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Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
331–340 of 344 posts
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#332Earlier quoted context omitted.
Well how can you find something you like without giving it a serious try first? I've been playing guitar for 16 years. I'm not pro-level, but I'm as good as I want to be and I love it. Did I love it from the get go? Hell no. I actually hated guitar for the entire first year of practice, but I stuck with it and as I got better I eventually developed a deep love for it. Trying new things, REALLY trying for long enough…
That's the thing though, the number of things to try is unlimited, there is a large opportunity cost to really trying pretty much anything, and it's not at all clear a priori which things will be worth it.
You know the saying..
People say that they "don't want to invest a decade in something", but fail to grasp that they are invested a decade in something (perhaps watching youtube) -- regardless if they decide to focus it or not.
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#333"Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things. On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a ver…
> And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Nope, everyone did not. That's a good story to make yourself feel better, but Neil's personal psychological problems don't spread to everyone. People who feel accomplished due to their accomplishments exist.
No individual human being has the psycological makeup to completely feel the full accomplishments of Armstrong, so that is something to consider.
OTOH far more common is the exaggerated ego where people feel accomplished for things that did not actually happen.
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#334I'll be brutally honest because I used to be in your situation. Each and every person you admire has poured thousands of hours into some project. For some that's a degree. For some it's a game they wrote, for others it's company that they've started... Have you done that? Spent thousands of hours on a single thing? Focused on a project long enough to actually see results? I'm guessing not, because if you would have t…
What's interesting is that most of these people didn't start with OP's mindset. They didn't say "I want to pour thousands of hours into this one thing until I see results so I can compare myself against other people and feel satisfied." Starting from that mindset is already putting you behind. Doing something because you love doing it and not because you have any expectations will get you there faster, but only if yo…
This is it! I guess often people don't realize how much work it is gonna be when they start. If they did they would have never started working on it. But they may actually like the work or want to improve and learn something new while working on it, maybe the work even gives them a meaning of live. They have an imagination of the final thing and can't wait to see it done. So they work and work and work until they finish it. Days are too short for them, sometimes they are so hooked up they are forgetting to drink enough or eat. That applies to musicians too. First they need a talent (prerequisite) and then they have to play the instrument all days long, repeat the same song over and over again and improve. I think it is not "normal" and most people don't have patience for that. Some people have bad environment and are being distracted too much (by family, noise, social media).
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#335Jeez, dude, don't be so hard on yourself! Comparing yourself to other people is a losing game - no matter how awesome you are you'll always find people that are "better" than you at whatever, as they would to, unless you're Michael Jordan. Find things you like to do that make you happy and do those things. That works for me. I'm a college drop-out/software developer with skeletons in my closet just like you.
>> Comparing yourself to other people is a losing game - no matter how awesome you are you'll always find people that are "better" than you
This negative mindset may actually hurt you! Your subconscious listens to this.
In they past I used to do the opposite. I was learning game programming and when I learned something cool I was imagining that by learning this or that I started being smarter than hundreds or thousands of others my age.
So instead of trying to be top-of-the world I could never be I was simply leaving those not willing to improve behind.
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#336Earlier quoted context omitted.
> And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Nope, everyone did not. That's a good story to make yourself feel better, but Neil's personal psychological problems don't spread to everyone. People who feel accomplished due to their accomplishments exist.
No individual human being has the psycological makeup to completely feel the full accomplishments of Armstrong, so that is something to consider. OTOH far more common is the exaggerated ego where people feel accomplished for things that did not actually happen.
> No individual human being has the psychological makeup to completely feel the full accomplishments of Armstrong, so that is something to consider.
I don't understand how it contradicts "Armstrong had an impostor syndrome therefore comparing with his individual quirks is stupid". We all sometimes doubt ourselves but OP's story is a bit different. What, if I worked in McDonalds and met all those people OP met, you would've told me about Armstrong too? The one and only advice you get in such situations is "do something which will distract you from how much you suck in the society, where the alpha and omega of your value is going to fucking space or earning billions of dollars".
https://www.gwern.net/The-Melancholy-of-Subculture-Society
Ah, the ultimate solution: forget about achievements considered important for the society and join small groups of other losers where you wont suck as much and be valued as you are, wasting your life as a D&D narrator or whatever. You are worthless for the humanity so step aside, play games, watch youtube and meditate - life is so wonderful.
> OTOH far more common is the exaggerated ego where people feel accomplished for things that did not actually happen.
Sounds like a compensation for those who can't deal with reality. We are not talking about people imagining things.
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#337The lack of motivation for your dreams is a pretty big red flag for depression. See a therapist and/or doctor. Common anti-depressant meds really help, though you may need to try a few to find the one that works for you. Good luck! :)
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#338I'd say what you probably need most is to get the hell off the internet as much as possible, because so many apps are designed to suck away your time and have known negative consequences for mental health.
I'd also say - get some professional help. If there are indeed some issues you need to work through, then processing them will enable you to have more perspective and "solve" the problem you've outlined here.
But for a very quick starter: "don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides".
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#339It sounds like you're suffering from a spectacularly severe case of Imposter Syndrome. I can relate because I suffered the same when I cared a lot about what others thought about me.
I can't explain exactly how I broke free of this mindset but I think that the people around me helped a lot. They supported me, encouraged me, cared about me, and gave me the confidence to be less self-conscious in almost every aspect of my life. I stopped asking "why me?" and started asking "why not me?".
You already have the most important trait you need to succeed in anything: 'always in “learning mode”'. Best technologists I've met have always agreed that they don't know everything but they're willing to keep learning.
Re: Ask HN: I feel so shallow and dumb when I see what other smart people are doing
#340This is one of the best HN posts I've read in a while. It feels so close to home, and I think it's amazing that people are sharing their feeling about this topic. Sometimes I feel the same as OP, but then, when I encounter a post like this one, I remember that most people aren't going to do super-duper gigantic world-changing stuff and that's ok. Really! Don't beat yourself because you didn't create RCT using assembl…
Yep agree 100% I am slowly learning to accept that if I only want the results but don’t want to pay the price (thousands of hours working to accomplish the results) then I really don’t truly want it. You have to pick the struggle you want and the results will be the outcomes of that choice.
Wow some downvoted clearly doesn’t want what I am saying to be true. Unfortunately it is. I used to believe otherwise but reality is what it is. Accept it and move on.