What about those who have a spouse whose job is a homemaker? It seems fairly common within my social circles. Maybe that job is teacher, nurse, counselor, daycare provider, cook, all wrapped in one.
Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
291–300 of 445 posts
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#292Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes, I've wondered the same thing. Anti-sexual harassment training, and more broadly the discouraging of socialization between men and women, has also reduced the opportunity for men and women to marry. The flip side of the male executive no longer being able to chase his secretary around a desk to try to pinch her on the butt is another executive not being able to politely court the secretary he is in love with (and…
More and more, I'm beginning to think that a society in which there is widespread use of birth control and in which the majority of women enter the labor force and work full time in an office is not going to be able to maintain replacement level fertility rates. In which case, the future belongs to societies where women don't work and birth control is stigmatized. It could be that there is a reason why the world was…
The solutions are quite simple. Provide free daycare. Provide 1 or ideally 2 year long parental leaves for both parents. Provide a somewhat generous child allowance for up to 3 kids.
The hard truth is that it's not as expensive or complicated to encourage people having child but for some reason we are trying to do anything except for the things that actually matter: allowing parents that want to spend all their time with their new child this opportunity and allowing parents that can't be bothered to handle all the early mechanical aspects to avoid them.
Cheaper starter housing and for the US cheaper higher education would also help but I'm convinced those are lower priority than targeting the early years.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#293Earlier quoted context omitted.
definitely true. But same-sex marriages will not change that number pretty much at all
Judging from my social group, the gay male software engineers are more likely to be married than the straight ones (and I don’t think I could say that about any other profession), and also more likely to be married to another engineer. If I’m right about that, and the effect is strong enough, it could affect the numbers.
In my social group nearly all of the software developers I know are married to stay at home moms (self included). So it probably is just your social group.
You live in Seattle or the Bay Area perhaps?
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#294Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you think lawyers marry lawyers, you should look up physicians!
I'm a sysadmin (though these days I get called a "cloud engineer", or "devops". ugh) married to a doctor. That said I'm a university dropout, and she did a degree in computer science, before switching to become a physician. I know a lot of CS people locally who are married to dentists and doctors. There are a lot of encounters between doctors, but my personal experience is that doctors marrying doctors (or other medi…
Why do you think they get divorced frequently? Could the significant factor be the irregular or long working hours for people in medicine?
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#295Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Unluckily, you cannot insure yourself against the immense risk of alimony payments if a divorce should happen. Of course you can. You can know thyself and know thy partner and have the maturity to understand what you're getting into, and the ability to commit despite that. EG: I know there's 0% chance that my wife and I will get divorced, not because marriage is so easy but because we're both people who are able to…
> I know there's 0% chance that my wife and I will get divorced You share this mindset with every divorced guy I know, including myself. Men just don't see it coming.
Men don't see it coming because they don't care. Quite frequently men are in bad relationships that don't affect them much but they generally don't walk away.
Women pull the trigger when they can't take it anymore.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#296Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
My SO and I are both software engineers, so blame me for taking one of the lady devs off the market.
[deleted]
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#297Earlier quoted context omitted.
My SO and I are both software engineers, so blame me for taking one of the lady devs off the market.
My wife and I are too. Though we had our first child last week. She said earlier in the pregnancy that she would like to keep in the workforce. But as each day passes with the baby it feels more likely she'll decide to be a full-time mom. Either decision is fine in my book :)
Congrats!
My wife went back to work for like 3 weeks after 3 months off with our first. Then she just decided to no longer have a job that gives a paycheck. She works, harder than I, and of more import. She just doesn’t get a paycheck.
Though... she went back to Starbucks and service industry != tech industry by a long shot so....
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#298Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
But then the weird thing is that web developers have software developers as 4th most likely to marry. Behind nurses, teachers, and managers.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#299Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
Given women almost always marry up (i.e. they marry men who earn more than themselves), if you break this up by sex I am pretty sure the numbers will look very different.
Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples
#300Earlier quoted context omitted.
Men generally do not care about the income of their wife, as that's not what they're innately attracted to. Hypergamy is characteristic of women and hence they want to marry up, and won't settle for someone who makes less than them. The latter is a reason for why there are so many educated but unmarried women today in their 30s and 40s.
> women are attracted to money and status! Not men!!! Professionals I know in the 20-35 cohort only want to date other professionals. The ones that don’t want some weird stay at home trophy wife dynamic. There’s nothing provably innate about some men preferring trophy wives. There is a lot of availability due to cultural baggage. The phenomenon that you’re talking about is culturally bound. Anecdotally my wife makes…
I don’t know whether it is innate, but it is cross-cultural: see Buss, D.M., 1989. Sex differences in human mate preferences: Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and brain sciences, 12(1), pp.1-14.