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Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

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Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#141

Post by throwaway984393 »

The only way to be happy from your career is to get paid for what brings you joy. If your current job doesn't bring you joy, ask yourself what brings you joy, and make that your job. Maybe it's music. Maybe it's dance. Maybe it's walking in nature. Maybe it's painting Warhammer figures. Whatever it is, just figure out how you can get paid enough to do it that you can live off that. That may not lead to a big fat retirement account, or a boat, or even a house, but it will certainly get you on a path to happiness. It's the things we do and the relationships we cultivate that bring happiness. Not the things we have or can get.

This is probably the best time in history to be connected to people around the world who will pay you to do whatever it is you love to do. All you have to do is connect the dots.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#142

Post by andreilys »

CodeGlitch wrote: post #118
suriyaG wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a twenty three year old. I'm curious to know more. why take on responsibility through having children? Why not pickup any other type of responsibilty? like, community service, tutoring/helping kids from less fortunate places or in the worst case even Picking up more responsibility from work? Is it more of a genetic thing where it makes the pain of responsibility more pleasurable? I'm even more curious to know if y…

> why take on responsibility through having children? Why not pickup any other type of responsibilty? like, community service, tutoring/helping kids from less fortunate places or in the worst case even Picking up more responsibility from work? The other day I was flicking through my notepad in my home office and found hand written notes from my 6 year old daughter saying how much she loved me. Yes kids are a massive…

I'm not sure you'd get quite the same from the things you listed, perhaps a little...?

The note from your daughter, while sweet, can also come from those you help. For example, sponsoring a childrens school in India, or mentoring an orphan through a Big Brother program.

I think the main point here is you are in service by helping others, instead of focusing on yourself.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#143

Post by simonbarker87 »

jen729w wrote: post #130
bitlax wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And for those who are able, getting married and having children will tend to bring even more fulfillment than becoming a clown.

I’ll just chip in as someone who has never ever wanted kids, who met a lovely girl who was so thankful to also meet someone who has never ever wanted kids. So just because you’re ‘able’ doesn’t mean that you should. Just wanted to put this here in case others think they’re weird for really, really not wanting kids. You’re not.

Upvoting this as I’ve always been this way and I’m noticing many friends hit their mid thirties saying “oh I don’t want kids and it feels so good, like a weight has been lifted”

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#144

Post by markus_zhang »

I guess no. I've trying to jump through a linked list of job positions to reach the ultimate objective but so far I'm pretty far. I agree with a fellow commenter that a job is just a job but I recommend you seek what you really love and turn it into a career.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#145

Post by chronofar »

suriyaG wrote: post #86
mattgreenrocks wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My twenty-year-old self wasn't ready to hear this, but it's absolutely true. Fulfillment follows from meaning, and meaning flows from responsibilities we bear.

As a twenty three year old. I'm curious to know more. why take on responsibility through having children? Why not pickup any other type of responsibilty? like, community service, tutoring/helping kids from less fortunate places or in the worst case even Picking up more responsibility from work? Is it more of a genetic thing where it makes the pain of responsibility more pleasurable? I'm even more curious to know if y…

Because the evolutionarily programmed rewards from parenting will typically outweigh the rewards from general altruism. Your child becomes the most important thing in the world by default, which can flip all sorts of joy and fulfillment triggers in your brain that are difficult to flip in that way via other means. Having children is your genetic purpose, so much of our biology is driven to that end, thus it would figure to provide uniquely strong rewards.

I say this as someone who does not have kids and has no plan to have kids as I don't care to pay the immense costs required, so maybe I shouldn't even be replying to this, but I tend to see the same sorts of replies to these sorts of questions which I think put a bit of extra gloss that obfuscates the true motivators a bit.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#147

Post by the_only_law »

throwawayboise wrote: post #107
the_only_law wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This is actually an explicit requirement if you want to get a PhD, which I've found to be a valuable way of opening up fulfilling career opportunities that would otherwise not be available to me. As someone who’s considering getting a PhD, how do you know if you’re capable of completing it. I hear a lot that academia is a lot of bullshit and that you don’t have to be particularly competent to get one. But at the sa…

Ph.D. research is not novel research in the sense you may be thinking. It's generally just exploring in depth a very focused issue or question in an already well-understood field. The work isn't necessarily very intellectually demanding but does require some academic discipline in the sense of keeping good notes, documenting experiments and results, and citing supporting or contributing work. Also whether the researc…

> I would add though, that if you only have a high school education I am not sure how or where you would get into a Ph.D. program. It may be possible, but I have never heard of it.

I plan on beginning an undergrad degree next year. The reason a PhD is in my long term vision is because I’d like to do industrial R&D in a certain field

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#148

Post by travisporter »

optymizer wrote: post #106
suriyaG wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a twenty three year old. I'm curious to know more. why take on responsibility through having children? Why not pickup any other type of responsibilty? like, community service, tutoring/helping kids from less fortunate places or in the worst case even Picking up more responsibility from work? Is it more of a genetic thing where it makes the pain of responsibility more pleasurable? I'm even more curious to know if y…

I have two young children. I'm objectively less happy than I used to be, mostly because I lost the freedom to do whatever I wanted and the time to do whatever I wanted, on top of gaining all of these new stressful responsibilities, and I've always liked to travel, be productive and create things. That said, when I look back at how I was using that freedom and time, it wasn't very efficient, but even if I optimized my…

I wish I could hug you. This is exactly how I feel but didn’t have the words to express it.

Kids take up so much time that I often wonder why -> how did I spend time before kids -> why am I not that much less productive now -> awww -> everything’s gonna be all right.

But that being said it’s absolutely okay to not want kids and be extremely happy with your life. If only there was a shareware parenthood.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#149

Post by chronofar »

ReactiveJelly wrote: post #134
curiousllama wrote: post #13

Lots of good advice here. One additional thing to consider: why is your mind on stress from work? How’s your marriage? How are your parents doing? Your kids? Who are some of your best friends? How often are you physically active? Do you often go for walks, or play tennis, or garden? How well are you sleeping? Do you love your mattress? Any habits you’ve struggled to kick lately? Conversely, any hobbies you’ve really…

I don't have friends. This is probably why I've struggled to maintain mental health and happiness for several years now. I just don't have any intention to fix it, because the fixes look difficult.

This appears a strange mindset. You see the issue, you see solutions to the issue, but you imagine these solutions are too difficult? Are they more difficult than the mental health and happiness struggles you've been having?

I certainly get anxiety especially when unpracticed in the subtleties of forming meaningful connections, so I understand what's likely holding you back. But I think it's likely important to realize your rationalization here doesn't make a lot of sense.

Re: Ask HN: How to optimize your career for happiness?

#150

Post by [deleted] »

thanatos519 wrote: post #35

Use your career/job to support your life, then get a life. Become an artist, author, clown, or build some awesome technical system because you want it to exist. GPL it. Don't ask for anything, especially not happiness, from your "career". I put it in quotes because it's conceptually bankrupt. https://www.roystonguest.com/blog/why-happiness-is-not-a-des...

[deleted]
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