Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

> You can form a psychological dependence to a substance that does not produce a physical dependence.

Yes, I understand that.

Do you have any actual evidence that this happens with psychedelics though?

My personal experiences have shown me a very different picture. After a trip I don't want to touch the thing with a long pole for days or weeks, and that's the same I've seen with other people, including some heavy party-goers who are definitely addicted chemically and/or psychologically to many other substances and habits.

Sure, those are anecdotes, but so far I haven't seen evidence to the contrary of them. You haven't provided me with any either, except that Addiction Center article with no science backing. They sell addiction treatment, so it's in their business interest that more addiction exists or is purported to exist. Note that I'm not assuming malice on their side. It's probably more likely that given the lack of evidence either way, they decided to lean towards the more conservative side, which also aligns with their business.

Thanks, that at least gives a basis for finding agreeable qualifiers to make a weaker claim. One of them is: if your first year was any time in the last n years... Is there an agreeable n? Salaries have gone up outside of the coasts. A quick search found https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewdepietro/2019/05/21/softw... showing data from 2018 (split between "of systems software" and "of applications software"), with the lowest average for applications wage being Wyoming at $72k and systems wage being Pennsylvania at $60k. The latter is interesting since Pennsylvania ranks 25 for "applications" at $96k. (Amusingly I also found https://www.ziprecruiter.com/Salaries/What-Is-the-Average-So... which puts Wyoming as the highest at $107k and Texas near the bottom at $80k; I'm pretty skeptical of that data though beyond it only supposedly coming from ADP.)

Anecdotally, in Utah there are startups as of two years ago offering $200k/yr, but I've got friends there working at unsexy places like the water company or on library software. I think the lowest-earning friend is somewhere around $80k/yr and refuses to consider looking around. 10 years ago out here in the Seattle region, in 2012 I worked at a mostly-two-man startup with a mix of part-time/full-time for $20/hr. If that was full time it'd have been $41k/yr, but it wasn't, so I didn't have a year saved up when we dissolved. Nevertheless I did have enough saved up that with the additional support of some student loans I could mostly wrap up my schooling in 2013 without working even during the off periods. In 2014 I started my first non-startup job and would have been happy with $80k but instead I got $110k, which less than two years later would be a typical starting salary for the one lower "Associate" tier roles used for entry-level incomers with truly no prior experience beyond maybe an internship.

Having previously made $15/hr ($31k/yr if full time, which again it wasn't) during 2010/2011 I do at least understand how hard it can be to save up at that level, so I'm not going to attempt arguing that at $30k/yr and $1500/mo in rent it's somehow straightforward. At that time I split an apartment but circumstances led to me paying the whole thing for a while at around $800/mo, then I moved to a rental house with 3 other people but only paid $550/mo. Rents have only gone up and currently I pay $1750/mo; I can't imagine tolerating $1500/mo at $30k. What was wrong with your area to have such high rents and such low salaries?

Given all that, I'm committed at least to being more careful with my qualifications in the future and I'll try to avoid making such broad claims. Would you accept a weaker claim that "After a year in software engineering in one of the hot areas like coastal cities or Austin, ..."? I don't really want to weaken it that far, since I think salaries have risen enough elsewhere in the last, say, 6 years, that I'd rather make the weaker claim "After a year in software engineering if you've started in the last 6 years...". Is there any n of years you'd agree with, or is it still primarily location-based to you? I also may need to make a qualifier to indicate some sort of funded or longer-established company and not an unfunded garage-style lean startup. I did leave a qualification in my original statement but that hasn't been argued with and I'll keep it (i.e. the possibility of a suspiciously low salary that may need to be addressed first; my friend making around $80k despite working at the same place for many years is near this category, since area salaries around them have gone up quite a bit, however in their case it's not enough on its own to preclude huge savings given the area's living expenses).

"out sick" is one thing. Taking a full year off is another. Our capacity plans include set aside time for people for sick leave, vacations, meetings, and things like "Hack week", etc. We don't have capacity set aside for people to take a year off like it ain't no thang.

He wasn’t doing nothing, he was taking care of his health. Would you react the same if he was treating cancer?

Burnout is real and really, really bad. It is a lot of suffering. Don’t be snarky to people about worst experiences of their lives.

Did those break change your attitude when going back onto the market ?

I'm feeling less naive and more picky, which also makes me more curious and more motivated. As if a kind of freedom grew. A necessary one.