141–150 of 445 posts
I'm a software developer. I don't know about the rest of the community but for me someone being in tech is, if not a disqualifier, something very close to it. I have no real reason or justification! I guess maybe I'm just techy enough as is and prefer other qualities in a partner.
Want to know a great way to keep a relationship together? Never worry about money ever.
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I once dated a lovely beautiful nerdy funny intelligent successful software engineer. Our first five dates were awesome. So much agreement and joy and commonality. Instant connection and camaraderie. Further on we realized we didn't bring enough to relationship. We didn't want the"gender I'm attracted version of myself". We each wanted somebody to bring new perspectives, challenge us in ways that work and nerdy frien…
Could be something to do with a tech-literate person is _more_ valuable to an arts person than to another tech person. E.g. arts person wants their small plumbing jobs done, their offspring taught math properly, and so on, but other tech person doesn't need that because they do those things themselves.
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> it appears as though software analysts don't like intermarrying What happened to 'software analysts'? Is that even a career today? Sounds like something straight out of the 80s. Is it a 'product owner'? But the real explanation is that realistically 90% of people meet their spouses in university.
You have to be a 'Computer Systems Analyst' to be eligible for TN status.
A few interesting ones in there, such as Dentists, who other than other dentists, most often marry secretaries and assistants.
I wonder if it’s the opposite. From my experience dentists tend to run their own practice or partner with one or two other dentists. Could it just make sense for the spouse to run the financial / administrative portion of the small business? Edit: s/wife/spouse
Do you mean to refer to the wife, or to the partner who isn't a dentist?
Many anecdotal guesses are validated by this data. Doctors and agricultural workers are the obvious standouts, but I see a few more too. Us programmers stick together. Quite a high rate of marrying within the community. Lawyers show a similarly high number. A criticism of the study, is that it does not normalize by how many of these professions are in the general population. So, it appears as though software analysts…
> it appears as though software analysts don't like intermarrying What happened to 'software analysts'? Is that even a career today? Sounds like something straight out of the 80s. Is it a 'product owner'? But the real explanation is that realistically 90% of people meet their spouses in university.
I believe in the last census it was found that something like 48% of American adults had an associates degree or higher educational attainment. It seems that that fact, on its face, makes your assertion nearly impossible.
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I once dated a lovely beautiful nerdy funny intelligent successful software engineer. Our first five dates were awesome. So much agreement and joy and commonality. Instant connection and camaraderie. Further on we realized we didn't bring enough to relationship. We didn't want the"gender I'm attracted version of myself". We each wanted somebody to bring new perspectives, challenge us in ways that work and nerdy frien…
I had a similar experience dating someone in the field, though it went on a bit longer. for me it was just kinda rough to come home from a day of working on software to talk to my SO about their problems with software. great person, but it was an exhausting relationship. on the other hand, most of my friends also do software stuff and we enjoy complaining to each other about work. I guess maybe the difference is you…
I'm a software developer. I don't know about the rest of the community but for me someone being in tech is, if not a disqualifier, something very close to it. I have no real reason or justification! I guess maybe I'm just techy enough as is and prefer other qualities in a partner.
Plus we have so many additional risks of confrontation. Space vs Tabs, Vim vs Emacs, Deb vs Rpm...
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I think the # of female doctors has grown much more quickly than the # of male nurses (IIRC most medical students are women now). It would be interesting to compare stats by gender- does a male software engineer marry differently than a female one?
Yep, I can say with almost 100% certainty there’s a big difference between male and female dating preferences even within the same occupation. For all the talk of feminism and empowerment, women in high status fields like law and medicine are Much less likely to “marry down” to a man in a lower status field than the other way around.
You could also say that men are much less likely to want to marry up (and not be 'the breadwinner' / 'provider).
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I actually married a hairstylist. It turns out, a lot about programming and cutting hair are similar. She has to understand the requirements and implement it exactly right, the first time. I also learned that bartering is alive and well in that world. People would trade all kinds of things for a haircut that they didn’t have to tell their spouse how much it cost: vacation rentals, private box concert tickets, sailing…
Stupid question, what is a high-end salon?
I’d go for the $40 one if I ever have to pay for a haircut again. A $40 cut grows out good, so even if you don’t get a haircut for months after, you don’t look like a bum.