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Finding Your Swagger

kevinyien.com

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Re: Finding Your Swagger

#51

Post by mistersquid »

soneca wrote: post #21
nothis wrote: post #14

I'm sorry, but I can't connect the dots in that story. 1) He did great (like, there's actual metrics mentioned) 2) Others wanted a different direction (even though he did great?) and didn't tell him 3) They excluded him from meetings 4) They fired him 5) He blamed not "re-centering" himself In the notes, he mentions that one of his later decisions (splitting engineering) was a bad choice. So isn't that the core of it…

I think the “lost swagger” thing is that there was a decision made behind closed doors that he knew was bad and chose not to speak up. So when that decision indeed caused something bad, he emailed the CEO explaining why they should have know it was bad from the start. And the CEO complained that he was hired to “speak up” and he didn’t. And instead of bouncing back, he spiraled downwards (presumably doing a very bad…

> So when that decision indeed caused something bad, he emailed the CEO explaining why they should have know it was bad from the start.

Given the meetings where decisions were being made were happening behind closed doors, he very well may have complained about a direction the CEO had chosen.

Too many blind spots.

Re: Finding Your Swagger

#52

Post by fnord77 »

> Be assertive and opinionated even when you aren't as sure.

this is terrible advice.

Anyway, this post reminds me of the subplot in the show Succession where the son-in-law thinks he's going to be promoted to CEO (from some meh position) and is strutting around like he's king... but in reality it is his wife that is on that track... and everyone is mocking the SIL behind his back.

Re: Finding Your Swagger

#54

Post by rendall »

f4stjack wrote: post #6

Kevin I am sorry but you are not the one that is fault at here. There are several red flags but most noticably your ex firm lacks accountability. You shouldn't be hired with an impulsive decision, there shouldn't be closed doors decision making andyou should not be blamed because you executed the decisions made without your input. And getting fired after a whiteboard session with no heads up? Even though he knew he i…

I came here to say exactly this, only not as well stated! Kevin, this comment is it.

Re: Finding Your Swagger

#55

Post by notreallyserio »

strogonoff wrote: post #44

From more of an engineering standpoint, those meetings with the COO seemed like textbook knowledge transfer to me, except the context (that the subject was not made aware of the nature of this event and his upcoming firing) reflects really bad on this company’s management. It reads as if the upper management treated the employee as a highly unpredictable individual who would undermine the company out of spite. They m…

On the other hand it could have been the COO trying to give Kevin a chance to show he's on board with the product direction, and the whiteboarding showed otherwise. Who knows?

Re: Finding Your Swagger

#56

Post by coldtea »

Sorry, but this is internalized "blaming the victim".

Yes, you could have stood up when they started excluding you, but they could have just as easily fired you for standing up too.

The environment was toxic - they excluded you behind your back, the CEO blamed you for being excluded, the COO fired you summarily after listening to your ideas, and they even did it as your wife was 7 months pregnant (which I'm sure they knew).

That's not a company to work for, Swagger or not.

Re: Finding Your Swagger

#57

Post by keeptrying »

Kevin, we met in SF. you have a habit of being hard on yourself and giving others the benefit of a doubt.

I agree with others here - this was a toxic work culture. None of this was your fault but your method of building back up your confidence seems useful.

Also anyone who fires someone with a pregnant wife is a repugnant human being.

Re: Finding Your Swagger

#58

Post by dbsmith83 »

dustinmoris wrote: post #25

We obviously don't know like 99.9% of the full story, but the fact that he had a long session with the COO one evening and then got fired the very next day in the morning is just plain evil and wrong. It's not how you treat a human. It's disrespectful to say the least. The employee went home feeling good, so the COO basically charmed him up the day before firing him in order to get out the last ounce of what they con…

> You need all of them. Everyone has their own swagger...

Love this. It's also interesting how when someone leaves a team, oftentimes teammates will step in a little to fill in the role the ex-teammate used to provide. It is kind of like a form a growth. I find myself thinking "What would ____ say about this?"

Re: Finding Your Swagger

#59

Post by Bhilai »

> [6] Fortunately, the company agreed to provide COBRA which would cover our insurance costs for the delivery.

This is so crazy and why employer based insurance cannot be a safety net in the case you end up needing an expensive treatment while also losing your job.

Re: Finding Your Swagger

#60

Post by groby_b »

f4stjack wrote: post #6

Kevin I am sorry but you are not the one that is fault at here. There are several red flags but most noticably your ex firm lacks accountability. You shouldn't be hired with an impulsive decision, there shouldn't be closed doors decision making andyou should not be blamed because you executed the decisions made without your input. And getting fired after a whiteboard session with no heads up? Even though he knew he i…

So much this. Congrats, you just learned what a corporate backstabbing feels like. (And a particularly nasty one. What they did to you? You escaped from a place run by sociopaths.)

Also, please let go of the thought that companies will be in any way kind to you. That you got COBRA? Your company is legally obligated to extend that option. They did, literally, the bare minimum they were forced to do by the law.

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