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Don’t be spooky

therealadam.com

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Re: Don’t be spooky

#91

Post by metters »

> deliver constructive but critical feedback as close to the “original sin” as possible. Receiving feedback that you did poorly weeks after the fact is disconcerting. It can lead the recipient to wondering what other things they’re doing poorly but won’t hear about until later.

This is very true. It happened to me some time ago, that I was performing very poorly - at least according to my team (I think it is at least partially true but there were circumstances) Instead of telling me so I have a chance to improve, my boss just fired me during my probation time. If I would have known earlier they are not happy I would have adapted my work style according to their expectations and tried to please them. This way I didn’t even receive a chance.

Context: I just started a new job and then the first lockdown due to corona happened. Nobody was prepared to onboard me properly. I was a junior developer, but in hindsight I believe they expected a senior developer

Re: Don’t be spooky

#92

Post by dudul »

Zababa wrote: post #87
bitwize wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't make the rules: https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2017/10/24/559502238... Using the word "niggardly" can get you fired because it's slur-adjacent. Anyone who uses it in 2021 is looking to give offense. As we understand words like "spook" in a new light, it becomes prudent to avoid using them as well, lest we be seen as deliberately offending people. It's always important to think about the social effect…

> Anyone who uses it in 2021 is looking to give offense. Most people in the world have no idea of the current state of racial tensions/issues in the USA. The majority of English speaker in the world don't live in the USA.

Don't worry, the majority of the USA doesn't give a damn either. Twitter loonies are not representative of the general population.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#93

Post by redisman »

protomyth wrote: post #85
vorpalhex wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I dislike that phrase because it gives me no context. Does my manager want to talk about a specific project? A team change? A goal change? An issue? Does he want to chat about a new marathon he wants to run? Give me context. If you want to chat for twenty minutes just to catch up, then that's fine but just tell me.

So you want every communication with you to have full context? Perhaps the manager needs a couple of things and wants to be respectful of your schedule. They might not know the full extent of the conversation yet. If you work in an environment where full context is necessary to combat paranoia then there are other problems. If you need to have every conversation be formal then don't expect to be the first person a ma…

Let’s talk about our sexual harassment policy when you have a minute.

See it’s not some ungodly burden to add one or two words of context

Re: Don’t be spooky

#94

Post by protomyth »

redisman wrote: post #93
protomyth wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you want every communication with you to have full context? Perhaps the manager needs a couple of things and wants to be respectful of your schedule. They might not know the full extent of the conversation yet. If you work in an environment where full context is necessary to combat paranoia then there are other problems. If you need to have every conversation be formal then don't expect to be the first person a ma…

Let’s talk about our sexual harassment policy when you have a minute. See it’s not some ungodly burden to add one or two words of context

Any manager who sends that message is an idiot. They are going to have an HR rep with them and tap you on the shoulder to go into a conference room. The whole idea of an environment that could be that bad is way worse than any message you could receive.

Frankly, someone disturbing my flow by adding information that I don't need now and making me subconsciously think about something new is now respecting my work.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#95

Post by labcomputer »

newsbinator wrote: post #2

> When you’re communicating with your team, lead with context and reassurance. Never message someone on your team, “let’s talk when you get a minute”. That’s void of information and scary as heck! This should be engraved on a plaque in every office building.

Amen. I automatically assume that an all-hands meeting (one that isn't part of a quarterly schedule, announced months in advance) without context is about layoffs and start looking at my resume.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#96

Post by chollida1 »

xxpor wrote: post #76
Waterluvian wrote: post #41

Early in my career I got a Monday morning meeting invite on a Friday afternoon just after I left the office. The meeting was called “The future of “ Entire weekend was a write off. I was so anxious. And yep. They shut down the unit (but I got to keep my job). As a result this is forefront in my mind as a manager. One thing that works great is whenever I ask questions about something, anything, I also say “this is on…

Isn't there an unwritten rule about layoff timing that it's always on a Friday? Always do layoffs on Fridays so people have time on the weekend to calm down instead of going postal?

What difference does a Friday have vs a Monday if the person isn’t comming back to the office?

Maybe your remembering giving as news on a Friday so it gets lost by the media over the weekend?

Re: Don’t be spooky

#97

Post by 5faulker »

Waterluvian wrote: post #41

Early in my career I got a Monday morning meeting invite on a Friday afternoon just after I left the office. The meeting was called “The future of “ Entire weekend was a write off. I was so anxious. And yep. They shut down the unit (but I got to keep my job). As a result this is forefront in my mind as a manager. One thing that works great is whenever I ask questions about something, anything, I also say “this is on…

Too bad that "future" is now a business jargon for crisis.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#98

Post by neilv »

One tactic I've seen for when you do have some bad news, is to misrepresent it in the meeting request. But that has long-term cost.

One day at a past company, I noticed in a videoconf team meeting that the CEO and the head of my dept. looked atypically grim. After the meeting, dept. head texted for a call with me. I think the gist was something like:

    are you available for a call a little later?

    uh oh.  you and bob looked unsmiling in the meeting

    lol nothing bad!  just want to talk about the project
Then the video call comes a short while later, and he's standing, and has an unusually good backdrop (taking the occasion seriously). He's leaving the company.

I suppose he saved me an hour of worry before the call, but these days we're friends, and if he ever tells me some forthcoming meeting isn't bad, I will probably instantly remember that time it actually was. :)

Re: Don’t be spooky

#99

Post by Kosirich »

newsbinator wrote: post #2

> When you’re communicating with your team, lead with context and reassurance. Never message someone on your team, “let’s talk when you get a minute”. That’s void of information and scary as heck! This should be engraved on a plaque in every office building.

Amen. My manager scheduling an afternoon meeting with title "Very important information to share" without no info and sending it early in the morning, means I will barely work and will spend the day wondering what it is. 50% is due to my anxiety, 50% due to curiosity.

Re: Don’t be spooky

#100

Post by maneesh »

chollida1 wrote: post #96
xxpor wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Isn't there an unwritten rule about layoff timing that it's always on a Friday? Always do layoffs on Fridays so people have time on the weekend to calm down instead of going postal?

What difference does a Friday have vs a Monday if the person isn’t comming back to the office? Maybe your remembering giving as news on a Friday so it gets lost by the media over the weekend?

It's about not bringing a gun into work and "going postal" (named after a situation with a post office employee)
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