pass, just dont try to drink or drug it out - that will only make things worse
good luck
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#83I think it's all a sign that you look for happiness at a wrong place (for you). I'd suggest to look at other aspects of life, in light of what makes people happy, what makes their time feel worthwhile. For example, you haven't listed your social connections at all, aside from being single. If this reflects your current priorities, I'd suggest to look for people who make you feel like you belong.
Coincidentally this is also how I personally moved my life forward, but it's not just an anecdote, lots of different sources tell me that this is what matter at the end of the day. For a random example, Season 3, Episode 4 of Bojack Horseman (Fish out of water).
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#84500k in savings? That is quite the achievement. You should feel good about that.
definitely. I have just under 500k in debt and about 30k in savings. and I'm 47.
Most of that debt is a house (that needs a lot of restoration). I have two awesome kids and a wife though. I'm happy with that part of me.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#85I'm 33 and I'm in a very similar boat. Actually exactly the same to be completely honest. Several things have helped me cope with those thoughts. First one was force myself not to think about it. Whatever spare time I have, fill it up with something and avoid just sitting/laying down and contemplating. Books, walks, exercising, movies, stupid youtube videos, anything but giving myself the opportunity to think about it. Second one is getting yourself into new hobbies, which is extremely easy. I've never been a car guy or anything but cars generally interest me, so I started following Formula 1 closely. Got myself a 3D printer and started studying 3D modeling. Microcontrollers, sensors and small devices are dirt cheap and making small devices is extremely rewarding. And last but certainly not least, when the pandemic started I got myself a dog to keep me company. A fairly large one and a breed that is notorious for being extremely smart and having an infinite amount of energy. I definitely underestimated both of those things but it has helped me massively.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#86As a Non-English speaker, my advice is to try some language exchange services. There are a lot of girls out there in their early 20s who want to have a relationship with English speaker like you. Learn a new language and make new connections with new people. A good travel, or new business opportunities. Who knows the future? Being unmarried also means being free. Take advantage of the privileges you have.
Mixed bag. Meeting girls in another country is fun when you're traveling and you're 18. It can be depressing if they don't understand your culture and you don't communicate well. Sometimes I can't even understand girls from my own country anymore who are ten years younger than me.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#87Earlier quoted context omitted.
Perhaps this is naive of me but to have half a million in the bank and being miserable sounds like a pretty poor state of affairs. Time to convert some of that money into time and experiences.
I would guess loneliness is a big part of it. You don't have to be "successful" to find a life partner.
You're more likely to find one before you get rich.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#88> I am single and haven't had a serious relationship for many years now. Get married, start a family. Stop trying to find meaning in tech or alcohol or money. Good luck.
Get married? I dunno bout that. Kiss half your wealth goodbye. Children? You can be jailed for not paying child support on imputed income. That's imaginary money you don't have.
> Get married? I dunno bout that. Kiss half your wealth goodbye.
jeez man,you sound like an incel.
getting married is about having a life partner to share the best and worse of life together with. money is just something that happens.
Children dont have to happen but if they do, you'd have to understand that children change your perspective on what is important in life.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#89Just turned 35. Suffering very similarly, though minus the savings.
I saw a therapist for 2 years which helped a little and got me to the point where I realised I needed to get out of London, as it felt impossible to build deep relationships.
So I recently moved to a much smaller city and am making new friends and connections here and trying to build these relationships much deeper than I have in the past. I think it's helping but when I'm home, alone, the malaise begins to return.
I've also lost pretty much all my enthusiasm for tech lately, so I've gone down to a 4 day week, though I often feel like I'm "wasting" the extra free day off.
However, one of my new friends here is going through a coding bootcamp and talking with them about tech makes me feel enthusiastic again, so I'm considering how to move to some kind of teaching/tutoring role. I've volunteered as a mentor for bootcamp students, to get a taste, but that's not started yet - I shall see!
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?
#90I'm 58. Everything IS an different iteration of the same thing. Generally, if intelligent adults are involved, there are likely to be some useful new things in the new iteration, small improvements. On rare occasion, there are massive changes that only become apparent later. (Like when transistors first appeared, they wore out, like tubes, but slower... germanium was replaced by silicon, and lifetimes tended towards…
>I suggest machining That's a great hobby, but instead of screws i made some small steam-engines, it's not too hard and it's absolutely fascinating if they start working ;) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp8FMqgc5Io Not my content...
What if they blow into your face? :/