221–230 of 445 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
My SO and I are both software engineers, so blame me for taking one of the lady devs off the market.
My wife and I are too. Though we had our first child last week. She said earlier in the pregnancy that she would like to keep in the workforce. But as each day passes with the baby it feels more likely she'll decide to be a full-time mom. Either decision is fine in my book :)
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I agree that having money is great - but are you actually saying that the best relationship is one where combined income is maximized? Is there no room in your utility function for mutual growth, sum being larger than the parts, etc?
No, we're also super compatible as well. There's more to it than money. I just think that a lot of couples have problems and disputes that would not exist if they had money to throw at the problem to make it go away. Like a lot of stressful problems in life, marriage or otherwise. To steal a line from comedian Daniel Tosh: "Money doesn't buy happiness. Isn't that what people say? Money doesn't buy happiness? I dunno…
It’s great until someone stops making so much money, or you get kids and some of lifes harder issues (or mental illness) come up and the friction points aren’t something you can just spend your way out of anymore.
Then the money can get used as a weapon to maximize suffering, and yikes.
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IIRC it was the book The Meritocracy Trap that detailed the change from past generations, but I don’t know the numbers or underlying sources off the top of my head
Thanks for bringing up the source; if you do end up finding the data I'd love to see it. It's also fascinating to think about the relationship between social changes like this one and some of the economic/political drivers of inequality (less progressive taxation/inegalitarian investments in education/globalization). I suspect that the rise of tertiary education over the past 40-50 years which has further stratified…
This was a central point to the aforementioned book. The gist being elites invest in education, skill investment, and long hours that leads to more money that they can use to invest in more education and skill development in their children to repeat the cycle. The irony being that, while education and skill development work to gain material success, the long hours required to stay at the top of the competitive heap also makes the meritocratic winners miserable.
Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
If you think lawyers marry lawyers, you should look up physicians!
Combine that 23ish-30ish age range with the fact that many (probably most) residents will work above the ACGME-mandated 80 hours a week for at least the first half of their residency, and I'm honestly shocked it's only ~21% of physicians that marry other physicians. Not to mention the fact that the income bump is substantial.
My fiancé is a physician and we met when she was a resident, and I'd say about 40% of all the residents I met during her residency who were in relationships were in a relationship with another physician.
Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
My wife and I are too. Though we had our first child last week. She said earlier in the pregnancy that she would like to keep in the workforce. But as each day passes with the baby it feels more likely she'll decide to be a full-time mom. Either decision is fine in my book :)
Kids need programming too.
Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
Yeah, I think a relative difference would be more helpful than the absolute number. There are lots of admin people so lots of jobs are likely to end up marrying one.
Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
It would suggest a lot of software developers are unmarried.
The program I went to tripled in size over the course of my time there.
Ok, I can see the lopsided lawyers marrying lawyers, but how is it that software developers are so lopsidedly marrying other software developers when something like 90% of them are male? I guess pretty much every female software developer marries a male software developer which works out to the 12% number? Makes me sorta want to see a breakdown by sex. aka "male software developer has a 6% chance of marrying a softwa…
I think it's just a cool thing to relate too