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America's “Friendscape” Crisis

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Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#21

Post by Ericson2314 »

jbay808 wrote: post #17
ethbr0 wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

One thing I've been confused about, from the time I've visited friends and (briefly) lived in big box condo / apartment buildings... why aren't there more community spaces? And no, I don't mean "the pool" or "the weight room." I mean actual lounge areas. Social areas. Hell, even Marriott's Residence Inns do a better job than your average building.

Agreed. I'd love to see more apartment buildings have bakeries, cafes, or other public spaces on the ground floor. Then you can get to know not only your neighbours in your own apartment building, but in shared spaces for the surrounding areas too.

I read in Dublin they built these sorts of appartments but then they got banned.

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#22

Post by Ericson2314 »

kiba wrote: post #15
ethbr0 wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would counter that modern Americ a sucks for supporting communities. Our policies are mostly geared around creating never-ending strip malls, endless suburban neighborhoods, and omnipresent traffic issues. Because these things most efficiently create tax revenue, happy "what my parents had" families, and income segregated areas. Similar to college, fixing America starts with deciding that everyone doesn't need a si…

Our policies are mostly geared around creating never-ending strip malls, endless suburban neighborhoods, and omnipresent traffic issues. Because these things most efficiently create tax revenue, happy "what my parents had" families, and income segregated areas. I doubt that they are most efficient at generating tax revenue, especially when considering density and infrastructure maintenance.

Yes that is true. They are worse on all counts in the medium-long term but we do it anyways.

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#23

Post by Ericson2314 »

ethbr0 wrote: post #10
epicureanideal wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The problem isn’t that people are wanting too much. It’s that getting on the property ladder at all, even a small condo in a metro where there are jobs, is becoming far, far more difficult than for previous generations. And of course, if people need to work longer and harder to achieve what would've been considered fairly modest goals by (recent) previous generations in terms of housing, then they have less time and…

My personal read is that a huge amount of that in the last decade or so has been a consequence of basement central bank rates. When vast sums of institutional money are freed and chasing yield, eventually some of it leaks into residential property. And when a market that was precariously balanced with only retail buyers (due to density opposition and building economics) now has equal or more investors pile in? Well,…

If we lower them we have no homes, if we raise them we have no jobs.

The fact of the matter is conventional central banking is a failure, as is widespread private homeownership in metropolitan areas.

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#26

Post by imbnwa »

whatshisface wrote: post #12
imbnwa wrote: post #8

Personally I realized during the Pandemic that a lot of the relationships I'd fostered over the course of my adult life were lead by a desperate desire for belonging rather than on sober considerations such as: do these people respect me at all?; do these people care about my inner life at all?; do these people share a desire for growth beyond that of our local maximums?; do these people have any ambition at all? - t…

> do these people respect me at all?; do these people care about my inner life at all?; do these people share a desire for growth beyond that of our local maximums?; do these people have any ambition at all? That's a nice list of traits for a friend to have, but since a person will literally go insane if they don't have any human contact, I would advise finding better friends first before dumping the bad ones.

All of these relationships except for two have all dried up and withered long before, it is only with quarantine could I understand why.

Also the list was me being too literary in describing the majority of these relationships, they answered the questions posed in the negative through and through, read: unhealthy relationships.

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#27

Post by imbnwa »

cableshaft wrote: post #16
imbnwa wrote: post #8

Personally I realized during the Pandemic that a lot of the relationships I'd fostered over the course of my adult life were lead by a desperate desire for belonging rather than on sober considerations such as: do these people respect me at all?; do these people care about my inner life at all?; do these people share a desire for growth beyond that of our local maximums?; do these people have any ambition at all? - t…

I think it's okay to have friends you don't have a super deep relationship with as long as you enjoy being around them. Like I have quite a few people I'll get together to play board games with, and I enjoy their company for that, but we don't do a whole lot outside of that (sometimes a dinner or a movie or go to a special event, but not too often).

> Like I have quite a few people I'll get together to play board games with, and I enjoy their company for that, but we don't do a whole lot outside of that

I didn't spell it out clearly enough and got literary, but most of these relationships were condescending, disrespectful, and somewhat abusive, never mind lacking empathy. What your describing is something I actually should accede to in my local area with COVID restrictions somewhat breaking up and now being vaccinated.

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#28

Post by drivingmenuts »

ethbr0 wrote: post #14
UnpossibleJim wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As unpopular as this might be to say, and as environmentally unfriendly as it is, I've known my neighbors in every house I lived in; even when my friends and I rented a house in college, and after I was done with college, and I've rented houses with friends. They weren't always thrilled to see renters move in, but when we mowed the grass or were grilling, etc. you're forced to look over the fence and say "hey". Apart…

One thing I've been confused about, from the time I've visited friends and (briefly) lived in big box condo / apartment buildings... why aren't there more community spaces? And no, I don't mean "the pool" or "the weight room." I mean actual lounge areas. Social areas. Hell, even Marriott's Residence Inns do a better job than your average building.

That’s something I find odd, but I grew up as an only child. I actively avoid speaking to my neighbors for the most part and always have. Their business is none of mine.

That’s not to say I don’t have a few close friends, but certainly not my next-door neighbors.

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#29

Post by pantalaimon »

ethbr0 wrote: post #14
UnpossibleJim wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As unpopular as this might be to say, and as environmentally unfriendly as it is, I've known my neighbors in every house I lived in; even when my friends and I rented a house in college, and after I was done with college, and I've rented houses with friends. They weren't always thrilled to see renters move in, but when we mowed the grass or were grilling, etc. you're forced to look over the fence and say "hey". Apart…

One thing I've been confused about, from the time I've visited friends and (briefly) lived in big box condo / apartment buildings... why aren't there more community spaces? And no, I don't mean "the pool" or "the weight room." I mean actual lounge areas. Social areas. Hell, even Marriott's Residence Inns do a better job than your average building.

You mean like a bar?

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#30

Post by nine_zeros »

Upper middle class in America is unique. They have EVERYTHING that humanity can provide. They have access and ability to do anything.

Yet, they are all stuck in the never ending rat race. The excessive focus on the rat race leads to less energy and time left for friendships. The little time that is left is left only for superficial acquaintances. You know, the kind where people talk to each other like a sitcom.

Every time I go to Asian countries, I am stunned by how much time people (even those with high powered careers) give to family and friends. You know, things like casual hanging out in friends apartments on weekends, street food time in the evenings, experiencing a new restaurant or exploring a new village on a short road trip together.

Americans just don't want to engage in this kind of "unproductive" lifestyle. It's all about work, career, money. The entire cottage industry of self-help is all about spending every living moment improving yourself to more material wealth.

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