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Willingness to look stupid

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Re: Willingness to look stupid

#321

Post by theli0nheart »

pydry wrote: post #55

One way to prove that he truly doesn't mind looking stupid would be to list times when he risked looking stupid... and it turns out he actually was. It's happened to all of us though we dont like to admit it. I'm sure it's happened to him too and I looked but I didn't see any of those examples listed. Giving only examples of when people thought he was dumb and it turned out he wasn't... that's kind of just a roundabo…

Absolutely. There's a kernel of wisdom here, but the argument buckles without examples where the OP actually was "stupid" and wasn't proven to be "the smart one" in the end.

Learning isn't a straight path. It's unusual to not veer off and misunderstand something for a while, during which time others might be right to assume you are "stupid".

The willingness to look stupid will sometimes reflect that you are, in fact, actually stupid. A lack of any examples in this category makes this post read more like a humble brag.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#322

Post by stavros »

ajuc wrote: post #223
soneca wrote: post #170

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t share your assumption that he purposefully made things more difficult. My assumption is that he really didn’t know which computer came in the smaller box (since, computer size, which is the public info about the product, doesn’t exactly correlate with the box size). My guess is that he wanted to know which, if any, impact a small box would potentially have on computer components (like different impact absorpt…

"Hi, I'm doing research on $WHATEVER_IT_WAS, could you show me the computer you sell in the smallest boxes?" would prevent the confusion and awkwardness. It seems he gets out of his way to encounter these situations which is kinda rude. I still liked the article, I certainly have a problem with trying to avoid looking stupid too hard, at least in certain contexts.

Yeah, exactly. I build weird machines, and I need parts that aren't designed for the weird machines (because nobody has built them before), so I usually go to unrelated shops.

Last time this happened, I needed steel wire, and I went to a guitar shop to buy guitar strings. I told the employee "this is going to be a bit weird but I want a string that is 0.3mm in diameter for a machine I'm building, do you have any?" instead of letting him be puzzled why I would want a "0.3mm string" rather than a "C string".

Usually people even ask and talk about about what I'm building, which is nice, but if it will take a long time to explain I say something like "it's not very easy to explain what it does because it's for a specialized purpose, but essentially it does ".

I've never had anyone think I'm stupid, but not for lack of asking stupid questions, I think. I just take a little more care to spend two seconds explaining why I'm asking the thing.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#323

Post by stavros »

josephg wrote: post #36

After a terrible breakup years ago I took a trapeze class. Before we got up on the trapeze bar, I spent most of the class telling everyone how bad I was going to be at it. When I got home I lay in bed confused. Why did I do that? This article is spot on. I was afraid of being seen to be bad at something. Have you noticed? We spend almost our entire adult lives doing things we’re good at. Anything we do that we’re bad…

I don't know, I generally like being bad at things. Not because of the state of being bad itself, but because if I'm not doing something new, it's boring, and to be doing something new is to be doing something you're bad at. So I'm basically trying stuff and asking everyone for help all the time. I don't care what others think of me, I like learning.

I don't even think they think I'm stupid, I'm sure they appreciate the fact that I've made every mistake before when they come to me for help later. I enjoy doing stuff more than I enjoy looking like an expert.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#324

Post by mbauman »

stavros wrote: post #317
ghufran_syed wrote: post #181

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“What is the Apple store employee supposed to do to not make someone feel stupid when they ask for the smallest box?” Maybe ask the customer, “can I ask why you would like the one with the smallest box?” instead of making assumptions? Although note that this might also be classified as a question where the person asking is admitting they don’t understand why someone would want this aka “looking dumb” in the wording f…

I don't understand why he was asking for the smallest box, though? Isn't that an inefficient proxy? Wouldn't asking to see the computers have been more accurate?

I am really curious what his end goal here was. Apple's boxes are all very small — in what situation would a few centimeters in box size outweigh all other considerations?

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#325

Post by downWidOutaFite »

jjdin14 wrote: post #289
dd36 wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who has been deplatformed for questioning the status quo? Isn’t literally all of BLM challenging the status quo?

blm is the status quo, that’s why speaking against blm gets people deplatformed.

If blm were the status quo the police would have been defunded.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#326

Post by Ensorceled »

tremon wrote: post #17
sillysaurusx wrote: post #2

> Going into an Apple store and asking for (and buying) the computer that comes in the smallest box, which I had a good reason to want at the time > The person who helped me, despite being very polite, also clearly thought I was a bozo and kept explaining things like "the size of the box and the size of the computer aren't the same". Of course I knew that, but I didn't want to say something like "I design CPUs. I und…

I'm going to guess it's about luggage size restrictions for (air) travel.

We keep coming back around to why didn't the author say:

"I want the one in the smallest box for "

Instead of providing no reason and being smug in their assumption that they are both very clever and the barely over minimum wage employee assumes they are "stupid".

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#327

Post by pddpro »

dusted wrote: post #50

When I was younger, I often met people who seemed kind of dim to me, at first, and later found the majority of them to be orders of magnitude brighter than me. It was not hard to connect the dots, the reason they were so much brighter was (in part) exactly because of what made them initially seem dim.. They asked questions, honestly. Not the showoff kind of question you ask to show how much you know, but real, honest…

Whenever I ask questions, I tend to go to the very bottom of it. And I am not satisfied as long as I get a very intuitive and fundamental understanding of the topic. I have seen, however, that this can be tiring. Unless you are having the conversation with someone who has the time, willingness, and the knowledge to satisfy my curiosity, it is pointless to keep probing. People would often be exasperated or would be unable to provide me the intuition. Therefore, these days, I pretty much probe very little and if it seems that my questions won't really be answered, I leave it at that, mentally noting to do some independent research on the internet.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#328

Post by dtjb »

blfr wrote: post #130

As a man, every condescending comment you get in person only tells you one thing: your deadlift PR is still too low. Get jacked and all these problems disappear. No matter how silly your questions and objections, no matter how dumb they may think you are, all your concerns will be treated very seriously, criticism couched in most polite terms, and weird stuff written off as eccentric. (It helps to be taller, well-dre…

I can't think of a single politician, CEO, professor, author or esteemed leader where this holds true.

If anything, I think the meathead/jock/gymrat stereotype is more pervasive.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#329

Post by agentultra »

Let the haters hate, just ask questions and move on.

One of the hardest lessons to learn in life is to not concern yourself with what others think of them.

Be polite, courteous, and caring because you want people to like you and you don't want to be ostracized but those things come from within.

But, "I want them to think I'm successful/hot/smart/cool/etc" is just a good way to show how you're not any of those things. So many stories are about people who try really hard to maintain these personas and they all fall apart from the tension.

Delightful anecdotes in this article. Well done.

Re: Willingness to look stupid

#330

Post by mbauman »

kevinmgranger wrote: post #301
cycomanic wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have to say this part (and quite a few other parts of the post) come across as quite arrogant. I mean if he really wants the computer with the smallest box, why can't he explain why. I agree with the general gist of the post: don't be afraid to ask stupid questions. However, the post has an underlying "feeling" of "my questions are not really stupid, I'm just so smart that others don't realise". I know that I ask p…

I think this interaction is an example of what "the customer is always right" is supposed to mean. Sure, the salesperson should verify that the person isn't using mistaken terminology, but past that, why not just help them? Or why didn't the salesperson take the initiative to ask them for the reason, instead of continuing to insist they were mistaken?

But they did help him. I don't see this as a huge indictment on the rep here — they _do_ deal with people who are very ignorant of tech everyday. Maybe it took a while to convince them, but I think that's just as likely a failing of communication.

> I eventually asked them to humor me and just bring out the boxes for the various laptop models so I could see the boxes, which they did, despite clearly thinking that my decision making process made no sense

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