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I just don’t want to be busy anymore

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Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#11

Post by gregd »

mettamage wrote: post #8
gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

Typed on my phone. Six hours of work? Lie the other 2 and call it a day. Or, renegotiate a contract for 6 hours per day. Given how much productivity I presume you bring, I’d lie. I don’t feel bad about it since companies care too little (in general). If they care, then I would care. E.g. a 10x more productive engineer doesn’t get 10x the pay. I met one of these people, they lied. They worked 2 hours, shipped one hour…

Part of the problem is that I'm a Software Engineer as well as a Business Analyst and Project Manager. I'm also managing a dev team, so it's really difficult to only work 6 hours a day. Hell, I can't even do all my work in a 40 hour work week.

Yes, I realize this isn't a me issue and I'm looking for other work. The problem is that I'm encountering a lot of ageism in this field too.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#12

Post by codenesium »

tenaciousDaniel wrote: post #9
gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

I feel that way now but I'm only 37. I knew it was a bit soon so I went to a doctor, and turns out my testosterone is at 250 (whereas at my age it should be over 1,000). No idea if that's something you've already explored, but felt it couldn't hurt to share.

Same age. Same experience.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#13

Post by gregd »

tenaciousDaniel wrote: post #9
gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

I feel that way now but I'm only 37. I knew it was a bit soon so I went to a doctor, and turns out my testosterone is at 250 (whereas at my age it should be over 1,000). No idea if that's something you've already explored, but felt it couldn't hurt to share.

This is something I've entirely thought about and likely suffering from.

That being said, I am trying some other remedies before I take Androgel or Androderm and they seem to be slightly helping.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#14

Post by gregd »

RobRivera wrote: post #3
gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

Have you ever taken a sabbatical?

An unpaid sabbatical just isn't in the cards for me at the moment.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#15

Post by hammock »

tenaciousDaniel wrote: post #9
gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

I feel that way now but I'm only 37. I knew it was a bit soon so I went to a doctor, and turns out my testosterone is at 250 (whereas at my age it should be over 1,000). No idea if that's something you've already explored, but felt it couldn't hurt to share.

>whereas at my age it should be over 1,000

Where did you get that reference range for a 37 year old? I'm not sure that was even true 30 years ago.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#16

Post by mettamage »

gregd wrote: post #11
mettamage wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Typed on my phone. Six hours of work? Lie the other 2 and call it a day. Or, renegotiate a contract for 6 hours per day. Given how much productivity I presume you bring, I’d lie. I don’t feel bad about it since companies care too little (in general). If they care, then I would care. E.g. a 10x more productive engineer doesn’t get 10x the pay. I met one of these people, they lied. They worked 2 hours, shipped one hour…

Part of the problem is that I'm a Software Engineer as well as a Business Analyst and Project Manager. I'm also managing a dev team, so it's really difficult to only work 6 hours a day. Hell, I can't even do all my work in a 40 hour work week. Yes, I realize this isn't a me issue and I'm looking for other work. The problem is that I'm encountering a lot of ageism in this field too.

I simply don’t finish work if I am spent. If I do, then I am worse the next week. I have the luxury of only needing to take care of myself.

Ask to hire for help. The business case is: either you break down, and the company loses a valuable person, or they get extra hands and can resume business operations. And while you’re at it ask for a pay raise because you were likely underpaid.

Ageism sucks. See if you can look younger or see if you can work at a company of a linkedin connection.

I am just brainstorming, you know what might apply to you.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#17

Post by gregd »

paulcole wrote: post #4
gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

Just curious, but what’s your definition of “growth mindset”? I love being challenged, believe I can change to meet most challenges I face, and enjoy looking for opportunities to improve myself. This is how I’d understood the concept of “growth mindset” from Carole Dweck’s book Mindset. Maybe the difference for me is that none of these things are core components of my identity? It’s just a way of interacting with the…

My definition of growth mindset is the same as yours.

I don't identify with it so much as I think of it as my baseline. Does this mean my baseline has changed? Absolutely.

It's still irksome because I too enjoyed looking for opportunities to improve myself or the methods I use to get things done. Now, I just don't give a fuck.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#18

Post by gregd »

bumby wrote: post #6
gregd wrote: post #2

As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career for over 26 years, I'm spent. This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm basically fried (I start working around 7AM). I'm not sure what to do about…

I never really made the connection before listening to a recent podcast with an expert on serotonin and dopamine, but do you think this is a natural effect of declining dopamine? Online searching seems to indicate dopamine declines with age and is also responsible for taking risks and motivation for both short and long term goal attainment

This is highly likely and is worthy of much more research on my end.

Thank you for reminding me of this!

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#19

Post by runawaybottle »

Eddie Murphy’s joke about relationships boiling down to the other person asking ‘well what have you done for me lately’ is pretty much the gist of many careers. I’m pretty sure I shipped some impactful stuff this year, but lately, well - what have I done for the company lately?

This can work in two ways. The first is you can be a victim of this and feel betrayed. The second is, you just have to realize another chance will come along where the thing you did most recently will be recognized.

It’s like poker hands. Don’t think you suck because you got a bunch of bad hands in a row. Don’t bet on those hands, and don’t bluff. Just wait until you are ready, because those face cards and pocket aces are coming.

Take it easy (and take that nap).

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#20

Post by volfied »

MattGaiser wrote: post #5

One of the things which quickly overwhelms me is just all the little stuff. Couple big ticket items? No problem. Long list of 5-20 minute items, or even worse, conversations of indefinite length? Exhausting.

I work for a big company (F500), and one thing that always bothers me is the out of nowhere Slack messages that are three paragraphs long, by someone I have never met within the company. If I start helping them right away, they are happy to keep me online for the next hour while my flow is gone, god knows where.

I am trying to find the nicest way to say: "This should be an e-mail conversation, please send email.", but I wish I could somehow start an email draft that is saved and shows up in some to-do list somewhere.

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