I just don’t want to be busy anymore

Now each day is just a blur of anxiety. I used to love IT, school was a blast I loved programming, servers, networking, security, web design, troubleshooting, but help desk not so much at 52.

I used to work evenings and nights at my old job now 9pm seems like 3am.

By no means do I mean to criticize the author for writing this. I only want to encourage everyone else to take this lesson seriously. I've banged this drum before on HN but it can take quite a bit more banging: Take burnout seriously. Take the initial signs of burnout seriously. If you're vaguely nervous about the possibility that you're burning out, take it seriously.

Don't shy away from it. Take this to heart: If you're sort of starting to burn out, and you acknowledge it, there are steps you can take to prevent it from ever happening! There's every reason to acknowledge it to yourself. It is ignoring it that may cause the bad outcome.

I can speak only for myself in that when I have sensed burnout coming on, I take time off. Sometimes with little notice, because I notice I need it. I get my projects changed. I evaluate my life goals before it's a problem. And I've never really suffered a real burn out yet here at 42, even through some bad times.

While I've not had to do this myself, I also strongly encourage extreme self honesty. It's sad to study for some years and then be in a career for longer only to discover it's not the career for you, but it's less sad that staying there. Do you want to be in the brewery business? Do you want to become a carpenter? Be honest.

(Though I do also offer just a bit of warning that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence; do take that into account, too.)

I deliberately only work about 4 to 6 hours per day max, and delegate everything else to my team. I also take Wednesdays off entirely to spend as a 'date day' with my wife who also has doesn't have a work shift on Wednesdays, and I don't work on weekends any more.

My working hours are broken up - I may do 2 or 3 hours in the morning when I wake up, but then I go off an indulge in my other passions such as music production etc. Then I may do a couple more hours in the afternoon when the rest of my remote team are coming online on the other side of the world, then I will take a break to cook dinner etc. and check in quickly before going to bed to ensure all tasks are on track. Like the comment poster above I also take regular naps in the afternoon to recharge my batteries.

I also don't have more than 2 to 3 meetings per week, and I am VERY selective about who I meet with and for how long. I am totally focused on maximising every ounce of energy towards only things that will move my startup forward.

Conversely, some of those meetings are actually spent mentoring other startup founders - I find that it really motivates me to 'give back' to the community a little after decades of receiving help and advice.

An yes, I have been through actual burnout 4 times in my career. Each time gets worse, but I also now know to look for the signs - plus my family and colleagues also keep watch for early signs, which helps me mitigate the onset of bad habits and work patterns that may trigger it.

It took about 4-5 weeks into the leave to finally relax, for my mind was wired to expect frequently recurring deadlines, so I was always paranoid of missing (nonexistent) deadlines. I didn't realize how messed up I was until I took a break.

It was liberating to just sit in a rocking chair every night putting the baby to sleep and thinking of nothing else. Maximum happiness.

It's interesting to audit what you do v. your ACTUAL job definition, especially when it comes to blurred responsibilities.

Tell your friend this realistic boss saying:

> If you work hard, put in extra hours, and push to be the best, then "I" get a new Ferrari next year!