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Willingness to look stupid

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Re: Willingness to look stupid

#371

Post by jszymborski »

cycomanic wrote: post #42
sillysaurusx wrote: post #2

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

I have to say this part (and quite a few other parts of the post) come across as quite arrogant. I mean if he really wants the computer with the smallest box, why can't he explain why. I agree with the general gist of the post: don't be afraid to ask stupid questions. However, the post has an underlying "feeling" of "my questions are not really stupid, I'm just so smart that others don't realise". I know that I ask p…

I frankly had the same impression. It felt it was less about the willingness to look to stupid, but rather the stupidity of people who surrounded him and their inability to see this individual's brilliance.

Perhaps this is an unkind reading, but particularly the laptop scenario felt telling that this person might feel above explaining why they might prefer a laptop which comes in a smaller box.

On the surface that is very much a ridiculous request, regardless of how sensible it might actually be. Surely that shouldn't stop you from making the request, but you must understand that someone is merely doing their job to make sure that you understand what you're asking for.

If I go to a tuba shop and ask how many litres of ranch dressing it holds, I'm not going to scoff when the salesperson reminds me that it isn't a fancy brass bowl.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#372

Post by PatronBernard »

I'd be nice if the author would provide some answers for the "stupid" questions that the readers will inevitably ask themselves when they read about laptops and the size of the boxes they come in. Or how else will they acquire a better understanding of the point the author is trying to make?

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#373

Post by prosaic-hacker »

mbauman wrote: post #324
stavros wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand why he was asking for the smallest box, though? Isn't that an inefficient proxy? Wouldn't asking to see the computers have been more accurate?

I am really curious what his end goal here was. Apple's boxes are all very small — in what situation would a few centimeters in box size outweigh all other considerations?

Not the OP. In my case the client want many all-in-ones.I proposed a small CPU to fit into the notches on the back of a Specific monitor. I used an Intel Compute stick which only needs power, an HDMI cable and a powered USB hub. This gave me an All in One Computer functionally for less than half the price. It also had the benefit of being up-gradable by swapping out the Compute stick for a newer model. When the client saw it he thought it was an all in one and thankfully appreciated the cleverness. (Financially, I got the contract)

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#374

Post by d23 »

u385639 wrote: post #337
pddpro wrote: post #327

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whenever I ask questions, I tend to go to the very bottom of it. And I am not satisfied as long as I get a very intuitive and fundamental understanding of the topic. I have seen, however, that this can be tiring. Unless you are having the conversation with someone who has the time, willingness, and the knowledge to satisfy my curiosity, it is pointless to keep probing. People would often be exasperated or would be un…

This is especially tough because of how much skill it takes for you the questioner to not make the other person feel stupid when they realize they can't answer your questions.

Yeah, I think the other thing that's made me shy away from it more as I've gotten older is asking the "stupid" question, getting a jargon-laden response, and realizing: this person isn't equipped to communicate the concept. It can be pretty exhausting to be the questioner in that case.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#375

Post by greenail »

twobitshifter wrote: post #269
pydry wrote: post #55

One way to prove that he truly doesn't mind looking stupid would be to list times when he risked looking stupid... and it turns out he actually was. It's happened to all of us though we dont like to admit it. I'm sure it's happened to him too and I looked but I didn't see any of those examples listed. Giving only examples of when people thought he was dumb and it turned out he wasn't... that's kind of just a roundabo…

In would say it goes even further than humblebragging, and ventures into narcissism and an inability to handle criticism, explain oneself, or accept help. If the car insurance salesperson disagrees with you, maybe you should try to understand why? Did you really consider the possible that a tree branch could fall in front of your car or that you could get caught in a hail storm? If the Apple store employee doesn’t un…

maybe a better title is "how to ask questions so I can be smug later". I've done this for sure but I've never advertised it later.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#376

Post by phkahler »

mywittyname wrote: post #360
andrewla wrote: post #338

This has happened to me frequently at my current company. I get pulled into a meeting about something that I have no context on because it touches my area of expertise, and the discussions have apparently been stalling out. I brace myself to be the idiot. I'm going to waste everyone's time asking questions that everyone knows the answer to, and I just got looped in, so everyone's going to feel like they need to walk…

One of the best people I've ever worked with used this approach. "I'm going to ask stupid questions now." and "Just so I'm understanding the problem, ." were two phrases she used all the time . I am surprised at how difficult it has been to emulate her technique. Feeling comfortable asking the obvious questions is one half of the battle, but the other, more difficult half, is knowing what obvious questions to ask. Mo…

>> Most of the time when I ask obvious questions, the replies are yes/no. She knew how to ask them in such a way that gets the person talking in greater detail.

Dumb question here, but is it as simple as starting your question with "how" or "what" rather than "does"? The former invite explanation and the later looks for a yes/no.

My big thing lately is to not ask rhetorical questions (which can be sarcasm in disguise) as they either cause people to be defensive or simply agree. Either way they do not speak directly about the "obvious" problem.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#377

Post by marcosdumay »

nescioquid wrote: post #344
bambax wrote: post #306

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The esteemed philosopher was sentenced to death because he was deliberately annoying people No. Socrates was executed because he was associated with the worst rulers that the city of Athens had ever known, all former students of his, who notably went on to kill thousands of Athenian citizens (not enemies, strangers, or slaves), following the defeat in the Peloponnesian War. After the tyrants were killed and democra…

Well, he was executed because when asked what punishment seemed just to Socrates, he said he should be given free meals (like the Olympic champions), rather than suggesting a fine of 50 minas. So Hemlock it was.

Yeah, there's some people that when faced to what they believe is an injustice go all in and decide the world is entirely unjust and there's no point on defending from anything, because the result is already set. See Galileo for another example.

I guess there's some platonic happiness in thinking you have it all figured out.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#378

Post by coralreef »

andrewla wrote: post #338

This has happened to me frequently at my current company. I get pulled into a meeting about something that I have no context on because it touches my area of expertise, and the discussions have apparently been stalling out. I brace myself to be the idiot. I'm going to waste everyone's time asking questions that everyone knows the answer to, and I just got looped in, so everyone's going to feel like they need to walk…

> That there are fundamental misunderstandings and misconceptions about existing systems.

This is debugging 101. You have assumptions about how a system works, but the output isn't matching those assumptions. You walk backwards over your assumptions and test them to see if they are true. Eventually you get to the precise place where your assumption is wildly different than the output, and there is your bug.

The more systems (or people) involved, the longer it takes, the more complexity.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#379

Post by dinkleberg »

mywittyname wrote: post #360
andrewla wrote: post #338

This has happened to me frequently at my current company. I get pulled into a meeting about something that I have no context on because it touches my area of expertise, and the discussions have apparently been stalling out. I brace myself to be the idiot. I'm going to waste everyone's time asking questions that everyone knows the answer to, and I just got looped in, so everyone's going to feel like they need to walk…

One of the best people I've ever worked with used this approach. "I'm going to ask stupid questions now." and "Just so I'm understanding the problem, ." were two phrases she used all the time . I am surprised at how difficult it has been to emulate her technique. Feeling comfortable asking the obvious questions is one half of the battle, but the other, more difficult half, is knowing what obvious questions to ask. Mo…

One thing you learn in sales is the value of open-ended questions. Until you consciously look at it, it's hard to realize how bad the questions we tend to ask are.

Yes/no questions are the worst. But even questions like "What did you do?" aren't great because the answers can often be rather short.

A better question is often posed like "Tell me about X" or "Describe how you did Y".

Of course this isn't universally true, there is value in binary answers.

But often you may find yourself, let's say in a sales context, asking something like "What tool are you using for project management?"

The answer will then be something like, "I'm using Jira".

Instead, if you ask, "Tell me about what you're doing for project management on your team", the answer may be much more detailed.

"We follow the agile methodology and use Jira for our task management. We've got a dedicated project manager on the team who..."

Getting good at asking the right questions is worth the effort.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#380

Post by jnaddef »

I loved the first paragraphs but then they lost me with their list of examples.

Those are not examples of asking stupid questions. Those are examples of asking good questions in a stupid way, almost like he is trying to look stupid, for no good reason. Why don't you give your interlocutor some context so they can help you better? Is your goal to instead make them look stupid? I truly don't understand.

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