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I just don’t want to be busy anymore

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Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#131

Post by pwdisswordfish0 »

paulryanrogers wrote: post #86
rubicon33 wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How did you manage this with your employer?

And SO and kids?

Don't underestimate the practicality of telling people to fuck off, even if it will have to be put in different words. If for some reason that's not practical, then that's a problem in itself, so try working on that.

As harsh as it might sound to put it this way, the answer for how some people will be able to manage better with their SO and kids is, "because I don't have your SO and kids for my SO and kids," or more specifically, "by not allowing my relationship with my SO and kids to be like your relationship with your SO and kids." For kids especially and with people I know who have this problem, it's because they infantilize and underestimate their kids (past the point where they're actual infants) and think "that's just how they [i.e. kids] are." Your question posed as if it could have an answer that would somehow be general/widely applicable (and not highly dependent upon the tendencies and personalities of the people involved as individuals) certainly hints towards this.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#132

Post by SickOfRaking »

I can think of a few reasons for not caring after all these decades.

. It's both sad and funny to see things you helped design become obsolete, selling for mils on the dollar or end up in a recycling heap.

. Careers often are all about designing the same thing over and over. Even products that appear different to the user often have similar logical plumbing.

. Tech really does change over time and you don't care about the new. (for example) I could give a rip about anything involving the internet but that's where all the money flows.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#133

Post by thewarrior »

fixingproblems wrote: post #102

I say this all the time - programming as a job is not a sustainable life. The fact is that sitting in front of a computer doing mental gymnastics is not in any way something humans are able to cope with over any period of time. People will say "it's just the managers", "it's because you aren't working on interesting things", etc, but it is none of those things. I have worked on interesting projects, been my own boss,…

This comment resonates with me but I’ve read on HN from people who’ve done physical labor that an office job is still much more preferable.

Also what you said applies to any office job and not just programming.

Physical labor maybe something that we enjoy but say running a farm requires insane amounts of it day in day out.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#134

Post by FpUser »

gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

>"I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM)."

Sometimes I do the same - starting 6-7AM and by around noon I quit. I consider it quite normal and nothing to be ashamed of. Except some emergencies productive people (and I count myself as one) do not really shovel gravel 8 hours a day. No point in doing so.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#135

Post by dreyfan »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #109

One thing that helped me is not to care so much about my employer's goals. It's almost heretical. But once you embrace this mindset, it does wonders. Or at least, it has for me so far. I think a lot of us want to be proud of the work we do, and we feel that if we slack off, then we shouldn't be proud. But it's the other way around. I think the slackers have it right. You're probably not going to get rich from working…

This attitude works at random jobs where you’re replaceable, absolutely. However if you’re a meaningful part of an early team with equity, this is quite literally how you can indeed get rich.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#136

Post by nly »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #109

One thing that helped me is not to care so much about my employer's goals. It's almost heretical. But once you embrace this mindset, it does wonders. Or at least, it has for me so far. I think a lot of us want to be proud of the work we do, and we feel that if we slack off, then we shouldn't be proud. But it's the other way around. I think the slackers have it right. You're probably not going to get rich from working…

I have recently jumped ship from an employer of 3 years after adopting a similar attitude.

New Job will pay me double and as such will help me achieve my goals.

Old Company said if I stayed I could achieve a 25% increase in TC if I continued to work on "impactful projects" for 2 years or so. But those projects are the ones I hated there (otherwise a great company)

I've seen first hand when developers leave how all their prideful work becomes a burden to be distributed and shared, and while on notice myself I've seen how all my best and most impactful ideas and projects has been deprioritised. I expect some of it to be lost forever when I go. Instead of milking me for info on my most useful works (libraries, scripts, etc), they have me reassigning meaningless JIRA tickets.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#137

Post by itisit »

mettamage wrote: post #8
gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

Typed on my phone. Six hours of work? Lie the other 2 and call it a day. Or, renegotiate a contract for 6 hours per day. Given how much productivity I presume you bring, I’d lie. I don’t feel bad about it since companies care too little (in general). If they care, then I would care. E.g. a 10x more productive engineer doesn’t get 10x the pay. I met one of these people, they lied. They worked 2 hours, shipped one hour…

I’m not the most wizened of veterans, but rarely have I seen someone put in a true solid 8 hours of work in a day (excluding 11th hour crunches), and even rarer with any regularity. The norm in my experience, in-office or remote, is 3 hours per day. It’s kind of like the televised broadcast of American football. Add up all the commercials (distractions), commentary (socializing), and stoppage (eating/relieving) and you’re left with a fraction of productivity. Not complaining; everything seems to have worked out just fine.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#138

Post by h0l0cube »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #109

One thing that helped me is not to care so much about my employer's goals. It's almost heretical. But once you embrace this mindset, it does wonders. Or at least, it has for me so far. I think a lot of us want to be proud of the work we do, and we feel that if we slack off, then we shouldn't be proud. But it's the other way around. I think the slackers have it right. You're probably not going to get rich from working…

> It's almost heretical

It really shouldn't be. At the end of the day, the vast majority of workers are being compensated to do/build something they otherwise wouldn't of their own volition. Your mental health ought never be lower in priority than the ambitions of your senior management, or the ROI of the stakeholders.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#139

Post by webdev777 »

syshum wrote: post #108
webdev777 wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I didn't say he should have retired, it's just my expectation for a software engineer to have the ability to retire by then. It's very likely he could retire but he just didn't realized. Maybe looking into it, it's not a bad idea. I worked on 3 continents, in more than 10 companies. No employer ever told me I'm coming in too late, my lunch time it's too long or I'm leaving too early (6pm).

10 companies, and "much younger" than the OP. hmmmmm I wonder..... That aside, like I said if your experience is true, which i have my doubts, it does not match mine. Most companies I know of even if they have flex time want their people to start before 9am, and generally do not allow 2-3hr lunches as normal course. Now if you only worked as a contractor this may be different but a salaried position employed directly…

Very interesting, I worked both as permanent and on contract basis and they did their best to keep me. Nobody even come close to fire me. I guess just different kind of experience. I'm not trying to convince you, I'm just saying, there is better out there.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#140

Post by unclekev »

jugg1es wrote: post #118

My problem with the word 'burnout' is that it denotes some kind of final state. I'm sure I've had periods of burnout but it doesn't last more than a day or two. I had a third kid 4 months ago and my company is transitioning from a small to medium-sized company. I am the tech lead/architect on our company's flagship software and I am constantly struggling with the skill sets of my friendly but incompetent members of m…

> My problem with the word 'burnout' is that it denotes some kind of final state. I'm sure I've had periods of burnout but it doesn't last more than a day or two.

I hope it's not a final state.

I got burnt out hardcore a few years ago after giving 18 hour days, 7 days a week for 3 years without a break.

When I left, I took 6 months off to try and recharge, except by the end of the 6 months i developed a fear/anxiety/hate of anything technology related, and fell apart physically and mentally.

It's like the mental and physical consequences of working that schedule didn't catch up with me until I stopped.

So I took another 6 months, seeing a professional who prescribed a few things to help.

So after 1 year of not working, I'm back in technology. But I still hate it every day.

I've lost all passion for anything technology related.

I wish I had skills in another area other than technology so I could change careers, but I'd be starting at the bottom which isn't necessary a problem but I'm the primary breadwinner in the family so money becomes the problem.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at, I think for me right now burnout does indeed feel like a 'final state'. I hope one day I can get back to the point where it only lasts for a few days at a time.

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