Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020) • Hacker News Board

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#101

Post by reccanti » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 7:33 PM UTC

leetcrew wrote: post #87

pessimizer wrote: post #69

This would be a good thing if it were true. Politics is not a product where your choice of whether to consume the red, blue, or green thing is an irrelevant expression of your personality or style. It's always life or death, and that fact is disguised when it doesn't mean your life or death. This survey is also corrupted by self-reporting. People like to pretend that they're more tolerant than they are (especially wh…

I disagree. I mean sure, it's a good thing (if true) that race is less significant than politics in choosing a partner, but why should we have to pick one? unless you're part of a very select group of activists, politicians, or wealthy donors, your impact on world issues is pretty much negligible. the political opinions of the average person are much less significant than they might think. but what we can do is have…

BRB changing my gender back so I can date a transphobe. Glad I changed my political position!

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#102

Post by ecshafer » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 7:47 PM UTC

jasonladuke0311 wrote: post #96

reccanti wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People on this site like to mindlessly parrot the “we’ve become too partisan and divided these days” narrative, but what are they actually proposing? Oh wait… https://twitter.com/rottenindenmark/status/14326439023229255...

Not picking on you, but...for how little sense this makes to me, it's practically an inside joke. Between not having any idea who the participants are, and the horrid experience of reading Twitter (I presume the intended reading order is quoted tweet > tweet > text in picture?), I have absolutely no idea what the fuck is going on. Nor can I be bothered to care for something so irrelevant. Twitter "discourse" is like…

The quoted tweet is... kind of stupid.

I assume the op must just be a fan of this particularly person and thinks its related. It basically is an inside joke.

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#103

Post by leetcrew » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 7:50 PM UTC

reccanti wrote: post #101

leetcrew wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I disagree. I mean sure, it's a good thing (if true) that race is less significant than politics in choosing a partner, but why should we have to pick one? unless you're part of a very select group of activists, politicians, or wealthy donors, your impact on world issues is pretty much negligible. the political opinions of the average person are much less significant than they might think. but what we can do is have…

BRB changing my gender back so I can date a transphobe. Glad I changed my political position!

okay, that's a good counterexample. I wouldn't expect you to be able to have a good relationship with someone who doesn't agree you should exist and/or your gender identity is real.

but take gun control for example, which seems to be pretty high on the list. does it really matter whether a potential partner is for/against gun control? one person's opinion is not going to change the law of the land. I'd think it would only matter whether you could come to an agreement on whether there would be guns in the home you share.

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#104

Post by ecshafer » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 7:51 PM UTC

jti107 wrote: post #62

it doesn't just affect the two people dating, it makes things awkward for everyone else. my brother is dating a hardcore Trump supporter and its just super awkward during the holidays. i am cordial and respectful but it sucks feeling like you are walking on eggshells.

Why would it be awkward? I am often in very mixed political company, and never share the politics of people I am around. It isn't awkward at all. Either, don't talk about politics. Or just have fun debates, assuming they are able to hold those debates. If you can't talk with people that disagree with you, that's an issue.

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#105

Post by klyrs » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 7:55 PM UTC

leetcrew wrote: post #103

reccanti wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

BRB changing my gender back so I can date a transphobe. Glad I changed my political position!

okay, that's a good counterexample. I wouldn't expect you to be able to have a good relationship with someone who doesn't agree you should exist and/or your gender identity is real. but take gun control for example, which seems to be pretty high on the list. does it really matter whether a potential partner is for/against gun control? one person's opinion is not going to change the law of the land. I'd think it would…

> I'd think it would only matter whether you could come to an agreement on whether there would be guns in the home you share.

That does sound like a dealbreaker to me. A gun collector isn't going to marry somebody who won't tolerate guns in the house, right?

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#106

Post by klyrs » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 8:00 PM UTC

logicchains wrote: post #89

TheOtherHobbes wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This would be more convincing if Catholics - actually religious people in general - were known for exemplary morals. That's very much not the case. Religion is demonstrably useless when it comes to practical morality, because it's not in any sense a coherent and stable moral system. It's really about crafting individual and tribal justifications for arbitrary behaviours supported by various power hierarchies. Some ma…

> This would be more convincing if Catholics - actually religious people in general - were known for exemplary morals. I'm not sure how you'd propose to measure that, but in terms of charitable giving at least religious people have been found to give significantly more: https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/oct/30/religious-p...

Okay now look at the statistics on rape of children and how the church protects those rapists. Does that square with "think of the children?" A dude with "free candy" painted on his panel van ticks the "charitable giving" box, right?

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#107

Post by reccanti » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 8:01 PM UTC

leetcrew wrote: post #103

reccanti wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

BRB changing my gender back so I can date a transphobe. Glad I changed my political position!

okay, that's a good counterexample. I wouldn't expect you to be able to have a good relationship with someone who doesn't agree you should exist and/or your gender identity is real. but take gun control for example, which seems to be pretty high on the list. does it really matter whether a potential partner is for/against gun control? one person's opinion is not going to change the law of the land. I'd think it would…

I think the problem is that we lump all these things together as "politics." This way, it's easy to bring up the specter of "we're too partisan these days," but if you look at the individual issues, it's a lot more rational.

* If you're a woman who's pro-choice, would you want to date someone who might try and stop you from getting an abortion? * If you have LGBT friends or family, would you want to date someone who might be a jerk to them? * If you, a family member, or a friend is an immigrant, would you want to date someone who might try to deport them?

In the past, I think a lot of people didn't interact with people who weren't like them, so it was easier to put aside these differences. Being exposed to more diversity makes ignoring these things less of a possiblity.

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#108

Post by leetcrew » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 8:12 PM UTC

klyrs wrote: post #105

leetcrew wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

okay, that's a good counterexample. I wouldn't expect you to be able to have a good relationship with someone who doesn't agree you should exist and/or your gender identity is real. but take gun control for example, which seems to be pretty high on the list. does it really matter whether a potential partner is for/against gun control? one person's opinion is not going to change the law of the land. I'd think it would…

> I'd think it would only matter whether you could come to an agreement on whether there would be guns in the home you share. That does sound like a dealbreaker to me. A gun collector isn't going to marry somebody who won't tolerate guns in the house, right?

you can be against gun control without collecting guns. there are also gun collectors who are somewhat in favor of gun control (eg, "fudds").

my point is that many (maybe most?) political positions have very little to do with how people actually live their day-to-day and treat others in their life.

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#109

Post by staysafeanon » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 8:14 PM UTC

mothsonasloth wrote: post #3

My 2 pennies: Living in a secular society where religion plays a reduced part on the individual, compared with 50 years ago. People now fill the gaps with other banners to fly and differentiate themselves with.

"Where Christianity has left a moral and religious vacuum in the wake of its collapse, we are now seeing the construction of a new social and moral orthodoxy to fill this void — in short, a new religion.

It's not hard to see why: religious orthodoxy brings with it the highly intoxicating and addictive frameworks of unambiguously delineated good and evil, right and wrong, us versus them, and the equally addictive sense of moral righteousness that follows from it. In short, many people have a psychological dependence on religion; they need such a thing."[0]

[0] The Rise of Newchurch (https://www.devever.net/~hl/newchurch)

Re: Partisan attachment: How politics is changing dating and relationships (2020)

#110

Post by WarOnPrivacy » Tue, Aug 31, 2021, 9:59 PM UTC

I've known a number of folks who were mistreated by people who bore strong resemblance to Trump's personality - Trump was an ongoing trigger for them.

Dating someone who embraced Trump's personality - that would seem to be a terrible experience for those folks.