231–240 of 278 posts
That's excellent advice that many have learned the hard way... Honestly even as a non-manager it's a very bad idea. When I was a junior one of my colleagues was called to the manager's office. I assumed it would be for some mundane project scheduling or whatever, so I jokingly said "you're getting fired" as he was going there. And he was. This is one of these memories that come back to haunt you late at night when yo…
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I grew up in a region parents would randomly say something like the following to their kids on daily basis and I hated it: - You’re eating too much and we can’t afford you, we will giving you to human traffickers for free. - If you go out and play before finishing the homework you will be eaten by wolves. - If you don’t obey the cops are going to arrest and execute you. - Stay away from dogs or it will bite your pp o…
“If your grades don’t improve you are off to Military School.” Used to terrify me when I was really young because I believed everything they said. As I grew up and the threat never materialized I shrugged it off. Cultures that think this behavior is ok are the fucking worst. I would never ever do that if I had a child.
I found the tone of voice most significant in this kind of situation. When it was “smiley, jokey”, I would get it was a joke – but even mock seriousness or, worse, exasperated parent, was completely credible.
That's excellent advice that many have learned the hard way... Honestly even as a non-manager it's a very bad idea. When I was a junior one of my colleagues was called to the manager's office. I assumed it would be for some mundane project scheduling or whatever, so I jokingly said "you're getting fired" as he was going there. And he was. This is one of these memories that come back to haunt you late at night when yo…
I once had a friend uncharacteristically not respond to a couple texts confirming plans we'd made. I eventually sent "Are you alive?" and got a call back from the hiking companion who had watched her fall to her death two days earlier. That one gives me nightmares.
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"Always punch up, never punch down"
What about, "do no wrong"?
No one told me this prior to becoming a manager, and I did make this mistake once and immediately regretted it. It seems like obvious advice, but the circumstances where this sort of thing could happen are described very well in the article. I revert to humour in awkward situations, like a lot of people, but I quickly realised that there are some things that you can’t joke about when in this position. Thankfully I do…
- Avoid all urges to make comparisons between your direct reports to your children no matter how relevant it may seem in your head
- Avoid referring to your direct reports as cats that need to be herded at the start of every meeting
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GP getting upvoted because managers are in the minority on HN P getting downvoted because members of historically powerful groups and genders are not in the minority on HN
In my case, it's because a managerial position is an ephemeral role you voluntarily step into. Accepting a managerial role means accepting certain rights and constraints, including things like the topic of the article. Being told you have similar constraints simply because you were born with a certain configuration is both arguable, completely lacking any nuance or insight, and mostly original-sin tinged dogma.
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I've seen a couple of mass layoffs. How much you see that coming can be a function of how close to the decision-making you are and how familiar you are with the process. As I've advanced, I've progressively seen it coming farther out. But the first one was totally out of the blue to me. Individual firings seem a bit more predictable.
Do you have any tips/signs to look out for :-)
As a more general advice - person in position of power should not joke about causing harm. Whether is is manager joking about firing employee, stronger person joking about beating up weaker one or parent joking about throwing child out of house when they misbehave. This kind of humor works only when it is coming from weaker position and even then only in certain situations.
"Always punch up, never punch down"
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What about, "do no wrong"?
(Good) Jokes that punch up are funny, not immoral. It's really hard to make a good joke that punches down; seeing it pulled off makes me really respect (and kinda dislike) a comedian (and I've never seen a non-professional manage it).