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Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

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Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#221

Post by pcmoney »

3np wrote: post #203
pcmoney wrote: post #147

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not every quote about Bezos/Amazon is an opportunity for an off topic virtue signaling “dunk”. If they are breaking the law lets prosecute them. If there is a law you want changed vote for a legislator to back it. If you don’t like them, don’t buy from them. This isn’t complicated.

It sounds like you’re saying that ethical/moral responsibility does not exist outside of what’s required by law in any given jurisdiction and the only venue for change is lobbying legislators? That it’s OK to do anything imaginable as long as it’s not explicitly prohibited by law? If so I hope you reconsider one day.

no

I am saying hijacking a comment on decision making to leverage a tragedy in order to make some thoughtless “amazon bad” claim is kinda weird.

There is no right to your phone at work. Should there be? I dunno, probably not, but if you feel there should be then vote for it.

Did Amazon do “the right thing” I dunno but that reply isn’t bringing any clarity to that discussion either.

I agree we should have moral/ethical duties. Unfortunately society has degraded to moral relativism mixed with tribal absolutism. So what that would even mean these days is fraught

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#222

Post by wruza »

When you’re a ~linear developer (regardless of seniority level) working on tasks and issues without time limits, you only know your own craft and seal every hole the boat may theoretically have. But when you see the whole business picture, and how dynamic it is, or when that is pushed down to you chaotically and unfiltered, i.e. not reworded as your CTO+ would do carefully, the anxiety of vagueness and indecision may come in. E.g. there is a feature which has to be done “yesterday” and “will probably live for only few months”, so it’s obvious to just hack it into the code. But as a tech guy you know all the implications of this way in the future. But as a CTO or a guy who sees more, you also feel this “yesterday need”. These two facts usually mix together into shitty trade-offs, shitty side being pushed from other CxOs.

If this seems to be the case, the solution is to care less of that chaos and care more of your developer’s craft, which you seem to still have more affinity to. It is your role. Push the anxiety back to where it belongs by doing/planning things the right-most possible way and negotiating it to the forces which drive it ahead “like crazy”.

There is a balance between growing like crazy and turning all limbs into cancerous tumors. You may find peace of mind in finding it and messaging it back to where imbalances originate from.

I would ask myself in this positon what do I want as a pro (hard one), whose responsibilities I take on me without profiting from it (not only money-wise), make it clear what will happen to me, to the company and to the next guy if I just leave, what are both good and bad sides of how things work now, think which points of that list should be fixed, which should be added, in the circumstances, and evaluate possible outcomes. I mean not which I can “live with” today, but which should [not] be there strategically. And finally, I’d detect the source(s) of trouble and message them publicly-directly about the structured issues from that board. It’s a huge reflective/collective work, which would serve good both me and the company.

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#223

Post by ipaddr »

heurist wrote: post #142
sam0x17 wrote: post #93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I had one job where there was a lot of technical debt, but my manager did not respect me and my colleagues had what was basically a "learned helplessness" attitude. So I'd go around trying really hard to make things better, but everyone responded to me like I was just crazy or naive or didn't know what I was talking about. This is the sad truth at way too many orgs, even YC funded ones. Several times I have come in…

Any tips or lessons learned on working with the non-technical folks? This is a struggle I am dealing with and am constantly trying to improve in. They want to do things their way, which might work okay but is inefficient and not in line with the technology goals of the company. Hard to wrangle them - they run off and do things without talking to me or the people in my department, not considering the plans technology…

As a CEO you would do this.

At the department level. Split them by probing for rifts between departments. Prioritize one group's project over another. Use department lack progress as dirt on that side's leadership. Get leader replaced and bring friendly face. Now both sides are friendly and open to better policies.

As a manager pretending to be CTO let them do what they want or you will be seen as the problem. Look for power shifts between departments and ally with the correct side. If your company wanted a strong CTO they would have hired or promoted someone. If you want to be in a position to be a strong CTO make powerful friends or get promoted and gather experience and win some awards.

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#224

Post by rramadass »

My sympathies. You are merely suffering from work overload and a little-bit of burnout + "Imposter Syndrome".

First off, DO NOT RESIGN from your post of CTO. Your Experience, Knowledge and Seniority is what got you that role, so no need to give up something which you have earned and which can be made more manageable by changing perspectives, work habits and learning.

The basic problem is that as you went up the career ladder you took up more load without shedding any. A CTO does not have to be a Super-Duper Developer (there is simply not enough time) but needs to know enough to understand the product/service. The CTO is a "Technology Strategist" i.e one who can understand Technology deeply, see how it can affect Domains/Markets and how to marry the two. You need to be somebody who can connect the dots and push towards a goal. The view is overarching and not local i.e. you "see the forest and not just the trees".

So dial down your desire to be a "nitty-gritty Developer", understand broadly what every role (IC, Tech. Lead, Architect etc.) entails, interact with them all and only take responsibility for the "Global Company Strategy".

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#225

Post by rramadass »

cwitty88 wrote: post #12
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #7

CTO and developer separate into distinct roles as a company grows. How big is this company? Is it a small company with few developers where you hold the CTO title because you're a founding developer or the most senior developer? If so, you might be missing the reassurance that came from your previous life where you had a manager to check your work, peers to review it, and feedback from people who didn't report to you…

The company is growing in all facets. We added 17 engineers this year when we previously had a total team of like 10. You hit the nail on the head though, I got the role because I was the first engineer and employee at the company. In no way am I a great CTO, just lucky timing. I'm actually stepping down as CTO and becoming a developer again because I am not a good manager, that I know for sure. I think I need to be…

>I'm actually stepping down as CTO and becoming a developer again because I am not a good manager, that I know for sure.

My suggestion is, DON'T.

Please see my other comment in this thread for some suggestions. Opportunities like this do not come often and it is a mistake to give up what you have achieved without a great deal of deliberate thought.

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#226

Post by devwastaken »

anyonecancode wrote: post #11

It does sound like burnout, and also like not being in the right environment (which contributes to burn out). I had one job where there was a lot of technical debt, but my manager did not respect me and my colleagues had what was basically a "learned helplessness" attitude. So I'd go around trying really hard to make things better, but everyone responded to me like I was just crazy or naive or didn't know what I was…

I blame the terrible education system and software hiring practices. Graduating students don't know how to build software in a team, businesses do not properly onboard, and hiring practices are like an exam that has nothing to do with the work being done. Companies are becoming more averse to hiring those that actually learned software and didn't just fluff their resume with degrees and bootcamps because less engineers are doing the hiring.

Those that didn't have to work for it sit back and enjoy the paycheck while getting by with the minimum amount of work. To everyone involved work can just be a free payday, if the product fails they'll move elsewhere. Or if the product is too big to fail it's guaranteed anyways. Actual engineers are a rarity, and these companies don't like them because they point out how management has been milking the project.

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#227

Post by ekns »

gcmac wrote: post #159
bgroat wrote: post #56

Is it possible that you're not making the "right" moves because you're the CTO? Leadership is hard and it's hard because you're making bayesian calculations on suboptimal choices. Almost by definition. Say a Jr. dev has a problem that they can't solve. They kick it to an intermediate. The intermediate can't solve it so they kick it up to a senior. The senior can see a couple of solutions, but want's to run it past th…

Reminds me of this excerpt from an Obama interview: > When problems reached him in the White House, he said, it was because they were unsolvable. He generally was being asked to choose between two bad options. “By definition, if it was an easily solvable problem, or even a modestly difficult but solvable problem, it would not reach me, because, by definition, somebody else would have solved it,” he said. “So the only…

How can it be "by definition"? Is the president defined as someone who picks unsolvable problems? Are the subordinates defined as people who solve every single solvable problem?

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#228

Post by ekns »

ekns wrote: post #227
gcmac wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reminds me of this excerpt from an Obama interview: > When problems reached him in the White House, he said, it was because they were unsolvable. He generally was being asked to choose between two bad options. “By definition, if it was an easily solvable problem, or even a modestly difficult but solvable problem, it would not reach me, because, by definition, somebody else would have solved it,” he said. “So the only…

How can it be "by definition"? Is the president defined as someone who picks unsolvable problems? Are the subordinates defined as people who solve every single solvable problem?

Ah I've resolved my long-standing question about this phrase. All this time I thought it was only used like in mathematics, but not so!

https://www.lexico.com/definition/by_definition

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#229

Post by freewilly1040 »

ghiculescu wrote: post #206
optymizer wrote: post #65

How are you the CTO and a developer? If you're coding features as the CTO your company must be really small so it doesn't really matter if the code isn't 'perfect'. If the company is big enough where people have the time to call you out on shitty code and think they can do better - awesome! Let them code it, and you can focus on technical direction. Tell them what to do. Delegate. Let them write the code - it's what…

This and the comment below are super broad advice that you absolutely don't need to listen to. I'm the CTO at 100+ person company and write code about 50% of the time. Do the work you enjoy most. As long as customers are happy and you keep finding more of them, the rest will work itself out.

Are you sure your time is really best spent coding? Just because you are able to do it doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for your subordinates or company.

Re: Ask HN: I've lost faith in myself as a developer, how do I get it back?

#230

Post by bullen »

bgroat wrote: post #56

Is it possible that you're not making the "right" moves because you're the CTO? Leadership is hard and it's hard because you're making bayesian calculations on suboptimal choices. Almost by definition. Say a Jr. dev has a problem that they can't solve. They kick it to an intermediate. The intermediate can't solve it so they kick it up to a senior. The senior can see a couple of solutions, but want's to run it past th…

This is true for all responsible people, the way I tackle this is to try and predict the future.

Recently I had to implement interpolation in my game engine, before looking at that I tried laying out animations in memory and noticed a 3x speedup. So when it was time to decide I took the seemingly coward route of exporting animations in 120 FPS instead, hitting disk ×5 and RAM ×2 but saving CPU ×3.

Time will tell if this was the right choice, ie. will games render at >120FPS. The debt was moved from technical to energy saving, from complex to simple, from now to the future (since exporting in 120 FPS takes a little more time every animation that goes into the game)

I'm going to keep investing in low power because that is more guaranteed than everything else.

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