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Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#131

Post by nefitty »

ranguna wrote: post #126

This is gonna come out really childish, but here goes: You know those games where you select the phrases you want your character to say, and certain phrases lead you to different scenarios ? Games like Detroit become human. All those choices form a tree where each choice is a branching point. What I've found in RL is that negative actions generally lead to smaller paths in the "choice tree", which is generally no fun…

There's no need to qualify your comment. The way you described decision making is clear and evocative. In fact, you helped me visualize how I either prune or increase the amount of my possible futures based on the emotional valence from which my decisions stem.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#132

Post by cybernautique »

Nevermark wrote: post #117
cybernautique wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you read Max Stirner? This is one of the most compelling motivations of egoism I've seen, and the phraseology converges almost directly with Stirner's "The Ego And Its Own."

No I had not, so thanks for the reference! I just looked him up on Wikipedia and my first impression is he was a very original/independent thinker. :) I came to that view unconsciously at first, before I recognized it explicitly. It never made sense to me to not care about my net impact carrying on after I die, since it is pretty clear I am going to die, and very soon relative to our home the universe. Caring about t…

I highly recommend reading it as a comedy, in the vein of inherently absurd shitposts. Stirner's bragadocio really underscores the absurdity of self-interest vis-a-vis the individual's standing with reality.

I very much agree with your position! I came to a similar view, which I only acknowledged in my explicit deconstruction of my beliefs. It's taken me ages to reconverge; Camus, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and Stirner finally gave me the confidence to declare: "fuck it, I am my impact, and I'm proud of what I do right."

It's really the most life-affirming philosophy I've found, it helps me walk the fine balance of empathy (tending to self-destruction) and self-interest (tending to dread isolationism, nihilism).

I'd love to keep a dialog as you read Stirner! Let me know if you're interested, I'll give you a line to reach me at :D

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#134

Post by mkl »

kakkan wrote: post #97
shardinator wrote: post #91

Massage under the mastoid process of the temporal bone. This will release pressure on your Limbic System in general, improving your emotional connection to the world, and in particular will let your Amygdala to settle reducing your sense of fear, in turn making you a more joyful and open person. Long term you want to find a way to strengthen and balance your Deep Neck Flexors and Deep Neck Extensors, however how to d…

How do you find the temporal bone? Would you have a reference video so that I could try it out? Temporal bone massage returned some vague results.

You should look up [mastoid process]: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=mastoid+process&atb=v279-1__&iax=i...

The temporal bones are big plates of the skull your ears attach to, and a "process" in anatomy is a sticking-out part of a larger bone.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#135

Post by lmm »

PakG1 wrote: post #63
cybernautique wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recommend "Tuesdays With Morrie" for a good why book. Either you value collaboration and the opinions of others, or you don't; there's not much that you can do to reason yourself into or out of it, since it's not really a rational position. I find dialetheism[0] to be a fulfilling model of mental gymnastics for this 'humbling' you refer to. [0] https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/dialetheism/

An initial glance makes it seem similar to Schrödinger's cat. I do use Schrödinger's cat type thinking to make decisions and think about things when I don't know what the right answer is, so just act as if all scenarios are the right one until I know for sure which is right. I shall look into it, as well as the book. Your point in that there's not much one can do to reason oneself into or out of valuing collaboration…

Well, if you want to collaborate better, maybe acknowledge to yourself that that's a goal you're deliberately pursuing and therefore you're going to sacrifice other things (probably including reaching the best possible conclusion in individual conversations) because you value good collaboration more. (Of course that only works if you really do value it more).

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#136

Post by Cyril_HN »

wruza wrote: post #116
PakG1 wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I read that book and as I recall, it makes the point that you need to have the intention and motivation to make it work, or else it won't matter. Whereas for me, the reasons I am always considering negative stuff (I just find it important to think in worst-case scenarios for various reasons), completely outweigh any desire I have to be more friendly and likeable. This has made my marriage difficult at times, and I've…

I need a really really compelling why book Only your own life can be that book, you just have to re-read it and see where it went wrong, by your own standards. It’s very good that you’re not humble and can draw clear lines (afaiu), but along with that you have to check flaws in your reasoning and only draw lines where you can see the canvas clearly. professionals can figure it out for me A smart move, but be careful…

That's the correct answer.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#137

Post by anakaine »

seaknoll wrote: post #40

I'm not perfect about this but one experience in particular helped me. I was a new employee doing on-the-job training for an even newer employee, while we were trying to meet a deadline. We were the only two people working on this project, in the middle of rural NM, out of cell range, and having to improvise. He kept making suggestions and I kept explaining why they wouldn't work. Suddenly he point-blank asked me why…

Thank you for that post. Thats personally something I probably needed to hear and make a consideration to address what is, frankly, a negativity problem.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#139

Post by Debugreality »

c7DJTLrn - unfortunately this is totally normal for us human animals. Negative thinking is hardwired to be the dominant thought process. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-019-0560-0 https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-bias-4589618

Luckily it is well studied and there are many old and new techniques that work for many of us with the most recommended seeming to be Mindfulness.

For me Visualization is also an amazing technique because if done right the brain remembers what we visualize so we can rewire our default thinking.

Try checking out Mel Robins her YouTube channel has a lot of great free stuff and her books are great as well. But if you don't gel with her style there are a ton of alternative people trying to explain more or less the same concept.

Re: Ask HN: How do you tackle your own negativity?

#140

Post by bambataa »

russelldjimmy wrote: post #83

Here’s how I got over my negativity: Like many others here on HN, I lean more towards the “intellectual” and “analytical” side of thinking. I was not very mindful of my emotions and how they influenced my thinking. The thing about thinking is that our analytical minds rationalise our thoughts and hence our conclusions _feel_ rational. But what we don’t see easily is that our emotions define the axioms on which our ra…

I have had a similar experience with negative self-talk. Maybe also due to anxiety at bottom and I just haven’t gone down that far. How far into the retreat were you before you noticed this?

Anyway, the main insight I wanted to agree with is the realisation that much of your self-aware cognition is more like mental froth.

Learning to observe your own thought processes is incredibly helpful and might help OP to understand their underlying mental behaviours.

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