Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Daddy isn’t coming back

ft.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

351–360 of 430 posts

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#351

Post by ycombinete »

anon_nd wrote: post #297
podgaj wrote: post #10

I have schizoaffective bipolar disorder, and aspergers. I was making $130,000 a year as a network engineer at Cisco in 1999 before I became too sick to work anymore. Right now I am homeless living in my van with a transmission about to go. I have attempted suicide three times already. I keep thinking about doing it again. No one wants to provide me the best medicine, stable housing. I make $1700 on disability but I c…

New anon account for obvs reasons... > My nephew hung himself at 14 years old after a doctor thought he had ADHD and gave him ritalin. It was a misdiagnosis. I have ADHD and the first to get diagnosed in my family, and now that I'm dealing reasonably well with that, strongly suspect other ASD-related traits: obsessionality, sensory issues, social problems, but these lightly enough that I've been able to make it throu…

Ritalin always worked great for me, but immediately gave my brother debilitating OCD.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#352

Post by ricardobayes »

Things like this made me quit the high-tech job developing self-driving. It's such a bullshit problem to work on if you think about it. Same with most menial SaaS startups creating CRUD websites. Diarrhea kills 10M+ people globally a year, but it's not lucrative enough for companies to work on 'solving it'. Same with mental health issues. Kills 3x as much people yearly, but not 'cool' to work on that problem.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#353

Post by ricardobayes »

zoelow wrote: post #349
anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

Feeling obliged to leave my story here: Three years ago I made a plan to take my own life. Instead of pushing through I contacted a local suicide hotline, it was completely anonymous. I just talked for a bit, but that little moment helped me to find the courage to talk to a family member and that led me to go into therapy which I completed a few months ago. Initially I was very scared telling my therapist about being…

Nice one mate, so happy for you. This must have been incredibly difficult to work through.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#354

Post by BingoAhoy »

eggsmediumrare wrote: post #239
bettysdiagnose wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're right, he doesn't. The idea that somehow it is sensible, when you're seriously ill, to just abandon your entire support network for financial reasons makes next to no sense whatsoever. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you all the best.

Any pronouncement beginning with "they should just..." is almost always born of ignorance.

Yes. From personal experience I've found people who readily offer "you should" fail to adequately investigate and listen to comphrehend important contextual factors and differing values. These might determine what is situationally positive or negative.

Advice that I've usually found more valuable was formatted as "here's an option and here are the possible pros and cons". These people also did more listening than 'should-ing'. They also didn't have the audacity to tell you what is best, which is implied by 'should', because they weren't in your shoes and neither completely informed of the context so how would they know what's best?

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#355

Post by OJFord »

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

I agree with your first sentence, I find those annoying and assume that they're pointless and unhelpful, just posturing; but the rest of your comment... what?

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#356

Post by bipson »

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

Great, that sounds like a perfect pitch talk discourage anyone from calling such a number or talking to someone about a difficult time in their life.

I really hope you are very wrong about what you wrote, otherwise you live in a really cold and frightening place. There sure is a hotline where you can just talk to someone, without losing your job, right? right...?

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#357

Post by eterm »

celticninja wrote: post #340
yardstick wrote: post #336

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you still collect your normal pay while being sectioned in the UK? If not, may as well have been fired…

Depends on the employer, but at the least you will be entitled to statutory sick pay(SSP). Most employers will cover the first 5 to 10 sick days without any changes to your pay. After a certain time period this may drop to 80% of wages and then after another defined period of time SSP kicks in, which is usually significantly reduced pay but you are paid and your job will remain open for you to return.

And to clarify further for the US audience, this first 5-10 days doesn't come out of holiday (vacation) time/pay, there isn't combined "PTO" in the UK; sick days and vacation time are treated separately.

In fact, you even still accrue vacation time while off sick, I was off sick for a year and when I came back HR came to me with the news that I had extra holiday to use the next year because it been rolled over from when I was off sick.

If you're sick while on holiday you can even try to claim the days back although most people don't as that's seen as taking the piss a bit.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#358

Post by bregma »

jolux wrote: post #276
sneak wrote: post #266

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Suicide is a human right. Interfering with someone's basic right to self-determination is absolutely despicable, no matter how ill the person is.

It's not quite as simple as that. One of the reasons the suicide rate is so high in the US is because of how easy it is to access firearms. This suggests that peoples' propensity to commit suicide is at least somewhat dependent on their environment. Given that, do you want to make their environment more or less likely to cause them to commit suicide? I'm in the latter category. As for the concern about basic rights,…

The suicide by gun rate is higher in the USA. Not the overall suicide rate. It's just as easy to off yourself using transport (CO, intentional crash, jumper), ligature strangulation (bedsheets, scarf, belt), exsanguination, or overdose of almost anything and all of those things are widely available all around the world.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#359

Post by shireboy »

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

I came here to post what you say not to, and was informed by your comment. Serious question though: what _should_ one say or do to help those who may be suicidal, both in the public and personal? I’ve known several people who committed suicide, and I wish I’d been able to do or say more for them. I know some now who struggle with suicidal thoughts and mental illness. What is the best, right thing to do and say both to friends/family and in a forum like this?

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#360

Post by muzani »

yardstick wrote: post #336
KaiserPro wrote: post #334

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This article is from the UK, so we should be clear about consequences for the UK audience. The Samaritans hotline (a general distress helpline) is there to listen. Nothing else. They do not provide treatment, judgement or the like. Sometimes that is enough. More importantly its anonymous. You will not be sectioned by phoning them To be sectioned (ie detained against your will), you _have_ to be assessed by a doctor w…

Do you still collect your normal pay while being sectioned in the UK? If not, may as well have been fired…

I think in many parts of the world, it's abnormal to stop paying someone just because they're unable to work. Often companies try to take care of their employees, especially during their rough times.
Post reply on HN