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The benefits of not belonging

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Re: The benefits of not belonging

#51

Post by abernard1 »

Barrin92 wrote: post #48

Given the authors biography and work in the VC / startup ecosystem, isn't "not belonging" just... normal? There's probably one blog post per denizen of San Francisco and surroundings on the internet by now about how different they are. Eccentricity is basically performative at this point, I've seen a lot of people just trying to be edgy to get attention in the sector. Honestly I think if you're actually looking for a…

As a retired tech person who is also one of the author's Third Culture Individuals, I couldn't agree with this sentiment more.

The Bay Area startup scene is the most sheltered and identical group of people I've ever worked with. It's why I finally turned it in: I just can't stand them. My zip code in Oklahoma is substantially more diverse in any type of way you can think of except superficial ones.

As it turns out everyone acting like they're "open-minded" or "edgy" or "innovative" does not suddenly become true if it is universally parroted. It's an open joke for people who exist outside that system.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#52

Post by cblconfederate »

ilaksh wrote: post #45
cblconfederate wrote: post #29

I was just wondering, are there disconnected internets that i can join? I d rather stay in a limited sector that is not overpopulated and oversaturated with the mainstream, even if it has huge downsides. Just like how biology uses membranes to build the useful stuff , i think we need harder borders between internet communities to increase the variance. Everyone moving around like a giant mob and lashing at each other…

Right, so the solution to information bubbles fighting is to create more reinforced bubbles. Makes perfect sense.

you mean bubbles as echo chambers, i mean bubbles as semi-permeable barriers

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#54

Post by confidantlake »

RobertRoberts wrote: post #24
Stronico wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It can be nice in big cities too, maybe a little harder, but still pretty easy - all you have to do is remove social media and the clickbait/outrage web and life becomes pretty normal.

I agree that cities can be great at times. But as a whole comparatively they are not as stable or peaceful.

From everything I have read cities are generally safer than rural areas.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#55

Post by [deleted] »

kayodelycaon wrote: post #15
francisofascii wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

America is a big place. Being alive today allows us to be exposed to a multitude of diverse communities. If you select a particular place or community at random, chances are, you won't fit in. But there probably is a group you DO fit into. The situation today is much better than our ancestors, who were born into a tribe, and were probably stuck living within that tribe.

This. I'm the only person in my extended family who has an artistic/creative personality. Fitting in in a small midwestern city was not an option. I find a few friends in college for a while but graduation separated us. Fortunately, the internet made finding a community to belong possible. Since joining the furry fandom, I haven't been wanting for a place to belong.

[deleted]

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#56

Post by pedalpete »

anon9001 wrote: post #42
pedalpete wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am not in the US, but I'm a white male in Australia, so very similar culturally, and no, I don't feel alienated in the least. So, I'm hoping you are not a white male, as I don't think we can have the tiniest inkling of what it feels like to be a minority. Even travelling in Asia, where we're clearly a minority, I feel like we know on a global scale that even though we may not be the majority of the population, we h…

>> Honestly does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? > So, I'm hoping you are not a white male, as I don't think we can have the tiniest inkling of what it feels like to be a minority. So GP is suggesting that everyone feels isolated, regardless of race or gender. You reply with "hoping you are not a white male" to this observation. We all know that if GP is a white male, his comment borders on white s…

I TOTALLY missed that, and DEFINITELY am not a right-wing accelerationist. I don't even know what that is tbh, but it doesn't sound good.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#57

Post by WalterBright »

kayodelycaon wrote: post #27
bxparks wrote: post #14

I wonder if there is a bit of survivorship bias in this article. Some kids grow up in a non-friendly environment, but develop the skills to deal with the adversity, and when they grow up, those skills become highly advantageous. Other kids whither and fall apart in such an adverse environment, suffer from low self-esteem, substance abuse, and other mental illnesses, and never get the chance to reap the benefits of be…

I think there is. I think they are just speaking from their own experience. They are an authority on their own life experience and know what they've learned but that doesn't generalize. Advice is only right for the right person at the right time. > The best way to be liked is to just agree with everyone. This view is incomplete. Human relationships are build on connections. You can create those connections by agreein…

> The best way to be liked is to just agree with everyone.

Maybe I'm different, but people who just agree with me are uninteresting.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#58

Post by Kye »

mixmastamyk wrote: post #21
IAmWorried wrote: post #3

Honestly does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? The US is overly hostile, we imported the whole world and all its cultural hangups with it. I mean if you're white people are shitting on you, if you're black people are shitting on you, if you're male people are shitting on you, if you're female people are shitting on you... like what exactly is this country FOR? Does anybody REALLY feel like they belo…

Turn off the TV and anti-social media, take a walk in the sunshine, and voila.

Now I'm tired and still in the exact same situation. Everyone I know is still overworked, underpaid, and has no time or energy to socialize. All social activities still require driving on gas that's $3+/gallon on top of everything costing money.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#59

Post by Kye »

RobertRoberts wrote: post #6
IAmWorried wrote: post #3

Honestly does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? The US is overly hostile, we imported the whole world and all its cultural hangups with it. I mean if you're white people are shitting on you, if you're black people are shitting on you, if you're male people are shitting on you, if you're female people are shitting on you... like what exactly is this country FOR? Does anybody REALLY feel like they belo…

Not where I live, rural America. All the insanity is _literally_ in the big cities. There are minorities out here and we all get along just fine. It's political groups and the media that get people whipped up into hatred for each other, not individuals or communities. The times have changed, and the media and agitators (no better term?) that don't want to admit they are part of the problem.

As someone outside a city, I can assure you it's out here too.

Re: The benefits of not belonging

#60

Post by WalterBright »

IAmWorried wrote: post #3

Honestly does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society? The US is overly hostile, we imported the whole world and all its cultural hangups with it. I mean if you're white people are shitting on you, if you're black people are shitting on you, if you're male people are shitting on you, if you're female people are shitting on you... like what exactly is this country FOR? Does anybody REALLY feel like they belo…

> does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society?

> does anybody NOT feel alienated in our current society?

I do not feel alienated.

> Does anybody REALLY feel like they belong in America?

I do.

> what exactly is this country FOR?

It's for people who want their fundamental rights guaranteed so they can do whatever they choose to do, like be a rock star, build rockets to go to Mars, race motorcycles, write poetry, etc.

It's not for people who want cradle-to-grave security and want someone else to make all the decisions for them. Nor is it for people who want to run other peoples' lives.

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