Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Daddy isn’t coming back

ft.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

331–340 of 430 posts

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#331

Post by nicoburns »

anon_nd wrote: post #297
podgaj wrote: post #10

I have schizoaffective bipolar disorder, and aspergers. I was making $130,000 a year as a network engineer at Cisco in 1999 before I became too sick to work anymore. Right now I am homeless living in my van with a transmission about to go. I have attempted suicide three times already. I keep thinking about doing it again. No one wants to provide me the best medicine, stable housing. I make $1700 on disability but I c…

New anon account for obvs reasons... > My nephew hung himself at 14 years old after a doctor thought he had ADHD and gave him ritalin. It was a misdiagnosis. I have ADHD and the first to get diagnosed in my family, and now that I'm dealing reasonably well with that, strongly suspect other ASD-related traits: obsessionality, sensory issues, social problems, but these lightly enough that I've been able to make it throu…

How is your 13 year old with the social stuff? As someone who seems to be similar to your son (although I'm much older - and a software developer like you), I would comment that it is having strong social connections that brings purpose to my life, and the degree to which I've been integrated in a social community has correlated strongly with times of my life where I've been happy versus times in my life where I've felt like everything is meaningless.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#332

Post by strken »

sneak wrote: post #266
jolux wrote: post #260

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Man, what. Psychiatrists have to commit you if they think you're an immediate danger to yourself. I'm sure shitty ones do it in situations where they shouldn't, but speaking as someone who has actually experienced being suicidal, my psychiatrist was the only person I actually fully trusted to help me get what I needed. Maybe I'm just lucky to have ended up with psychs who will take on more risk to avoid having to com…

Suicide is a human right. Interfering with someone's basic right to self-determination is absolutely despicable, no matter how ill the person is.

I agree with this in the abstract, but someone's right to self-determination isn't being infringed if 99% of the time they don't want to do something and you stop them from doing it in the 1%.

This is particularly true if they call you during the bad 1% and directly ask you to stop them from doing the thing.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#333

Post by garmaine »

macksd wrote: post #255
anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

One of the many things needing overhauling in our mental health system. I avoided seeking help for a long time because I was interested in jobs that would likely require government security clearances, and (I don't know how true this is) I had heard from multiple sources that a history of seeking help for mental health issues may disqualify you. Which is a little backwards in practice. If there's an issue I want to a…

> I was interested in jobs that would likely require government security clearances, and (I don't know how true this is) I had heard from multiple sources that a history of seeking help for mental health issues may disqualify you

FWIW, you heard correct. This is true. (I don’t have any clearances myself, but I did work for a major defense contractor in the past, and a family member has some sort of above-top-secret clearance for his work.)

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#334

Post by KaiserPro »

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

This article is from the UK, so we should be clear about consequences for the UK audience.

The Samaritans hotline (a general distress helpline) is there to listen. Nothing else. They do not provide treatment, judgement or the like. Sometimes that is enough. More importantly its anonymous. You will not be sectioned by phoning them

To be sectioned (ie detained against your will), you _have_ to be assessed by a doctor within 24 hours. You need to be deemed a risk to yourself or others(by at least two doctors) before you can be held any longer.

You cannot be fired for being sectioned in the UK.

So whilst the UK is very far from being perfect in terms of mental health (lord knows we have a multitude of problems, some alluded to in the article) it is not as bad as described in the parent thread.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#335

Post by garmaine »

hermes8329 wrote: post #275
anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

Your post is dead on I have what is essentially a terminal illness and the fuck cancer resonates You just want to turn to those people and say "I'm dying". While they are trying to be supportive but they completely miss the mark because they don't get it Similar things can be said about people regarding addiction

Serious question. I’m signed up for cryonics myself, and in these instances I try to ask, as gently as possible, if they’ve heard of or considered cryonics as an option. I see it as potentially saving lives, although I don’t know anyone else who has actually followed through on the suggestion. But would you view this genuine suggestion to be as asinine and tasteless as I worry it sounds?

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#336

Post by yardstick »

KaiserPro wrote: post #334
anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

This article is from the UK, so we should be clear about consequences for the UK audience. The Samaritans hotline (a general distress helpline) is there to listen. Nothing else. They do not provide treatment, judgement or the like. Sometimes that is enough. More importantly its anonymous. You will not be sectioned by phoning them To be sectioned (ie detained against your will), you _have_ to be assessed by a doctor w…

Do you still collect your normal pay while being sectioned in the UK? If not, may as well have been fired…

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#338

Post by garmaine »

rubyist5eva wrote: post #76

As someone that was on medication that made me think about comitting suicide regularly, and I've learned to cope and overcome it somewhat...I thought I could read this...but this was like stepping into another reality where I was gone and this was about me. :S :S. and now I'm sitting at my desk bawling my eyes out...just wanting to hold my son and never let him go.

My healthcare provider wanted to switch me from stimulants for my ADHD to an off-label use of an antidepressant which listed suicidal thoughts as it’s most frequent side effect. As a father of two young kids I NOPED out of that real quick. I had to stop reading the TFA because I kept thinking “this could have been me” and spiking my anxiety.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#339

Post by throwaway0a5e »

watwut wrote: post #97
pengaru wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's historically somewhat common for older, more established and financially secure men to pair up with young women. It does seem like a good practical/pragmatic approach to raising a family.

The 40 years old man marrying young girl were business transactions. The normal coupling differences were much smaller typically. (Like 6 years or something).

All marriages are/were to varying extents. I would go so far as to say that being able to "pencil out as a sensible business transaction" is a key element of most/all longstanding marriages.

Being the 40yo guy marrying the 20yo girl is like being the 40yo guy daily driving a Ferrari. Sure there are some pretty big downsides in the practicality department but you're rich enough to paper that over (this sentence is specifically crafted to apply to both parties).

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#340

Post by celticninja »

yardstick wrote: post #336
KaiserPro wrote: post #334

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This article is from the UK, so we should be clear about consequences for the UK audience. The Samaritans hotline (a general distress helpline) is there to listen. Nothing else. They do not provide treatment, judgement or the like. Sometimes that is enough. More importantly its anonymous. You will not be sectioned by phoning them To be sectioned (ie detained against your will), you _have_ to be assessed by a doctor w…

Do you still collect your normal pay while being sectioned in the UK? If not, may as well have been fired…

Depends on the employer, but at the least you will be entitled to statutory sick pay(SSP). Most employers will cover the first 5 to 10 sick days without any changes to your pay. After a certain time period this may drop to 80% of wages and then after another defined period of time SSP kicks in, which is usually significantly reduced pay but you are paid and your job will remain open for you to return.
Post reply on HN