Divorce does funny things

Post by quietbritishjim » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 9:29 PM UTC

ergl wrote: post #364

ameminator wrote: post #353

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That was exactly the feeling I had. I actually thought it was a very interesting article about the life of an oil rig worker. Suddenly, and in a throwaway fashion, we get a rumor about some unfortunate man and that's all. If this was meant to be an article about divorce, why wasn't there more divorce-related material? If this was supposed to be about oil rigs, why not focus on that and change the title? Very jarring…

You can see a note under the text noting that it's a book excerpt: https://bookshop.org/books/sea-state-a-memoir/9780063030831

Post by abdabab » Fri, Nov 19, 2021, 2:40 AM UTC

oceanghost wrote: post #328

bradlys wrote: post #289

I can say with great confidence - do not get married. Do not live in a common law state. You will very likely regret it immensely. If I had been legally married to my ex - I would’ve been raked over the coals. I could see myself being the man on that rig. She contributed nothing to our relationship (financially or emotionally) and I put her through college while she didn’t work or pay for anything. Yet, even if I sho…

You literally just described my first marriage. Put wife through school, bought her a car while we were engaged (hers blew up). She didn't work for our entire marriage save but for the last year. She had this weird plan to "take all the money and leave me with all the debt" which she proudly told my brother. Her plan was to run up our credit cards with daily expenses then take off with all the money in the bank accou…

Post by sjg007 » Fri, Nov 19, 2021, 5:43 AM UTC

throwaway_sjfgd wrote: post #336

sjg007 wrote: post #299

My advice for anyone going through a difficult time with a partner or anyone really would be to talk to a therapist. That is what they are there for. You can only influence and change one person and that person is you. Focus on yourself. You are not responsible for anyone else's happiness. There are some practical skills to learn too like the five secrets of communication. But you don't have to suffer and take the st…

Would I be correct in guessing that you have not faced such a situation yourself? My motivation for asking -- What you wrote is advice inexperienced people commonly give. It's nothing that those facing the challenge would not already know. Having faced the challenge, I see several flaws / loose ends in your advice, and would recommend you or anyone reading the same to be watch out, and do your best to learn from the…

Post by throwaway_sjfgd » Fri, Nov 19, 2021, 1:55 PM UTC

throwaway211116 wrote: post #370

throwaway_sjfgd wrote: post #367

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To start with, I'll reiterate that I am not qualified enough here, and you seem to know more than me. :) Since you asked still, below is my current understanding: 1. Biological evolution itself depends on spreading of genes. So the big picture cannot be an evolutionary path where having more than one partner is less optimal, whether for reasons of STD or otherwise*. Unless it is so bad that had we not picked up on mo…

I do agree with 1 and I believe the influence was subtle. I also believe it might have depended on a lot of factors. Maybe some tribes were not near any animal reservoir. Maybe some diseases were transmitted due to injuries while hunting or while butchering meat. And maybe in some cases, this lead to disadvantages during inter-tribe wars. Maybe a infected tribe lost a war, their men killed and the women raped, result…

Post by 3pt14159 » Fri, Nov 19, 2021, 8:51 PM UTC

vecinu wrote: post #374

3pt14159 wrote: post #372

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well if you happen to be in Toronto or San Fransisco let me know via email. I'm happy to go for a coffee or beer with someone knew to a city. I'm usually in TO, but I'm in SF once every month and a half for work. Best of luck.

Hey, small world, I'm from YYZ and spent quite some time in SFO and it looks like we even have a common friend :) I'll drop you an e-mail, I'm planning to be in SF next month. Thanks!