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Daddy isn’t coming back

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Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#181

Post by timwaagh »

jstx1 wrote: post #9

Knowing that you're at high risk of suicide or have other serious mental health problems is also a good reason to avoid having kids. This isn't directed at the author of the article or their partner; it's how I think when I plan my own life.

I do feel bad for you if you otherwise would have wanted them. I can't really argue with the idea that having a parent go out that way is going to be good for kids but I guess I don't know how bad and perhaps nobody does. At any rate you can never be sure whether you are at risk. The best we have are rather broad statistical estimates, which isn't the same as risk itself. I wouldn't really put too much faith in such population level phenomena when it comes to individuals though. You might want to carefully evaluate that.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#182

Post by AmericanChopper »

5F7bGnd6fWJ66xN wrote: post #161
AmericanChopper wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is exactly the type of irrational, emotional reaction the active is designed to elicit. The article is advocating for a public policy position, it relates to the topic of suicide, and it describes the hardships of the author. The merit of the position is irrelevant to the fact that this article has been so effective in evoking an emotive response from you, that simply a rational description of its content has ma…

I'm curious if you know of anyone in your family and friend circles with this disorder? If so, have you talked to them?

I have made 0 comments ITT on the merit of the ideas put forward by the author. I have exclusively commented on the use of rhetorical devices to persuade the audience of their policy positions. So I’m curious why you’re asking me about the merits of the points advocated in the article. Are you truly incapable of seeing the difference between those two things?

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#183

Post by yokoprime »

anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

I don't think jail is the other choice.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#184

Post by GDC7 »

quadrangle wrote: post #175
GDC7 wrote: post #149

The fact that people in here are considering waiting to have a kid till they can self-diagnose themselves as mentally stable enough not to kill themselves, is itself an indicator that people who clicked on this HN thread are at higher risk for depression. Me included. The non-depressed person goes about the world as they owned it, thinking nothing but good things will come their way, they have the confidence to try h…

Your "own the world" idea sounds more like the manic side of bipolar disorder rather than a healthy moderation that represents a "non-depressed person". You're right that "own the world" mania is dangerous and destructive. I hope you're not suggesting that this is the inevitable tragic state as the only alternative to depression. People in the thousands-of-years-ago African plains were still people. They weren't in a…

> There really are healthy moderated ways to live.

Nature doesn't like moderation. It likes a variety of many extremes so that it can reward those extremes which are particularly adapted/lucky to win in that particular moment. And win big.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#185

Post by micromacrofoot »

anonporridge wrote: post #48
micromacrofoot wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's an oft-used Lord of the Rings quote: “Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.” What is a broken person? since we're all fallible beings ourselves, who could possibly decide that someone is broken beyond repair? It doesn't matter if there's truth to it.

I think this is a bit of the wrong analogy. There's a big difference between judging someone unworthy of life and acting to kill them, and judging that someone is not worth the energy and struggle to fight against their own drive to throw themselves off a cliff. We're not collectively strong enough to save everyone. Getting strong enough is a goal to aspire to, but the dark reality is that in our state of weakness, w…

people with mental health issues very often can’t judge this for themselves…

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#186

Post by cyberpunk »

downut wrote: post #178
cyberpunk wrote: post #166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, I kind of identify with the soto sect of Zen Buddhism, but I actually reject the standard interpretation of the four noble truths (the first if which, as you've said: life is suffering). Life isn't all suffering. Idealistic thinking of life is a kind of suffering, I suppose, but you're not suffering all the time. When you're eating an awesome meal, having some hot sex, seeing your code pass CI on the first atte…

Ah, well I had no intention of implying that all of life is suffering, but the succinctness of my comment can be read that way, sorry. Your take is quite reasonable, IMHO. The gist of a lot of the quotes that search brings up is more or less the same: without suffering, it may be more difficult to understand how deeply good the pleasant experiences of life are. Which for me, would include looking out the window at th…

Oh, your friend in Belgium doesn't appreciate what he has, I come from a small island off the west coast of Scotland, where rain is rather common... You could resent it, or you could install roof windows, a log burner and invest on a decent whisky and have the best possible environment for getting deep into a hardback book that possible exists (possible enhanced by a collie dog laying on your feet).

Life is weird. We're all islands until we realise we are the island. Don't take anything too seriously. :)

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#187

Post by perl4ever »

R0b0t1 wrote: post #142
paxys wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A single hotline experience not working for you doesn't warrant a blanket "I would never suggest to anyone to call a suicide hotline". There are lots of studies that show that such programs are at least moderately effective ( https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12... )

There's also studies that show the more times you are committed the more likely you are to commit suicide, i.e., that psychiatric hospitals cause suicidal ideation.

Evidence of suicidal ideation is a specific example (and probably the most common) of what gets people involuntarily admitted to a mental ward.

In fact, there are almost certainly more people admitted on that basis than actually have it, because if someone is not clearly a danger to themselves or others, but seriously needs help, the easiest way for emergency personnel to fudge it is by reporting a mention of suicide.

Can you provide further context on what makes you think there is significant causation in the opposite direction?

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#188

Post by xwdv »

yokoprime wrote: post #183
anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

I don't think jail is the other choice.

Being dead is still a better choice than being trapped in that system and carrying the stigma your whole life IMO. It becomes a permanent problem that you cannot escape.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#189

Post by anm89 »

yokoprime wrote: post #183
anm89 wrote: post #180

This is the part where every one piles in posting suicide hotline numbers. I would argue most of those people do not have any experience with, or understanding of those hotlines and it's just a trite thing to throw out to show support like "fuck cancer". You should seriously understand what you are signing yourself up for if you call one of those numbers on yourself or someone else. For one you are volunteering that…

I don't think jail is the other choice.

I wasn't implying it was, simply stating my relative perception of the two events.

Re: Daddy isn’t coming back

#190

Post by gerardvivancos »

rubyist5eva wrote: post #76

As someone that was on medication that made me think about comitting suicide regularly, and I've learned to cope and overcome it somewhat...I thought I could read this...but this was like stepping into another reality where I was gone and this was about me. :S :S. and now I'm sitting at my desk bawling my eyes out...just wanting to hold my son and never let him go.

I'm really unsure whether or not to send this message. I just hope it’s useful.

Just wanted to say I’m glad you’re there, for him and for yourself. I’m glad you’ve got something to latch onto.

Keep being there, sometimes it’s hard but it always pays off in the long run.

Again, hope it helps

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