141–149 of 149 posts
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Not sure why I get downvoted. Maybe it's full of rainbow snowflakes.
I think the joke is just old, if the joke you were going for is the "I identify as an apache helicopter" type jokes. It's just old and not interesting now, it's been 5+ years of those jokes and they don't have a bite anymore.
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I think people just not think about people that don't matter to them.
Well it's not that much better. Being irrelevant and being hated/laughed at are the same thing essentially. Meaning they are both something else compared to the desired outcome: being loved and respected.
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Well it's not that much better. Being irrelevant and being hated/laughed at are the same thing essentially. Meaning they are both something else compared to the desired outcome: being loved and respected.
It's not and context matters. Passerby are generally irrelevant to other passerby.
When you are in a super-optimal and franly desirable situation you are never just a passerby and thus you are never irrelevant.
Jennifer Lawrance, for example is never classified as a passerby and thus she's never irrelevant.
In response to your earlier comment, say the orfer of preference is the follwing:
1) Being loved and cheered by a crowd
2) Being ignored by a crowd
3) Being hated and actively threatened by a crowd.
Irrlevancy might be at no.2 , but it's notorious that second place is the last place
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It might bother you, but extroversion and introversion are both ends of a rigorously documented personality trait, one of the Big Five. Everyone, (literally) is in one camp or another. Particularly stable people will sit around the median boundary, but will ultimately conform, even if slightly, to one camp or another.
Yes, well documented in psychology, a field whose professionals even acknowledge as a psuedoscience, if a useful one. >Particularly stable people will sit around the median boundary. Ok, so you're saying it is more than just a boolean then?
Are you suggesting that all of psychology, its documented research and phenomena is best dismissed because you decree it a pseudoscience? This is fallacious at best.
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So you are suggesting I should be making small talk to reassure people?
The interesting thing, and I tested this extensively years ago in an attempt to be more social, is that it takes very little . Most people don't care about you talking , as much as being given the right signals. And most people love to be the ones talking . Here's an "exercise": Next time you're in a shop, get your wallet ready before you get to the cashier. At the cashiers most people look down at their wallet or at…
Usually I'd rather be neutral and anonymous and not have to stand and listen. Of course this isn't ideal in a work environment, but honestly there's very few people that I actually enjoy listening to, and even less that I enjoy talking about myself to. I'm a private person and at work that becomes difficult.
Technically introversion refers to people whose dominant cognitive function[1] has an “internal model” of the world, vs. extraversion where the world is the model. Introverts need down time because it takes processing time to update the internal model in response to stimuli. Extraverts don’t like being alone because when the world around them is empty “nothing is happening”. It’s not the enjoyment of company or solit…
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The interesting thing, and I tested this extensively years ago in an attempt to be more social, is that it takes very little . Most people don't care about you talking , as much as being given the right signals. And most people love to be the ones talking . Here's an "exercise": Next time you're in a shop, get your wallet ready before you get to the cashier. At the cashiers most people look down at their wallet or at…
The biggest problem for me is I hate wasting time listening to people prattle on. I am aware that I can befriend people, most of the time I don't want to because I don't expect more than endless boring information about their drive to work or the weather or whatever. Usually I'd rather be neutral and anonymous and not have to stand and listen. Of course this isn't ideal in a work environment, but honestly there's ver…
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I must add that this feeling "people judging you" is mostly YOU. That is we THINK what other people are thinking, as we don't have direct link to their brains. The intensity of this feeling is related to your personal feeling of your self worth, which again doesn't have much to do with any realistic criteria. From my personal experience people love you, find you interesting, miss you when you are not there, etc. much…
> The intensity of this feeling is related to your personal feeling of your self worth Calling none sense. IT'S NOT IN YOUR HEAD! There are objective levels to it. Say I work in film making and specialize on actors wardrobes , I can make a good living, perhaps even reach a 7 figures net worth. Fast forward award seasons comes around, during the afterparties everybody wants to talk and interact with the stars. Even if…
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The biggest problem for me is I hate wasting time listening to people prattle on. I am aware that I can befriend people, most of the time I don't want to because I don't expect more than endless boring information about their drive to work or the weather or whatever. Usually I'd rather be neutral and anonymous and not have to stand and listen. Of course this isn't ideal in a work environment, but honestly there's ver…
I get that. I feel much the same myself. It's a tradeoff between what you're willing to sacrifice for the sake of building a relationship with someone. For me, experimenting with it was helpful in that it taught me that on one hand I didn't want to be social most of the time - I at one point thought that if I just got better at it I'd learn to like it, but I don't. On the other hand, being better at it did make it ea…
Knowing how to appear sociable is an important skill, I can do it but find it quite mentally draining.
I suspect that I just don't think like most people, I prefer deep one-on-one conversations to superficial stuff.
Having said that, I do understand the paradox that I will never get to the deep conversations without having to get through the small talk with someone I don't know well, but at that stage I don't even know if they're the kind of person who is capable of or even wants to have a deep conversation at all... I haven't worked that one out yet.
I think it's because of time pressure. I don't ever seem to be able to find enough time for myself as it is. I have much more "free" time than most people, but my hobbies seem to automatically and seamlessly fill whatever time I have! Most people don't seem to be ever become so focused on their hobbies, except people on the internet with their super-detailed sites on niche topics, but I never seem to meet them, or perhaps I just never elicit their obsession out of them.
If I had unlimited time with no responsibilities, maybe I would feel like I have more time to chat with others, but that's not reality, and at least up until now I have not once ever felt like I have as much free time as I'd want.
Just rambling now, but it boggles my mind how anyone could ever get a chance to feel bored with so much interesting stuff in this world.
>It can also help in being able to at least lessen the pain to get better at redirecting the conversation to be the least annoying possible.
Haha, this resonated with me.
I will try to focus on redirection rather than avoidance strategies. Thanks for that.
I read a quote recently, "Be curious, not judgemental", and I will try to do that.