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The UX on this small child is terrible

mcsweeneys.net

91–100 of 366 posts

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The trouble we find is our v2 model, which we had hoped could have made improvements over v1, frequents the same unsavoury places that v1 did initially and continues to be compromised by the same vulnerabilities. It seems later versions are destined to make the same mistakes again. The only comfort though is that you have become accustomed to how to address the bug reports when they are filed. Fortunately our V2 has…

The maintenance of several products in different lifecycle phases is a huge issue for us. Different failure modes, different protocols for providing feedback, and different basic maintenance needs. For example, v1 requires the users to manage reading homework, the v2 requires bedtime stories, v3 requires diaper changes and milk, all simultaneously. This adds a lot of operational complexity for our already overwhelmed…

At least you’re working with versioned releases. I’ve recently acquired a new model and it’s definitely still in beta. There’s no documentation, conflicting user training and undefined behaviours everywhere. As soon as you discover workflows that meet your needs there appears to be a background update that while introducing new features, completely changes the behaviour of previous ones.

Oh and don’t get me started on the sleep mode, it’s more unreliable that a Linux laptop and plays this horrible wake sound with no clear way to disable it. From what I’ve read on support forums this is happening to other users too.

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#92

The things children are born not knowing is crazy. The pre-programming is limited ! You have to teach them how to blow their nose. "Don't eat your boogers." Holds finger out to me. I wipe it off. "Don't pick your nose, blow it instead. No, don't pick my nose either."

>The things children are born not knowing is crazy. The pre-programming is limited! You purchased the DIY version. With this version, you are expected to continuously update the programming. Most people seem to focus on higher level programming using a language of "ivy league".

I'm led to understand that the "Ivy League" tier is in fact not that popular due to the exorbitant subscription fees.

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#93

How do I get new features added to the roadmap? I’ve been asking for an “eat vegetables” interface without the “offer dessert in exchange” workaround for over a year, no response, yet in the same time frame I’ve seen things like “climb top-heavy bookshelf” and “unfurl entire toilet paper roll” deployed… who is asking for these features??

Can somebody explain the "won't eat vegetables" thing? The only place I've heard about this being in issue is in America.

I find that many western households don’t know how to cook vegetables. Often mushy and overcooked. I as an adult don’t enjoy eating that either.

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can somebody explain the "won't eat vegetables" thing? The only place I've heard about this being in issue is in America.

My kid (~2 years) prefers to eat food they like the taste of most. Turns out that they prefer the sweet tastes of biscuits and even bananas etc to broccoli and carrots. They'll whinge and whine about being hungry, so you offer them some peas or avocado or something and they will literally push it out of the way, look you straight in the eye, and tell you about how hungry they are (...but not hungry enough to eat the…

So do they not class carrots as sweet at all? Is this related to kids hating olives at all?

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#95
post #66

Just wait until the automatic over-the-air updates kick in and the Small Child becomes Teenage Child without your consent. All your favorite Small Child features are now buried 5-layers deep under confusing menus that are apparently different on each version. I found it under: Late Night -> Food -> Sugary Foods -> Milkshakes -> Make Your Own -> Enable Small Child Fun Mode

It is the hamburger menu still I take it.

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#96

How do I get new features added to the roadmap? I’ve been asking for an “eat vegetables” interface without the “offer dessert in exchange” workaround for over a year, no response, yet in the same time frame I’ve seen things like “climb top-heavy bookshelf” and “unfurl entire toilet paper roll” deployed… who is asking for these features??

Someone deployed the "public punch in the balls and run off laughing" feature on mine. I can even get rid of it, I was told I needed to keep it longer than 4 years. The "throw trantum when not allowed to eat broken glass" feature is really annoying.

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#97
post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In the US most peanut butters include added sugar so your kid may have hacked your system.

Shout-out to Adams peanut butter which is delicious and has zero sugar.

Some Adams trivia:

- It's owned by Smucker's. I normally dislike anything from Smucker's, but Adams is a nice exception.

- If you get the giant jar from Costco, the oil separation is a significant issue. There's a simple solution: dump it all into a big mixing bowl (with the help of a silicone spatula), mix it, and pour it back into the jar. I did it last time I bought it and it was worth the 10 minutes I spent.

- Once it's mixed well, if you give it a quick stir every time you use it, the oil doesn't separate again.

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The things children are born not knowing is crazy. The pre-programming is limited! You purchased the DIY version. With this version, you are expected to continuously update the programming. Most people seem to focus on higher level programming using a language of "ivy league".

I'm led to understand that the "Ivy League" tier is in fact not that popular due to the exorbitant subscription fees.

Right, people may focus on "ivy league" as it is the "it" option, but most people have to settle for "state college" which is much more widely available. however, subscription fees for this option have steadily been increasing as well.

Either way, you are expected to keep the programming updated at your expense. Without it, your Small Child unit might fall behind other versions and become a negative influence on other Small Child units.

Re: The UX on this small child is terrible

#100

I have a slightly ageing model (my co-developer is adamant there will be no upgrades, please do not suggest) and my problem is that it appears to have defaulted to ICT time (we are at GMT +11). I hear it performing operations well into the early morning, but booting from a cold start any earlier than 9am leads to all sorts of unexpected behaviour and system errors.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?
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