Daddy isn’t coming back • Hacker News Board

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#251

Post by R0b0t1 » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:16 AM UTC

favorited wrote: post #234

R0b0t1 wrote: post #194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, you prove it. If incidence of suicidal ideation goes up with number of involuntary holds then it means that psych facilities are not treating the problem. That is enough: that they are provably not treating it. First do no harm means you have to be causing good; ambivalence is treated as likely harm because it is invasive.

That's nonsense. You are not "provably not treating it" – you are provably not curing it. If the people who receive the most chemotherapy sessions have the highest rates of cancer deaths, does that mean that oncologists are "provably not treating" cancer?

In those treatment there is a metric that indicates success. For this it is not so clear, the main indicators saying "does not knowably prevent death and raises possibility of future death."

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#252

Post by jacquesm » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:16 AM UTC

podgaj wrote: post #10

I have schizoaffective bipolar disorder, and aspergers. I was making $130,000 a year as a network engineer at Cisco in 1999 before I became too sick to work anymore. Right now I am homeless living in my van with a transmission about to go. I have attempted suicide three times already. I keep thinking about doing it again. No one wants to provide me the best medicine, stable housing. I make $1700 on disability but I c…

Can I spot you a transmission rebuild? If so please drop me an email (mail in profile).

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#253

Post by likecharges » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:20 AM UTC

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

Perhaps this is a regional difference, but you might be confusing the suicide hotline with a petition for involuntary admission. The suicide hotline provides someone to talk to. The person might not even know your name or address. What you’ve described is involuntary admission. Any adult can petition for another person to be brought to a hospital and evaluated, but the hospital decides if the person is admitted and/or placed on a 72 hour hold.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#254

Post by ChrisMarshallNY » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:20 AM UTC

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

… and … on the other hand, actually going through with it, is about the biggest “f**k you” that can be given to a family.

This is something that I have had personal experience with, in family, friends, acquaintances, and even enemies, that I wished dead, then was not so thrilled, when my wish came true.

I hang out in circles that experience a lot of … “out of band” … issues. It’s a long story, and not one I feel like sharing on HN. Suffice it to say that I have seen this kind of stuff many, many times.

Getting treatment for mental health issues —and there are very many types of issues, and types of treatments— is important. One way to support people going through this stuff, is to avoid feeding the “shame machine,” and try to realize that we may not have the answers, so we can help people connect with those who do.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#255

Post by macksd » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:21 AM UTC

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

One of the many things needing overhauling in our mental health system. I avoided seeking help for a long time because I was interested in jobs that would likely require government security clearances, and (I don't know how true this is) I had heard from multiple sources that a history of seeking help for mental health issues may disqualify you. Which is a little backwards in practice. If there's an issue I want to address it and manage it. Because of my desire for those jobs, I let the problem fester for longer.

I also found when I finally broke down and sought help (not for suicide, granted) the process of trying to take advantage of my company's resources like paying for short-term counseling, etc. was incredibly frustrating. You couldn't get a hold of the people at the company we paid for the plan, everything on their site was outdated and badly maintained, they only covered certain therapists, and they happened to be therapists who make a point of specializing in treating pretty much anything with drugs, etc. Had I been on the edge of suicide or unable to eventually just pay for the care I needed directly, I can only imagine trying to navigate this process could've finished me off, emotionally.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#256

Post by aaron695 » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:22 AM UTC

harry8 wrote: post #221

chris_wot wrote: post #205

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is precisely what they do. Fun fact: whilst Lifeline in Australia says that they will treat all calls as anonymous, they in fact do not. If you speak about killing yourself to a counsellor, then they will call the police and trace your number, despite whether or not you turned off caller ID. Don't trust phone counselling services. Ever.

I did not know that. I would like a reference for that info if you have one?

Lifeline Australia Limited Privacy Policy

https://www.lifeline.org.au/media/igzp1al2/lifeline-australi...

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#257

Post by kreeben » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:24 AM UTC

rubyist5eva wrote: post #230

kreeben wrote: post #226

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I watched the movie Real Steel starring Hugh Jackman and started to cry at the end. That's when I realized I was depressed, in a real low place. Because that movie is... not good and shouldn't have touched me in any way. That's also when I found out that crying to shitty movies is so liberating and cathartic and good for me. Crying is good for you. It only takes a minute. Afterwards, I always felt more alive than I d…

Thank you, and I like the idea of watching a dumb but harmless movie to kinda forget about things for a couple hours. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to do that. Thank you.

These are just suggestions, but what if you just told yourself, "hey, world, I need a break".

I know it's hard to find time for yourself. But what if you did it at night? Your wife and kid, they're both asleep and you've already decided, tomorrow is going to be a sick day, this is my time, and so you put on Real Steel and just become immersed?

After that, watch another one. Or a whole series on Netflix. Turn that day upside down. Then, when you wake up, you'll feel like a different person.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#258

Post by t0mbstone » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:25 AM UTC

jacquesm wrote: post #252

podgaj wrote: post #10

I have schizoaffective bipolar disorder, and aspergers. I was making $130,000 a year as a network engineer at Cisco in 1999 before I became too sick to work anymore. Right now I am homeless living in my van with a transmission about to go. I have attempted suicide three times already. I keep thinking about doing it again. No one wants to provide me the best medicine, stable housing. I make $1700 on disability but I c…

Can I spot you a transmission rebuild? If so please drop me an email (mail in profile).

Hero in the comments!

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#259

Post by ChrisMarshallNY » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:28 AM UTC

kingcharles wrote: post #204

yokoprime wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think jail is the other choice.

I was in jail for eight years. I would say a large majority of people are in jail due to various mental health issues.

Thanks for sharing that. Hope things are well for you now.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#260

Post by jolux » Thu, Nov 18, 2021, 2:30 AM UTC

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

Man, what. Psychiatrists have to commit you if they think you're an immediate danger to yourself. I'm sure shitty ones do it in situations where they shouldn't, but speaking as someone who has actually experienced being suicidal, my psychiatrist was the only person I actually fully trusted to help me get what I needed.

Maybe I'm just lucky to have ended up with psychs who will take on more risk to avoid having to commit people, but it's at least a little more complicated than you imply.