How I lost my fear of flying (2011) • Hacker News Board

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#11

Post by sokoloff » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 12:56 PM UTC

apples_oranges wrote: post #6

I went from fear of flying to now planning to get my pilots license. I believe I am naturally a person which sees many aspects of a thing and many possibilities, take that and my (probably basic) understanding of airplanes, computer systems and people, I always could immediately construct series of events in my mind that led to catastrophy. What if the pilot is depressed because his wife just died? What if the coffee…

I’m a pilot and have strong fear of heights. (It’s hard for me to change the outside floodlight bulb that is maybe 10 feet off the ground.)

Fear of heights literally never presented in training or subsequent flying. The pathway is different, at least for me, but I’ve known many other pilots who are afraid of heights as well so it seems semi-common.

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#12

Post by gmanis » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:09 PM UTC

This is my greatest fear and has lead my life into a completely different direction. From a promising young CS graduate working in tech in US to someone who’s had to leave many opportunities to family members unable to travel with me, it is very debilitating.

I have tried exposure therapy, learnt a lot about flying, used sim games, and no amount of statistics has helped so far.

Maybe the fear stems from underlying unresolved issues about life and the fact that I haven’t done well relative to peers despite being promising early on.

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#13

Post by GnarfGnarf » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:10 PM UTC

I had an uncle Robert who was an airline pilot. He was the epitomy of prudence and caution. He had seat belts installed in his car in the 50's.

I figured if this man chose to earn a living by flying, that was good enough for me safety-wise.

He rose in seniority to the point where he could choose any route, anywhere in the World. He flew Vancouver/Chile to minimize time zone difference.

One time my 90-year old grandmother (his mother) came to visit me. On the way back, Robert was going to take her home on the flight he was piloting. I sat with the frail old lady in the airport departure lounge. As her grey-haired son, a paragon of authority resplendent in his captain's uniform, strolls through the terminal, she points to him and proudly tells a flight attendant: "That's my boy!"

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#14

Post by vbg » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:16 PM UTC

I used to be scared of flying. And I flew every second week for years.

I got over it when I realized planes land on aircraft carriers in typhoons. Me traveling in an airbus is literally like getting on a bus …. Slow safe and boring.

It’s hard to be concerned about takeoff and landing on a big flat runway on land in a big slow plane, compared to big radar planes or bombers landing on carriers.

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#15

Post by vbg » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:18 PM UTC

gmanis wrote: post #12

This is my greatest fear and has lead my life into a completely different direction. From a promising young CS graduate working in tech in US to someone who’s had to leave many opportunities to family members unable to travel with me, it is very debilitating. I have tried exposure therapy, learnt a lot about flying, used sim games, and no amount of statistics has helped so far. Maybe the fear stems from underlying un…

What exactly does this mean?

“ being promising early on”

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#16

Post by gmanis » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:23 PM UTC

vbg wrote: post #15

gmanis wrote: post #12

This is my greatest fear and has lead my life into a completely different direction. From a promising young CS graduate working in tech in US to someone who’s had to leave many opportunities to family members unable to travel with me, it is very debilitating. I have tried exposure therapy, learnt a lot about flying, used sim games, and no amount of statistics has helped so far. Maybe the fear stems from underlying un…

What exactly does this mean? “ being promising early on”

It means I started off in a top software company and was on track to a relatively decent middle class life in US.

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#17

Post by ironmagma » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:34 PM UTC

AshamedCaptain wrote: post #10

ironmagma wrote: post #7

For the longest time, I was afraid to fly. No amount of knowledge of the statistics or popular sayings about flying being safe was enough to convince me everything would be fine. It still isn’t. What finally allowed me to fly at peace was watching dozens and dozens of hours of “Air Crash Investigation.” Damned be anyone who says exposure therapy doesn’t work. Now, crashes just seem annoying and commonplace, and I ima…

Now try watching Air Crash Investigation on the plane itself :)

Is that… allowed? I feel like you’d get mobbed by the nearby passengers. :P

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#18

Post by EE84M3i » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:35 PM UTC

tluyben2 wrote: post #3

I got over fear of flying (and actually liking flying although I do not want to do it anymore for the environment) by getting a job which got me travelling between different EU countries, HK and AU multiple times a month. I hardly ever flew before that because I was deadly afraid but after 10 flights or so I started to enjoy it. At the end (the end was when covid hit), I was looking forward to a nice quiet long haul…

What kind of job did you have that had so much travel? Does it still exist in a post-covid world?

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#19

Post by ironmagma » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:52 PM UTC

apples_oranges wrote: post #6

I went from fear of flying to now planning to get my pilots license. I believe I am naturally a person which sees many aspects of a thing and many possibilities, take that and my (probably basic) understanding of airplanes, computer systems and people, I always could immediately construct series of events in my mind that led to catastrophy. What if the pilot is depressed because his wife just died? What if the coffee…

> planes cannot just fall out of the sky

Sure they can… example [1], not to mention things like stalls or icing on the wings like with Air Florida.

But it’s true, the trick to not worrying about your flight is to enjoy the risk of flying.

[1] https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-53880254

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#20

Post by tluyben2 » Sat, Nov 06, 2021, 1:53 PM UTC

EE84M3i wrote: post #18

tluyben2 wrote: post #3

I got over fear of flying (and actually liking flying although I do not want to do it anymore for the environment) by getting a job which got me travelling between different EU countries, HK and AU multiple times a month. I hardly ever flew before that because I was deadly afraid but after 10 flights or so I started to enjoy it. At the end (the end was when covid hit), I was looking forward to a nice quiet long haul…

What kind of job did you have that had so much travel? Does it still exist in a post-covid world?

We sold software and hardware to banks and our clients were in Asia and Europe. The company still exists; upper management found out what I have been saying since I was a kid in the 80s sitting behind my first (300 baud) modem; no more travel needed. Turns out this sitting around the same table was not needed at all for sales or otherwise. It was fun though but tiring (and stupid for the environment and the uselessness but my colleagues simply did not believe this until this year...).