Which jobs most often pair together among married couples • Hacker News Board

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#231

Post by bobthepanda » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 2:45 AM UTC

whatshisface wrote: post #197

xupybd wrote: post #193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is true, I'm in a community that values having a parent at home with the kids. Many are on wages most would expect make it impossible but they live good lives. Some very small business owners, charity works (earning very little) and a few high paid professionals.

Stay-at-home parents do a lot of financially valuable but unaccounted work that can come quite close to improving the family finances almost as much as if they had a job near the median salary.

Childcare has increased by 21x in price over the past 40 years. https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/11/why-child-...

At 16k per child per year, one or two kids is equivalent to one or two persons making minimum wage.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#232

Post by kapp_in_life » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 2:52 AM UTC

NikolaNovak wrote: post #184

Seattle3503 wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm in this situation now. I'll have a bad day, then my partner comes home and dumps her bad day on top of mine. I don't know to handle it, because if I ask her to stop she sulks. It means I don't care about her bad day.

Oh, THAT part has little to do with profession; my spouse's and my jobs were completely different (or so we thought!), but if your relationship works and you are "each other's 'person'", ranting about work is part of the SLA :-> FWIW, my experience: - Key is to look at sum balance. Yes, absolutely, somebody else unwinding will increase your stress level; but IF unwinding reduces their stress level more than it increa…

>Key is to look at sum balance. Yes, absolutely, somebody else unwinding will increase your stress level; but IF unwinding reduces their stress level more than it increases yours (and vice verse when the tables are turned), it's a net win

Disagree here. If the other person is always or even is just mostly doing the unloading that's not fair and you just end up sacrificing yourself to the utility monster following this advice. This isn't to say don't ever be empathetic, but also don't let yourself be victim to an "empathy vampire"

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#233

Post by pugworthy » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 2:57 AM UTC

VWWHFSfQ wrote: post #194

ra wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you don't conflate gender with marriage, there's more opportunity for software developer couples.

definitely true. But same-sex marriages will not change that number pretty much at all

Yes as long as SS couples keep it secret. Anonymous surveys are a great way to say that you have a "committed partner" without going into details.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#234

Post by devnull3 » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 3:05 AM UTC

Another data point from same website: Divorce Rate By Occupation

https://flowingdata.com/2017/07/25/divorce-and-occupation/

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#235

Post by vostok » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 3:09 AM UTC

jrsj wrote: post #226

StillBored wrote: post #179

Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…

I would assume it’s partly because software devs tend to work longer hours and do less stuff socially outside of work than average. As an adult I’ve only dated people long term I either met through work or online games.

Do software developers work longer hours? They seem to have the least work hours out of anyone in my upper middle class American peer group.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#236

Post by SomewhatLikely » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 3:12 AM UTC

Gunax wrote: post #113

valbaca wrote: post #59

Honestly, kind of boring results. - Volume wins out: there are lots of teachers and nurses - Like-marries-like: most marry someone in their own profession Not that boring is bad. Just interesting that the trends overshadow any kind of special results.

Yea, I think a more interesting analysis would have based on frequency of profession. That is, how far away (+% / -%) from a random matching is it?

Was thinking the same. Something like pointwise mutual information would do the trick.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#237

Post by taneq » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 3:14 AM UTC

StillBored wrote: post #179

Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…

I’d imagine around 50% of married software engineers are women, so I guess the takeaway here is that male devs are doomed unless they can find a nice dev to marry?

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#238

Post by Talanes » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 3:24 AM UTC

missedthecue wrote: post #139

idiotsecant wrote: post #134

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At the very least, it speaks to your personal cultural views of the trades, trucking, and small business ownership!

Observations, really. I might add religious clergy to the list as well.

It's pretty common for Pastor's wives to have a position in the church as well.

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#239

Post by elzbardico » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 3:27 AM UTC

throwaway0a5e wrote: post #167

chrisseaton wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is that the case? I guess my university experience is 10 years out of date but that's how it was back then.

School demographics matter a lot. The Harvard crowd isn't finding their future wife at school.

Harvard graduates are going to have multiple partners before settling up and marrying by their mid-thirties

Re: Which jobs most often pair together among married couples

#240

Post by stevekemp » Wed, Oct 27, 2021, 3:33 AM UTC

julianlam wrote: post #185

StillBored wrote: post #179

Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…

If you think lawyers marry lawyers, you should look up physicians!

I'm a sysadmin (though these days I get called a "cloud engineer", or "devops". ugh) married to a doctor.

That said I'm a university dropout, and she did a degree in computer science, before switching to become a physician.

I know a lot of CS people locally who are married to dentists and doctors. There are a lot of encounters between doctors, but my personal experience is that doctors marrying doctors (or other medical specialists) seem to get divorced quite frequently.