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Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

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Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#201

Post by zxlk21e »

buddhistdude wrote: post #194
zxlk21e wrote: post #176

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. Could you possibly unpack this for me a little bit? It strikes me as absolutely true for me, too, or at least sounds like it could be true, but I'm pulling at a thread I can't quite grasp.

Why do you need to understand this sentence? So that you can use that new knowledge to alter the set of concepts that you have of life, ideally improving them, so that you are more able to control your life, to steer it in a better direction? Because you want to be alright? The point is to let go

I'm intrigued because at first it appears to be a paradoxical statement, but with a potentially logical answer.

In addition to that though, I think I (and others?) make sense of the world through narrative and there is value to other people's narratives, though that may be in conflict with the context of your comment.

Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#202

Post by donatj »

ema wrote: post #128

7 years ago I had just aborted an internship, my foray into being an employed adult, because I found myself unable to deal with disagreements. Contrary to my naive hope that the confidence boost from being a Professional Software Developer(tm) would solve all my emotional problems I now knew that my limitations would follow me around anywhere I would go. But I had no idea how to change and was too stuck in my own anx…

> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it.

I genuinely think this is the key to happiness and success in general. Roll with the waves rather than trying to fight them. You can guide your life while still smelling the roses along the way.

Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#203

Post by gonehome »

beltsazar wrote: post #98
shaneos wrote: post #20

Aphantasia: How it feels to be blind in your mind By Blake Ross https://m.facebook.com/nt/screen/?params=%7B%22note_id%22%3A... Before reading this post I had no idea I had aphantasia and thought everyone else was the same as me, unable to see anything when they closed their eyes. This helped me understand myself and my relationships so much better than ever before. Thanks Blake!

What's even crazier is that not everyone has an internal monologue: https://www.insidemymind.me/blog/brain-stuff/today-i-learned... If aphantasia is "internally blind", this one is "internally mute and deaf". I wonder if anyone in the world has both conditions. That would be interesting to understand how they think.

This one I’ve always been extremely skeptical of. I suspect it’s more likely they’re lacking introspection to such an extent that they’re not even aware of it.

It just seems highly unlikely that a non brain damaged human sharing the same evolutionary history and ability to use language would not have one, yet be able to speak and converse normally. Their arguments in support of it always seemed weak to me.

It’s in those class of things where people like to be the person that has it (and it’s hard to test or verify)

Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#205

Post by meowface »

elliekelly wrote: post #167
beltsazar wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What's even crazier is that not everyone has an internal monologue: https://www.insidemymind.me/blog/brain-stuff/today-i-learned... If aphantasia is "internally blind", this one is "internally mute and deaf". I wonder if anyone in the world has both conditions. That would be interesting to understand how they think.

> I wonder if anyone in the world has both conditions. That would be interesting to understand how they think. I think maybe I do? I’ve know about the aphantasia and it wasn’t surprising to me because I always felt like I was missing something when people used phrases like “picture $thing in your mind” but now you’re telling me everyone is talking to themselves in their heads, too? It’s actually so hard for me to wra…

I think you and some others probably are misunderstanding. It's the idea that sometimes when you think, you "think with words". It's the presence or employment of words or language anywhere in your thinking.

Not "hearing" the words or necessarily "talking to yourself" or hearing someone talk to you. I think many people do mentally talk to themselves, but I think that's a sufficient condition to have an internal monologue rather than a necessary condition.

People who don't have it would 100% of the time only ever think about things in terms of visual imagery, symbols, or something else abstract. I believe it's quite rare.

Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#206

Post by buddhistdude »

zxlk21e wrote: post #201
buddhistdude wrote: post #194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you need to understand this sentence? So that you can use that new knowledge to alter the set of concepts that you have of life, ideally improving them, so that you are more able to control your life, to steer it in a better direction? Because you want to be alright? The point is to let go

I'm intrigued because at first it appears to be a paradoxical statement, but with a potentially logical answer. In addition to that though, I think I (and others?) make sense of the world through narrative and there is value to other people's narratives, though that may be in conflict with the context of your comment.

The idea of controlling ones life presupposes that there is “one”, that is separate from life, so that the “one” can control life. It presupposes some kind of separation in the field of experience.

Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#207

Post by mekoka »

zxlk21e wrote: post #201
buddhistdude wrote: post #194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you need to understand this sentence? So that you can use that new knowledge to alter the set of concepts that you have of life, ideally improving them, so that you are more able to control your life, to steer it in a better direction? Because you want to be alright? The point is to let go

I'm intrigued because at first it appears to be a paradoxical statement, but with a potentially logical answer. In addition to that though, I think I (and others?) make sense of the world through narrative and there is value to other people's narratives, though that may be in conflict with the context of your comment.

It's a Zen game he's playing with you :). The point is to let go, but letting go can also become a pursuit, in which case you're not really letting go. You're right about the paradox, you're possibility wrong about the existence of a logical answer.

Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#208

Post by saisundar »

https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html

This might be the second or third (and possibly redundant too) Tim urban blog post here.

This uses a visual representation to drive home the point that the time you have with your loved ones, especially parents is very very limited, and choices that you make to increase/decrease face time with them, have a pretty pronounced impact, for life.

This certainly woke me up to my relationship with my father and elder relatives in general.

Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#209

Post by gonehome »

jlengrand wrote: post #64

I don't know if they changed my life, but they did literally made a big impact in how I value myself for sure. That led to 3x salary raise over time and how I interact with my day job. Both from patio11 * How to negotiate salary : https://www.kalzumeus.com/2012/01/23/salary-negotiation/ * Don't call yourself a programmer : https://www.kalzumeus.com/2011/10/28/dont-call-yourself-a-pr...

That salary one is great, I’ve used similar strategies to help people negotiate pretty large bumps when interviewing. It’s funny to see the sophistication of the recruiter on the other side (while they’re pretending not to be).

One social thing I learned though is that some people are weird about it - not the recruiters but the friends you’re trying to help negotiate. They’re afraid to do it and instead rationalize how it won’t work and then get angry if you try to persuade them that it’s possible.

Re: Ask HN: What's the most life-changing blog post you've ever read?

#210

Post by mistermann »

donatj wrote: post #202
ema wrote: post #128

7 years ago I had just aborted an internship, my foray into being an employed adult, because I found myself unable to deal with disagreements. Contrary to my naive hope that the confidence boost from being a Professional Software Developer(tm) would solve all my emotional problems I now knew that my limitations would follow me around anywhere I would go. But I had no idea how to change and was too stuck in my own anx…

> It dawned on me that my attempt at completely controlling my life had, in fact, caused me to lose control over it. I genuinely think this is the key to happiness and success in general. Roll with the waves rather than trying to fight them. You can guide your life while still smelling the roses along the way.

It would be funny if this was true at both an individual level and global level.
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