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The Anatomy of Assholes (2020)

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Re: The Anatomy of Assholes (2020)

#21

Post by peakaboo »

kmlevitt wrote: post #13
hedberg10 wrote: post #10

See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assholes:_A_Theory Today on the train I saw some bullies. Kids wouldn't let the quieter kid sit with them. What I could see immediately in their eyes is the knowledge that they can just do that. There are no repercussions. There is nothing anybody can do. This works. The bully just lashing out because of his own issues is a myth. This is just how humans work and certain societies ar…

> What I could see immediately in their eyes is the knowledge that they can just do that. There are no repercussions. There is nothing anybody can do. This works. The bully just lashing out because of his own issues is a myth. These two things are not mutually exclusive though. If you want to take your frustrations out on somebody else, you do it on people you can take them out on, not people you can’t. And yeah, mos…

I think that age was horrible, when you had no power to choose your own tribe of people. You got grouped together with people you didn't choose yourself, and what's worse, those people were kids who sometimes has no empathy whatsoever.

It really was the worst time in my life personally and I often felt like I just wanted to end my life.

Luckily I came through, and life as an adult is a lot easier. We still get grouped together with strangers at work, but there are unspoken rules how to behave as an adult that most adults actually follow. Also most adults have some degree of not wanting others to feel bad.

There are exceptions however. Some people are just mean.

Re: The Anatomy of Assholes (2020)

#22

Post by hoseja »

jmauritz wrote: post #4

I disagree on the usage of agency here and the entire post really. Being an introvert SWE (70% of HN?) a lot solo consultants would be placed between quiet asshole and nice, but not often extroverted. Are these people low in agency? Is the traditional "nerd" low on agency? hardly. agency per the article: "self-protection, self-assertion, separation, and isolation"

Nobody but maybe the CIA and select warlords and old money heirs has any meaningful personal agency.

Re: The Anatomy of Assholes (2020)

#23

Post by ZeroGravitas »

hedberg10 wrote: post #10

See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assholes:_A_Theory Today on the train I saw some bullies. Kids wouldn't let the quieter kid sit with them. What I could see immediately in their eyes is the knowledge that they can just do that. There are no repercussions. There is nothing anybody can do. This works. The bully just lashing out because of his own issues is a myth. This is just how humans work and certain societies ar…

I've read that in some countries bullying and workplace harassment are considered group dynamics, rather than the product of individual bullies which makes sense to me.

It seems to fit your example and I think it provides some useful frames for thinking about this and how to improve things.

Re: The Anatomy of Assholes (2020)

#25

Post by eurasiantiger »

ZeroGravitas wrote: post #23
hedberg10 wrote: post #10

See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assholes:_A_Theory Today on the train I saw some bullies. Kids wouldn't let the quieter kid sit with them. What I could see immediately in their eyes is the knowledge that they can just do that. There are no repercussions. There is nothing anybody can do. This works. The bully just lashing out because of his own issues is a myth. This is just how humans work and certain societies ar…

I've read that in some countries bullying and workplace harassment are considered group dynamics, rather than the product of individual bullies which makes sense to me. It seems to fit your example and I think it provides some useful frames for thinking about this and how to improve things.

In my experience with organisations, it is the people with the most agency (i.e. leaders and their cliques) who set the standard for those group dynamics.

If you get bullied by your boss, you can count on others joining in.

Re: The Anatomy of Assholes (2020)

#26

Post by tonyedgecombe »

Funzelunke wrote: post #14

Does anyone think assholes could be defined by using the "D-Factor"? (dark trait factor) .. and why not getting used to the idea, whenever your IQ is tested your D-factor gets tested as well.....

Companies might well end up selecting for that attribute.

Re: The Anatomy of Assholes (2020)

#29

Post by eurasiantiger »

jmauritz wrote: post #4

I disagree on the usage of agency here and the entire post really. Being an introvert SWE (70% of HN?) a lot solo consultants would be placed between quiet asshole and nice, but not often extroverted. Are these people low in agency? Is the traditional "nerd" low on agency? hardly. agency per the article: "self-protection, self-assertion, separation, and isolation"

Separation and isolation not in the sense that you are alone in your apartment, but in the sense that your thoughts and decisions are yours and not linked to or overridden by someone else’s.

The software engineer is notoriously low on agency.

Re: The Anatomy of Assholes (2020)

#30

Post by eurasiantiger »

hoseja wrote: post #22
jmauritz wrote: post #4

I disagree on the usage of agency here and the entire post really. Being an introvert SWE (70% of HN?) a lot solo consultants would be placed between quiet asshole and nice, but not often extroverted. Are these people low in agency? Is the traditional "nerd" low on agency? hardly. agency per the article: "self-protection, self-assertion, separation, and isolation"

Nobody but maybe the CIA and select warlords and old money heirs has any meaningful personal agency.

It is what it is. To paraphrase George Carlin: in any store, we can choose between dozens of different flavors of the same food item, but for some reason, we cannot affect any meaningful change through any of the choices given to us.
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