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Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

hmsklt.app

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Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#71
post #65
post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is people want friends without all the work that goes with it. We have a very convenience driven "me first" culture. While it's healthy to always keep in mind your needs, aside from maybe you close family/friends, few will, you also have to consider other people and learn to reach agreeable compromises. Sometimes it means driving somewhere you don't want to and…

I've seen an incredible outpouring of selfless support for others during the pandemic, and quite a bit before that. Maybe the problem is the people you're surrounded by and pay attention to, not culture in general.

Verbal/written or actual support?

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#72

I commend the developers for acknowledging the problem that exists with modern social media and trying to do something about it. My personal opinion is that you don't fix this problem with another platform that promotes content sharing. Regardless of the content shared, it'll likely turn into a comparison game and result in the same unhappiness that more traditional social media platforms bring and it's now been prov…

You're basically describing Meetup. And I'm not going to lie, meet up is absolutely amazing for both making friends and dating. It's been phenomenally more effective for me versus dating apps. It's how I meet one of my previous partners ( more like we met because I mistook her for someone else, but life is random fun). That said, when I'm dating someone like now, I don't socialize nearly as much. It takes a very real…

You may be half-convinced but I'm fully convinced the never-ending notifications make us all a lot of bit crazy. Many of us have lost the ability to focus.

I think meetup is close to what I'm describing but not quite there. Meetup is very goal\work\hobby oriented which I think is great but I'm describing something a bit more informal geared towards keeping in touch with existing connections as opposed to meeting new individuals.

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#73
post #71
post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've seen an incredible outpouring of selfless support for others during the pandemic, and quite a bit before that. Maybe the problem is the people you're surrounded by and pay attention to, not culture in general.

Verbal/written or actual support?

Money, transportation, housing, referrals/interviews/jobs, a good time with safe people away from an unsafe but currently inescapable situation. Sometimes verbal or written, but that can be just what someone needs. I've personally received a few lifelines.

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#75
Go regularly to your local surf beach/kite spot/skate park/climbing wall/Games workshop/organic vegetable collective/Latin dance club / or whatever your interest is.

Show that you are interested. Talk to people. Ask questions. Give praise when you see cool stuff. Accept praise when it's given. Don't bring your job with you. Be respectful and interactive. Let connections build over time.

No app needed!

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#76
post #55

If you're trying to build a tool to help deepen connections, it shouldn't be around sharing things that you do. We've tried that model for the last 15 years and it's clearly failed. I think what people crave these days is human connection through interactions. I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is people want friends without all the work that goes with it.

>I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is people want friends without all the work that goes with it. We have a very convenience driven "me first" culture. While it's healthy to always keep in mind your needs, aside from maybe you close family/friends, few will, you also have to consider other people and learn to reach agreeable compromises. Sometimes it means driving somewhere you don't want to and…

It seems to me that we the strongest bonds are formed out of necessity.

We bond with people in difficult situations when we need protections and are able to protect.

I've noticed friends who are born in places like South Africa, or Russia are much intenser with friendships.

My theory is that they really have to trust eachother because they have no trust in the system.

Where I grew up, trust in system is strong and it seems people don't need to rely on eachother.

It's not so simple, and of course most people still bond deeply depending on personality and upbringing. But it's why I think most Western societies are so individual.

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#77

If you're trying to build a tool to help deepen connections, it shouldn't be around sharing things that you do. We've tried that model for the last 15 years and it's clearly failed. I think what people crave these days is human connection through interactions. I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is people want friends without all the work that goes with it.

I wonder if a shared struggle/experience is needed to forge strong bonds. Not just going out, eating/drinking/dancing over and over, but a series of ups and downs. Maybe individuals becoming less dependent on others due to a combination of earning power and internet facilitating ease of accessing information and communicating with literally anyone and not just those around you changed the parameters of life. Hence re…

I think "social" media helped to kill a lot of social interaction, by making it easy to go through the motions and keep up appearances more efficiently than actually living a rich social life.

I read somewhere that given a choice between what we know is good and what's convenient, people will choose convenience almost every time, leading to a modern world that feels how a pre-packaged peanut butter and jelly sandwich tastes. It's obviously a subjective statement but I've found it explains a lot about everything.

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#78
post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The name is short for "homeskillet," which is a colloquial term of endearment for a good friend. I met my cofounder on an airplane 7 years ago and developed our friendship while each living in distant cities (SF, Taipei, Berlin, London). I called him homeskillet once but he didn't understand the meaning since he's French, so it randomly became our placeholder project name as we bounced around ideas for cool things to…

Just calling it “homeskillet” would be better. (Although, I’ve never heard that term before, so it still wouldn’t be great me for at least.)

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=home%20skill...

Re: Hmsklt – App to help friends form deeper relationships

#79
post #76
post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is people want friends without all the work that goes with it. We have a very convenience driven "me first" culture. While it's healthy to always keep in mind your needs, aside from maybe you close family/friends, few will, you also have to consider other people and learn to reach agreeable compromises. Sometimes it means driving somewhere you don't want to and…

It seems to me that we the strongest bonds are formed out of necessity. We bond with people in difficult situations when we need protections and are able to protect. I've noticed friends who are born in places like South Africa, or Russia are much intenser with friendships. My theory is that they really have to trust eachother because they have no trust in the system. Where I grew up, trust in system is strong and it…

There are some studies which reveal possible connections between wealth, compassion and how generous people are. [1] and [2] for articles about studies like [3]. I see some shortcomings in some of the studies (looking at drivers of luxury cars is not informative about all types of wealthy people, just the ones who care about spending it this way which self-selects a certain kind of person), but I think that the general direction could be informative for more research. There are also studies about cognitive costs of empathy [4] which may relate to this.

[1]: https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/wealth/save/why-poor-pe...

[2]: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-wealth-reduce...

[3]: https://www.pnas.org/content/109/11/4086.short

[4]: https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xge-xge0000595.pd...

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