The benefits of not belonging • Hacker News Board

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#91

Post by joelbluminator » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:09 AM UTC

anon9001 wrote: post #42

pedalpete wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am not in the US, but I'm a white male in Australia, so very similar culturally, and no, I don't feel alienated in the least. So, I'm hoping you are not a white male, as I don't think we can have the tiniest inkling of what it feels like to be a minority. Even travelling in Asia, where we're clearly a minority, I feel like we know on a global scale that even though we may not be the majority of the population, we h…

>> Honestly does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? > So, I'm hoping you are not a white male, as I don't think we can have the tiniest inkling of what it feels like to be a minority. So GP is suggesting that everyone feels isolated, regardless of race or gender. You reply with "hoping you are not a white male" to this observation. We all know that if GP is a white male, his comment borders on white s…

Seems to me there is a correlation between cultural homogenity and less societal problems. He is not 100% wrong. Is it racist to point out the truth?

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#92

Post by mixmastamyk » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:12 AM UTC

Kye wrote: post #84

mixmastamyk wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Excuses are like assholes, everyone's got one. No need for a house. I don't have one, but I do have walkability and sufficient solitude, aka freedom from the boob-tube and associated neuroses. They were choices I made, prioritized over material things.

Good for you. Either share how you did it and stop gloating and judging, or go away.

You're the visitor here, cowboy. Got a job, lived beneath my means. Biggest mistake was to not finish a degree first.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#93

Post by joelbluminator » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:16 AM UTC

dnissley wrote: post #12

RobertRoberts wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not where I live, rural America. All the insanity is _literally_ in the big cities. There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. It's political groups and the media that get people whipped up into hatred for each other, not individuals or communities. The times have changed, and the media and agitators (no better term?) that don't want to admit they are part of the problem.

This is a very rosy view of rural America, to which I am a frequent visitor. Just a few dysfunctions off the top of my head: - Reactionary politics were born in rural America, urban America is just catching up these days. - The value system of rural America is dismissive of nerdy/intellectual pursuits, and so it drives out talent that was already enticed by the opportunities present in cities. - More broadly there is…

Some of them are indeed kind of victims. There are dirt poor people living there who are called white trash. Sounds like a victim to me.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#94

Post by throwaway803453 » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:22 AM UTC

WalterBright wrote: post #57

kayodelycaon wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think there is. I think they are just speaking from their own experience. They are an authority on their own life experience and know what they've learned but that doesn't generalize. Advice is only right for the right person at the right time. > The best way to be liked is to just agree with everyone. This view is incomplete. Human relationships are build on connections. You can create those connections by agreein…

> The best way to be liked is to just agree with everyone. Maybe I'm different, but people who just agree with me are uninteresting.

As are people who are impulsively contrarian.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#95

Post by Aloha » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:23 AM UTC

Kye wrote: post #58

mixmastamyk wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Turn off the TV and anti-social media, take a walk in the sunshine, and voila.

Now I'm tired and still in the exact same situation. Everyone I know is still overworked, underpaid, and has no time or energy to socialize. All social activities still require driving on gas that's $3+/gallon on top of everything costing money.

This is how I felt before I moved to a place with a lower cost of living, yes, I still need to drive everywhere, but at least I'm not miserable all the time. The pace of life slowed down once I got off of the coast.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#96

Post by joelbluminator » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:24 AM UTC

nitrogen wrote: post #90

MisterBastahrd wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No it isn't. People in rural America assume that if you're in rural America then you already believe the exact same things that they do, based largely on skin color. Try living there and going against that grain and see how "peaceful and contented" they are.

My experience has been that that's true of the city too, just from the other side.

Yep...liberal intolerance is a thing.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#97

Post by Aloha » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:29 AM UTC

WalterBright wrote: post #60

IAmWorried wrote: post #3

Honestly does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? The US is overly hostile, we imported the whole world and all its cultural hangups with it. I mean if you're white people are shitting on you, if you're black people are shitting on you, if you're male people are shitting on you, if you're female people are shitting on you... like what exactly is this country FOR? Does anybody REALLY feel like they belo…

> does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? > does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? I do not feel alienated. > Does anybody REALLY feel like they belong in America? I do. > what exactly is this country FOR? It's for people who want their fundamental rights guaranteed so they can do whatever they choose to do, like be a rock star, build rockets to go to Mars, race motorcycles, write poe…

I think we still need to fulfill the promise of the New Deal and the Great Society, the Great Society specifically failed because of programs constructed in haste by men with too little knowledge of the real world in which those programs would need to function.

We have a huge and growing poverty problem, one the Democrats and Republicans seem to be ignoring, we have to ratchet down misery level, a failure to do so imperils our democracy in the long run.

If people don't have resources all the freedom of choice in the world does little good, because you have too few options to chose from, too few paths to take.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#98

Post by Aloha » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:31 AM UTC

bxparks wrote: post #14

I wonder if there is a bit of survivorship bias in this article. Some kids grow up in a non-friendly environment, but develop the skills to deal with the adversity, and when they grow up, those skills become highly advantageous. Other kids whither and fall apart in such an adverse environment, suffer from low self-esteem, substance abuse, and other mental illnesses, and never get the chance to reap the benefits of be…

I'm one of those people, being the odd man out, has both harmed me and allowed me to reap benefits. I can walk into most situations as the dispassionate observer, its really interesting being able to watch the world and understand which rules matter, and which ones don't.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#99

Post by Aloha » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:33 AM UTC

bigmattystyles wrote: post #2

There's various levels of not belonging - this one is the best version of it and is basically an outsider perspective. Not belonging and not wanting to belonging are great, but when you don't belong and want to belong, not so much. Being actively prevented from belonging is even worse.

I used to want to belong, I eventually found a group of people which I could belong to, another band of misfits.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#100

Post by dnissley » Wed, Nov 17, 2021, 2:33 AM UTC

joelbluminator wrote: post #93

dnissley wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a very rosy view of rural America, to which I am a frequent visitor. Just a few dysfunctions off the top of my head: - Reactionary politics were born in rural America, urban America is just catching up these days. - The value system of rural America is dismissive of nerdy/intellectual pursuits, and so it drives out talent that was already enticed by the opportunities present in cities. - More broadly there is…

Some of them are indeed kind of victims. There are dirt poor people living there who are called white trash. Sounds like a victim to me.

Sure, I'd agree with that. It's one thing to have grievances, it's another thing to be infected by a victim mindset where your grievances are always top of mind, keeping you from taking an accurate inventory of yourself, keeping you from doing what you can to improve your situation in life (and by extension your community's position in the world).