151–160 of 208 posts
6 years sober here. Most of the advice so far wouldn't have been much help when I first stopped drinking. It's honestly hard, and the first year or two won't be great. Boardgames and cafes are boring as fuck compared to getting drunk. Sure, rafting and cycling and other examples might fill up a Sunday afternoon, but they don't work for Friday night. Over time you adjust. I've made a few friends that don't drink. I ha…
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>You need a new group of friends, firstly. This is absolutely horrible advice. Alienating yourself from all of your friends simply because you don't want to drink the same things as them is not a good idea. If you don't want alcohol, then just don't drink it? I have been to many, many, many music festivals, parties, etc. and not drank anything. I can't imagine just exiling myself from all of my friends instead of sim…
Respectfully disagree. The best thing you can do to make meaningful personal change is to change your environment. This is pretty universal advice for people dealing with (either in themselves or others) abuse, addiction, etc. If people are drinking, it’s often in places catered to drinking as well, leaving not many other options. Being sober in those places is, frankly, boring.
As someone who doesn't drink this is 1000% true. I don't want to hang with the drinkers because it is boring as hell.
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Among primary English speakers, “alcoholic” almost always refers to abusive drinking. I can’t imagine using “alcoholic” to describe people who consume alcohol in moderation. And I am around a lot of teetotalers.
Yes, but using the singular signals a non-native speaker, and this is reinforced by using "couldn't" rather than "haven't [been able to]" in the third sentence. I think GP is on to something.
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OP explicitly calls his friends (and himself) an alcoholic. That implies a different dynamic than simply a group of friends who goes out and has a couple of drinks. Finding a new group of friends in that sort of situation is absolutely the correct move. Addicts do not let other addicts quit.
OP said "all my friends are alcoholic" not "all my friends are alcoholics". I read that as: all of my friends drink alcohol, not all of my friends are addicted to alcohol. If OP and all of his friends are alcohol addicted, then yeah: that's a medical problem and my advice doesn't apply, which I already said.
You need a new group of friends, firstly. It sucks to say, but people who need to drink to have fun will always drag you along that path. It doesn't matter if it's a night on the town, or a board game night, they will always want booze around. Also, they will probably pressure you to drink, because that's what gives them permission to. So find new people who don't drink. Do the normal things you would do, but without…
>You need a new group of friends, firstly. This is absolutely horrible advice. Alienating yourself from all of your friends simply because you don't want to drink the same things as them is not a good idea. If you don't want alcohol, then just don't drink it? I have been to many, many, many music festivals, parties, etc. and not drank anything. I can't imagine just exiling myself from all of my friends instead of sim…
If you like watersports, suggest doing soemthing like that. Or go to the gun range. Or go to an origami course together.
If no one suggests anything then to the bar it is. But there's a lot of options, but it requires active thinking/planning/doing from both parties.
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The OP stated they are an alcoholic. You don’t tell an addict, “hey, just stop doing drugs!” You have to change the environment.
Sounds like English is his second language.
Also, there aren't really that many actual alcoholics at 23. Actual alcoholism tends to take years to develop.
I have been to parties where someone brought a bottle of some health drink like kombucha. A lot of bars also make fancy virgin drinks. You can also get non-alcoholic beers.
As for non-alcoholic fun:
1. You can join or start a running club. After running we used to hangout in a pub. A few people drank, most just ate food.
2. Join rock climbing, hiking, kayaking, stand up paddle, or other such groups. In my experience though, drinking is big in such groups but they don't pressure anyone.
3. Food/restaurants instead of bars. Drinkers can still drink and non-drinkers can enjoy food.
4. Dog parks. There are some fun dog parks with restaurants, coffeeshops, and bars. Everytime I take my dog there, I meet new people.
5. Coffee shops. For more low key fun especially if you are bored at home. I had a few coffee shops that were my homebase. There were other regulars, and it was easy to start conversation with them.
Now that I have kids, we just hang out in parks or town center/shopping center areas. They usually have an area where kids can run around. A lot of parents grab a drink or coffee while they hangout with adults. I see a lot of young people hanging out there too.
You need a new group of friends, firstly. It sucks to say, but people who need to drink to have fun will always drag you along that path. It doesn't matter if it's a night on the town, or a board game night, they will always want booze around. Also, they will probably pressure you to drink, because that's what gives them permission to. So find new people who don't drink. Do the normal things you would do, but without…
>You need a new group of friends, firstly. This is absolutely horrible advice. Alienating yourself from all of your friends simply because you don't want to drink the same things as them is not a good idea. If you don't want alcohol, then just don't drink it? I have been to many, many, many music festivals, parties, etc. and not drank anything. I can't imagine just exiling myself from all of my friends instead of sim…