The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study • Hacker News Board

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#171

Post by Mezzie » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:16 PM UTC

tomcam wrote: post #33

Can testify it does a number on male development too

I'd be interested to see this study repeated with male victims. I think each sex has its own issues when sexually victimized:

- Females, of course, can get pregnant, and our assaults are more likely to be physically painful.

- Males have zero social support and are far more stigmatized for being victimized, and they also have less of a support network/are more isolated than females on average. They also have fewer resources available since sexual assault is seen as only happening to females. Fewer shelters, hotlines, etc.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#172

Post by MrLeap » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:17 PM UTC

kazinator wrote: post #152

kmonsen wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you remove any jurors with history of abuse, do you not remove all the people that have life experience that could be relevant? With a jury of only lets say strong white males that have never been abused or abuse adjacent, but have had several experience where they felt woman didn't give them enough respect are we that would seem a lot worse to me. Obviously this sounds like an extreme example, but the reality is…

I think the whole concept of random citizens being pulled in for jury duty is idiotic. Jurors should be professionals who are trained in being jurors: who, for one thing, thoroughly understand topics in critical reasoning such as fallacies, and cognitive biases. They should be properly paid, and so are not sitting there on a Saturday morning, socking it to the defendant out of spite for being dragged out of their reg…

A professional Jury opens up avenues for corruption.

Maybe someday we can simulate human brains well enough to run the markovs on governance ideas to see if it's worth it.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#173

Post by zozbot234 » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:18 PM UTC

Mezzie wrote: post #160

zozbot234 wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mike Pence rule. Don't ever be alone with a vulnerable person without a neutral third party being present, it wreaks havoc on the threat-detection instinct. As the saying goes, "you're not paranoid if someone really is out to get you."

He asked how to make things easier for his vulnerable coworkers, not how to cover his ass. Honestly, my suggestion would be to be open about your own experiences and the impact they've had on you. (Not necessarily abuse, but just offhand comments like 'oh, it's silly but I can't stand yelling because my dad yelled a lot' or 'I don't drink because my family's had issues with it', etc.) Be open and clear that a.) you d…

> Honestly, my suggestion would be to be open about your own experiences and the impact they've had on you.

I'd imagine that many people would disagree with this. Dwelling on people's supposed 'weirdness' is not a healthy attitude (least of all when the 'weirdness' is our own) and would not be seen as "open" or "accepting" by many, but more of a signal of entitlement. If you think that the other person would benefit from something, just behave accordingly without dwelling on it, and people will hopefully realize that they can ask you for these things with no fuss.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#174

Post by naasking » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:20 PM UTC

ClumsyPilot wrote: post #97

fullstop wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife was summoned for jury duty, and the case had to do with sexual abuse. At jury selection time they ask if a prospective juror would have difficulty being impartial because of the nature of the case. If you were uncomfortable discussing the matter, you could ask to be taken aside to discuss without the others in the room hearing it. Out of a few dozen people, seven women left the room to explain why they could…

If we are removing all jurors who have been abused because they are 'not impartial', aren't we left with a collection of people who are totally ignorant? The jury has to judge how a reasonable person would act in a certain situation, who is lying and who is telling the truth. Off one end, we have victim blamind and rapists walking free, off another end, uk had "serial liar" who invented false rape allegations and sen…

> The jury has to judge how a reasonable person would act in a certain situation, who is lying and who is telling the truth.

And they should do this by weighing the evidence impartially, not emotionally.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#175

Post by User23 » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:21 PM UTC

s1artibartfast wrote: post #142

lmkg wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Apparently something similar happened when X-Rays started becoming routine. Doctors X-raying kids saw evidence that so many of them had a history of broken bones from abuse. It took a while for the medical community as a whole to acknowledge that widespread child abuse was actually occurring, and longer to wrangle with the idea that it was something that was within their mandate as doctors to do something about. http…

There is a similar social issue waiting to blow up regarding genetic screening. Estimates are that 10-15% of children are from infidelity

I believe that's the rate for people who seek out a paternity test, which is to say are already suspicious. The overall population nonpaternity rate is about 3%[1].

As an aside, obstetricians often notice nonpaternity because of the child having an impossible blood type for the putative father. The ones I've spoken to prefer to stay silent when they notice it.

[1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19320216/

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#176

Post by Mezzie » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:23 PM UTC

nobodyofnote wrote: post #169

LNSY wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

same. My abuse was very early, which it tends to be for men. My abusers weren't removed from my life until I was six, and even then were brought back over and over again. I am 40. I became a successful software developer. Then I finally couldn't ignore what happened to me. It was a brutal 3 years of therapy and trying to find my way out of the emotional pain I felt. I am just now getting my career on track, but I am…

Thank you very much for sharing this. Me too. Like yours, mine occurred early. Like you, I was exposed to my abuser many times afterward. As a boy, I carried my shame in silence, and learned early to dislike and avoid extended family gatherings, masking my avoidance in a blanket of "family sucks/is boring" cynicism. As an early teen entering puberty, I grew increasingly disturbed about had happened. I tried to force…

> I now have children who I love with all my heart. I cannot fathom inflicting such suffering upon them - or anyone else, for that matter. I will never be able to entrust them to the care of close family or friends. It's a constant internal struggle when they ask about sleepovers with friends. Such trivial things as "going over to someone's house" trigger immense uncertainty and fear, which I do my best to not burden my children with. I don't know if I will ever truly be able to shed the thick cloak of cynicism - largely a defense mechanism - that has and continues to impede my ability to relate meaningfully to the world and the people around me.

My heart aches because you sound so much like my mother.

What I will say is that as her child, one thing I appreciated so much is that I never had to worry if my parents would believe me if something happened. Your kids will have you always in their corner and that makes such, such, such a difference. So much of my mother's turmoil is related to her mother not believing her + the victim-blaming. You're helping and shielding your kids just by being who you are, even if you don't want to worry them.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#177

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:24 PM UTC

SamoyedFurFluff wrote: post #158

paganel wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> In his experience, amongst pregnant teenagers (17 and younger) about 10% were pregnant by their own fathers/brothers. I refuse to believe that. I mean, yeah, the man had direct contact with such cases and probably had been in the field for tens of years while I'm just a computer programmer but I still refuse to believe it.

I know it is probably shocking and supremely disgusting to realize but it is important to validate when people are victims of abuse, because they’re already traumatized. It’s even worse when people try to pretend it doesn’t happen or refuse to believe it happens to the extent it does because it’s like being victimized a second time: not only is your body taken from you but your experiences are denied from you too.

[deleted]

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#178

Post by fiestaman » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:26 PM UTC

chefandy wrote: post #115

ascar wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While that story might be intimidating I can't help but think it's statistical nonsense and discredits the professors integrity. Starting from the assumption that general population numbers apply to a group of law students (I assume that he doesn't have statistics about rape among law students) on to the assumption that there is a 1 to 1 relationship between rape victims and rapists. I would assume there to be more v…

It sounds like the professor made it clear she was speaking in terms of population averages. So unless you can find empirical evidence that those statistics don't apply to that slice of the population, then there's absolutely no problem with what she said. She didn't say "15 of the men in this class are rapists." Law students aren't learning to be statisticians, epidemiologists, or policy wonks. Emotionally moving pe…

The odds that a group of 100 law students would perfectly represent the overall population are astronomical.

You cannot extend population-level averages to a group of people without first proving that group is representative of the population.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#179

Post by kmonsen » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:27 PM UTC

tomp wrote: post #144

kmonsen wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you remove any jurors with history of abuse, do you not remove all the people that have life experience that could be relevant? With a jury of only lets say strong white males that have never been abused or abuse adjacent, but have had several experience where they felt woman didn't give them enough respect are we that would seem a lot worse to me. Obviously this sounds like an extreme example, but the reality is…

I'm a white male who's never been sexually abused but I can clearly see that's wrong. This, and being more objective / less emotional (due to not seeing it personally) would probably make me a better juror in such a case than someone who's personally experienced it.

I don't know, I am also a white male and I feel I cannot understand how abuse really works. Of course this might just be me being dense, doesn't say anything about you or anyone else.

Re: The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longitudinal study

#180

Post by busterarm » Thu, Jan 13, 2022, 7:31 PM UTC

javajosh wrote: post #69

tomcam wrote: post #33

Can testify it does a number on male development too

Interestingly, there's another child comment, flagged and dead [edit: it has been resurrected], that says simply, "Sh...no-one cares about men." It's not a great comment, as it lacks substance, but it reflects something real and important. Sexual abuse is to women as police violence is to black people. These classes of people are affected more (far more - perhaps 2x?) than others, but that doesn't mean others aren't…

> The dead comment is right: no-one cares about men. I will go further and say that its a deeply evil thing, and I fear for my 2-year-old son. This is a real fear, not a construction, and it should be okay to share the concern in a public forum without being attacked for saying something I'm not. But I know it will happen, anyway, because you cannot fight the tide.

As men, our expected place in society is to contain our emotions. To be silent. Our traumas are not ours to share. The social costs of doing otherwise are unbearable. Society has no tolerance for our victimhood. ...The Audacity!

So yes, exactly. No one cares about men.