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The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

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Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#331

Post by Mezzie »

int0x2e wrote: post #269
Mezzie wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This isn't something that I have to personally worry about if I'm by myself, but it's something that so many women do have to worry about all the time. I can't even imagine the burden that women must carry. Not just women, but children. I was aware that I could be sexually assaulted/harrassed and what to do about it by the time I was 5, and I started getting uncomfortable comments in person around age 11. I'm also…

This is well off the main thread here so please feel free to ignore my request, but as a loving parent of a 3 year-old girl, I worry about when/how do we explain to her what is and isn't okay for adults (and other kids) to do around her, and how she can protect herself, seek help or otherwise handle a situation. Since you mentioned you were aware of the danger when you were as young as 5 - when and how would you sugg…

For a 3 year old, the important things are to make sure she knows she can come to you any time she feels uncomfortable. Also, there's no need to go into detail about it being a sex thing; you should approach it with the same level of detail you do the 'don't trust strangers' conversation. I knew that nobody should touch my private parts and mouth kissing was for grown-ups, like coffee, and if anybody tried, I should go find other adults + tell them. I couldn't have told you anything about why somebody would do that; I just knew there were bad grown ups, and that's about the level you're working with at 3 years old. There are bad grown ups (like whatever bad person in TV shows she watches), and if you find one, go get a good grown up right away. Emphasize most people are good and it's very rare, like how everybody in the family practices for a fire, and that we all watch out for one another. That sort of thing. (I don't know your parenting philosophy.)

I'm assuming you have a neurotypical, potty-trained 3 year old; it's more complex when things like toilet-help are involved, I know.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#332

Post by Mezzie »

zozbot234 wrote: post #283
brnaftr360 wrote: post #236

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a considerable asymmetry here between men and women. I'm really curious about sussing it out and understanding how it develops. At an early age, about 5 or so I was exposed to sex, with peers, male/female. Later I was raped through coercion by two older children at 10-ish, male/female. Additionally none of this was ever reported until adulthood. As a male I've repeatedly been put in positions that I could des…

You're assuming that trauma is a matter of "framing", but it's at least as much a long-term consequence of the acute stress reaction that's directly connected to the event. I think it's possible that you experienced somewhat limited trauma, but others are not nearly as lucky.

Agree; I find that such a frustrating part of trauma myself. I'm well aware it wasn't my fault, and I don't blame myself. It doesn't absolve me of the physical effects of all those stress hormones though...

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#333

Post by Mezzie »

brnaftr360 wrote: post #236
Mezzie wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This isn't something that I have to personally worry about if I'm by myself, but it's something that so many women do have to worry about all the time. I can't even imagine the burden that women must carry. Not just women, but children. I was aware that I could be sexually assaulted/harrassed and what to do about it by the time I was 5, and I started getting uncomfortable comments in person around age 11. I'm also…

There's a considerable asymmetry here between men and women. I'm really curious about sussing it out and understanding how it develops. At an early age, about 5 or so I was exposed to sex, with peers, male/female. Later I was raped through coercion by two older children at 10-ish, male/female. Additionally none of this was ever reported until adulthood. As a male I've repeatedly been put in positions that I could des…

Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. (And I'm not offended.)

I'm both homosexual and visually impaired (I was legally blind until I was four years old), which overrode a lot of female/sex-specific messages. Women who are attracted to men may have received that message, but that's not the message as I interpreted it. As a young, conventionally-attractive (at the time, I'm old now) lesbian woman, sex was framed to me as something that men were always going to want from me and that I:

a.) could do nothing about this and

b.) got nothing from it; the most I could hope for was that it would be limited to comments

On the other hand, I was online as a kid and both age and sex/gender presentation were pretty fluid and what you're suggesting does track with how people approached sexual topics with me when they knew I was female versus when I was assumed to be a young male person (there are no girls on the Internet, remember).

One thing I find interesting in how male versus female victims discuss their assaults is that both focus on how traumatizing it is to be helpless, but the women who are traumatized usually focus more on the physical helplessness, while men who are traumatized usually focus more on the social helplessness. Neither is to be dismissed.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#334

Post by Zerverus »

the_mar wrote: post #323
cjaro wrote: post #231

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The veterinary field is the same way. I saw a TON of abused pets & animals when I was doing vet tech work. I ultimately decided not to pursue vet school.

did you really just compare the two

No they did not. They made an observation about a related field.

That said, animal abuse is correlated with human abuse

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#335

Post by nazgulnarsil »

To everyone who attempts to engage with this problem with a clear head despite the emotional difficulty of doing so: thank you. There's a lot of talk of making the world better in the silicon valley sphere, good for it to touch the concrete of what we're up against.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#336

Post by int_19h »

wolverine876 wrote: post #315
int_19h wrote: post #304

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> White people are much safer around police because they have power in the legal system (generally speaking about the entire country); they can protect themselves. This is true statistically, but I think OP's point is that statistics should not be used to dismiss individual experiences. Daniel Shaver was white, for example. Cheye Calvo was a white mayor when his house was raided (speaking of power!). Thing is, police…

> This is true statistically No, it's true really . White people, overall, really have much more real power. It's not a number in a report, but a hard fact of reality. And then, any time racism comes up, lots of white people find any way to downplay it.

"Statistically true" is not the opposite of "really true". It just means that what's true overall is not necessarily true for every specific individual.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#337

Post by javajosh »

RichardCA wrote: post #330
javajosh wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Interestingly, there's another child comment, flagged and dead [edit: it has been resurrected], that says simply, "Sh...no-one cares about men." It's not a great comment, as it lacks substance, but it reflects something real and important. Sexual abuse is to women as police violence is to black people. These classes of people are affected more (far more - perhaps 2x?) than others, but that doesn't mean others aren't…

That's one take, here is another: In some parts of the world, getting any help at all to women who are sexually victimized is so difficult that any discussion of men's trauma gets filtered as a zero-sum game. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2011/jul/17/the-rape-of-...

Thanks for the link, although that is the stuff of nightmares. I had no idea such atrocities happened to anyone, men or women, even in times of war.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#338

Post by alar44 »

tasha0663 wrote: post #297
brnaftr360 wrote: post #236

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a considerable asymmetry here between men and women. I'm really curious about sussing it out and understanding how it develops. At an early age, about 5 or so I was exposed to sex, with peers, male/female. Later I was raped through coercion by two older children at 10-ish, male/female. Additionally none of this was ever reported until adulthood. As a male I've repeatedly been put in positions that I could des…

> at an early age women are given the impression that sex is their single lever in a relationship or socially I can't speak for all eras and populations, but I suspect that that anecdote is an outlier. > I wonder if I'm an oddball If I may be so bold, you seem emotionally detached from the incident. That itself might be a response to the trauma.

No post body was provided.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#339

Post by zozbot234 »

wolverine876 wrote: post #284
javajosh wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Interestingly, there's another child comment, flagged and dead [edit: it has been resurrected], that says simply, "Sh...no-one cares about men." It's not a great comment, as it lacks substance, but it reflects something real and important. Sexual abuse is to women as police violence is to black people. These classes of people are affected more (far more - perhaps 2x?) than others, but that doesn't mean others aren't…

It is about power, and in the US African-American and women (and LGBTQ and others) are widely discriminated against, and thus widely lack power. White people are much safer around police because they have power in the legal system (generally speaking about the entire country); they can protect themselves. An African-American teenager complaining about police abuse isn't likely to get far. Women complaining about sexu…

> White people are much safer around police because they have power in the legal system (generally speaking about the entire country); they can protect themselves.

This is Qanon-level conspiracy thinking. By and large, white folks are safer around police because their interactions are qualitatively different from the interactions Black folks have with police.

To be sure, this includes quite a bit of anti-Black racism within police forces, but even that is better described as prejudice than "white folks have undue power in the legal system". Also, to be clear, the criminal justice system does tend to screw over marginalized Black communities in countless ways - and this impacts the kinds of interactions Black folks have w/ police, but even that is a matter of bad structural/institutional design, not white folks individually having too much power.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#340

Post by cortesoft »

dragonwriter wrote: post #232
cortesoft wrote: post #229

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When I was in a jury pool for a murder trial, I remember being shocked at how many people raised their hand when the question of whether they had personal experience with murder was asked. I figured barely anyone would raise their hand, but so many people had either had a close family member murdered, or were themselves accused of murder at some point. I really realized how sheltered my life has been.

People lie to get out of jury duty especially trials expected to be long and/or shocking.

I am sure it happens, but I feel like a lot of people say they would lie but when it comes down to it and a very serious judge is asking you from the bench, I bet fewer lie than who say they would.

They also don't mess around with jury duty... one of our jurors went missing on the walk from the jury gathering spot to the courtroom, and the judge was PISSED. Sent the bailiff looking for them to hold them in contempt.

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