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How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

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Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#3
I got over fear of flying (and actually liking flying although I do not want to do it anymore for the environment) by getting a job which got me travelling between different EU countries, HK and AU multiple times a month. I hardly ever flew before that because I was deadly afraid but after 10 flights or so I started to enjoy it. At the end (the end was when covid hit), I was looking forward to a nice quiet long haul to get some reading done.

I thought I could get rid of my fear of heights (different than planes; planes are too high; I never cared about that) the same way; I tried just going to uncomfortably high up and walking over ravine bridges and stuff; I freeze and cannot move at all. I got an Oculus Quest 2 recently and in games like the climb etc I am standing in my living room but I am completely into mortal panic; I cannot get my brain to accept this is fake and there is no drop. I am not really bothered by it, however I do think fear of heights will be with me until I die.

A positive thing is; because of this fear, the Quest is far more realistic than it is for friends who do not have that fear. My brain is immediately into realism and actually thinking I am physically in danger which makes the Quest experience far nicer for me than for others.

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#5
post #3

I got over fear of flying (and actually liking flying although I do not want to do it anymore for the environment) by getting a job which got me travelling between different EU countries, HK and AU multiple times a month. I hardly ever flew before that because I was deadly afraid but after 10 flights or so I started to enjoy it. At the end (the end was when covid hit), I was looking forward to a nice quiet long haul…

Congratulations for overcoming a fear that was holding you back! That is a huge achievement and you should be proud of what you did for yourself.

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#6
I went from fear of flying to now planning to get my pilots license. I believe I am naturally a person which sees many aspects of a thing and many possibilities, take that and my (probably basic) understanding of airplanes, computer systems and people, I always could immediately construct series of events in my mind that led to catastrophy.

What if the pilot is depressed because his wife just died? What if the coffee cooker has been badly serviced and will start a fire? What if there's a tired ATC controller and we collide mid air with another plane? What if the engine has a slight imbalance, falls apart, and the parts hit some hydraulic line that immobilises the control surfaces etc.

I think it has to do with being a programmer, I see bugs all day and I can just imagine what can go wrong in an aircraft.

Also in the mix: A fear of heights and a fear of death.

What helped me: Statistics, realising that I am more likely to die sitting on my couch than sitting in a Boeing 757.. That I am relying on far less sophisticated drivers on the road to not mess up, and I am ok with it. That life is uncertain and that I can't live in in fear. And the fact that planes cannot just fall out of the sky, they are shaped in a certain way that ensures flight as long as there is wind hitting the front of the aircraft. And they make their own wind with their engines..

It just clicked eventually and now I'm even enjoying turbulence (as long as I don't spill hot coffee over my pants).. I also don't mind to crash and die, to be honest. After all, I am not Peter Thiel or Ray Kurzweil, so death is 100% certain for me. So why not die doing something I enjoy.

Of course the odds are I won't perish in an aircraft. At home on my sofa, now that's more likely..

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#7
For the longest time, I was afraid to fly. No amount of knowledge of the statistics or popular sayings about flying being safe was enough to convince me everything would be fine. It still isn’t.

What finally allowed me to fly at peace was watching dozens and dozens of hours of “Air Crash Investigation.” Damned be anyone who says exposure therapy doesn’t work.

Now, crashes just seem annoying and commonplace, and I imagine that if I’m in a plane crash, at least there is some kind of beauty to be appreciated in the complexity of a sinking aircraft and the weeks-long investigation that will ensue. The crash is basically a testament to the beauty of the act of flight, and now I can appreciate that grace for all its risk as well.

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#8

For the longest time, I was afraid to fly. No amount of knowledge of the statistics or popular sayings about flying being safe was enough to convince me everything would be fine. It still isn’t. What finally allowed me to fly at peace was watching dozens and dozens of hours of “Air Crash Investigation.” Damned be anyone who says exposure therapy doesn’t work. Now, crashes just seem annoying and commonplace, and I ima…

I like watching those documentaries not only for the exposure therapy, but also to see all the redundancies that are in place and how the investigation leads to the same type of incident hopefully never happening again.

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#9
I flew enough as a child and then with my first job to be comfortable with flying. Never really considered fear. Then I took a flight back from Vegas to NYC and it ended up in an emergency state as both hydraulic systems were lost on takeoff [1]. It was fascinating to experience fear creep into the physical environment. Fear of the unknown as we all heard the obviously-bad noise during takeoff. You could tell we were flying in circles above the desert.

The crew did not communicate anything for a long time, so imaginations took over. That was the worst part, the inciting incident.

Then one passenger started freaking out. Then another. It snowballed so quickly. Crying, screaming, drinking, trying to call loved ones. The college-aged girl in front of me was in tears and the older man next to her held her as if he were her father. My buddy seated next to me had a full panic attack, drenched in sweat. Bottles of prescription pills were passed around from row to row.

The stench of vomit was unavoidable. Flying in turbulent skies for hours didn't help the situation.

About 4-5 hours later we made an emergency landing - one of those in which we were instructed to lean all the way forward with our head on our arms. The landing was relatively smooth. Then I realized we were really far from the airport, on the outskirts of the runways, and a bunch of emergency fire and rescue vehicles were staged, waiting for us.

I've never seen so many people de-board a plane and sprint for the bar so fast.

Since then, I have a low level of anxiety when flying, mostly during the takeoff. My senses stay on guard in anticipation of hearing something go wrong. But it's not fear. I try not to allow that to happen.

[1] https://www.avweb.com/news/jetblue-flight-194-weve-lost-two-...

Re: How I lost my fear of flying (2011)

#10

For the longest time, I was afraid to fly. No amount of knowledge of the statistics or popular sayings about flying being safe was enough to convince me everything would be fine. It still isn’t. What finally allowed me to fly at peace was watching dozens and dozens of hours of “Air Crash Investigation.” Damned be anyone who says exposure therapy doesn’t work. Now, crashes just seem annoying and commonplace, and I ima…

Now try watching Air Crash Investigation on the plane itself :)
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