Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's a little bit different when it's outside the family, though. Inside the family, a homophobic parent might feel emasculated, or like a failure, if their kid turns out to be gay. But when meeting an adult gay couple at a social function, or working with a gay colleague, the same person will probably at least remain cordial, if not explicitly supportive.
don't search for "angry public" on youtube, it may change your perception of the world. 99% of my problems in the world are related to the random public, not my family.
The vital art of talking to strangers
211–220 of 290 posts
Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#212Earlier quoted context omitted.
We used to call this going to church. When literally everyone of all political stripes attended the same churches, going to a church potluck was basically being paired randomly. However large political factions have made church membership out to be undesirable. We are reaping the rewards. I realized yesterday reading about cornel west, that even though I disagree with his politics, I see from his Christianity we have…
Totally. As a devout Anti-theist I really wish I could join some kind of secular group that was identical to a church but without the religion. Go every Sunday with my family, socialize with the folks, have potlucks and events, help people out when they need it, etc. We need to bring back this sense of community.
You need to create a fiction that is believed in more than any individual differences but it doesn't work if we know it is fiction. The group will not be able to put aside differences for very long without it.
There is very clever aspect to what the church has done that is very hard to replicate.
I really think team sports are the closest you can get. This guy putting the ball over the goal line is the most important thing in the world and you can gel 90,000 drunk people to watch it without it becoming complete chaos. It is the same process at work.
Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#213Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm an ex-Catholic and am likely one of the left leaning people you're talking about. I left the church because frankly, the actions of the church and its policies are so far from Jesus' teachings that I could no longer reconcile a belief in Christ with mother church. > We chock it up to things like abortion and sexual ethics but I don't buy it. Homophobia != sexual ethics. After my goodbye confession with a good pri…
I appreciate your candor. You seem to have pretty set views, but I think they're caricatures. In particular, while pro-life work that is most visible is someone praying at a planned parenthood (and of course, the ones that harass are typically not even Catholic, since it's not just catholics in this 'movement'), the bulk of pro-life work is exceptionally boring things like collecting bottles, diapers, baby clothes, p…
Inaccurate - the Greeks, for example, had institutionalized pederasty disguised as building bonds between generations. The Romans had... problematic beliefs about heterosexual sex as well.
> The lack of teaching on that speaks volumes
It speaks volumes about how incomplete the historical record is, but very little else. Did the person who wrote this passage ever even meet Christ? I'm under the impression that Chris-as-singular-historical-figure is accepted based on lighter evidence than we require for other historical figures. And that the Bible was mostly written hundreds of years after Jesus supposedly existed. That's not much of a basis for strict interpretation based on what isn't present, nearly 2000 years later.
Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#214Earlier quoted context omitted.
I doubt I'd participate in a secular community center, so I'd be interested in seeing this as an outside observer. But honestly, I doubt it'd work. Without any common values, it'll be hard to get a diverse set of people. In my experience, when secular people start this, it ends up being a club for other secular people 'like them'. In America the starkest examples of this are when these community clubs founded by whit…
You have gone to very different churches than I grew up in. The secular groups I was in at public school, college, and then as an adult were all MUCH more accepting and diverse than the churches I was in as a kid, and the private school I went to for the first 9 years of my education. "If you stay Catholic you're going to hell" was a memorable thing one of my teachers told one of my classmates... They really didn't l…
Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#215Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#216I have a hypothesis that almost all of the US's current cultural problems would be solved if once a month we all cooked and shared a meal with another randomly chosen family.
We used to call this going to church. When literally everyone of all political stripes attended the same churches, going to a church potluck was basically being paired randomly. However large political factions have made church membership out to be undesirable. We are reaping the rewards. I realized yesterday reading about cornel west, that even though I disagree with his politics, I see from his Christianity we have…
I personally stopped going to church because of the politics coming from the pulpit. The last sermon I heard was the preacher saying Barack Obama was “demonic” because his weak foreign policy made it harder to spread Christianity throughout the world, therefore forestalling the end times. Of course it wasn’t just that one sermon: the homophobia, the sexism, the anti-science attitudes had all been bothering me for years before I finally quit.
Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#217Earlier quoted context omitted.
People can be very nice and polite while saying horrible things. I've heard plenty along the lines of "I'll be your friend, but I'm going to miss you after we die since you're going to burn in hell." Said with the kindest, gentlest tone you've ever heard.
I don't think most things are intrinsically objectively horrible or not. The speaker's context and intentions and the framework you use to interpret end up saying much more than the words themselves.
Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#218Earlier quoted context omitted.
>the secular regular get-together groups for people without any unifying interests or socioeconomic status Unfortunately, I don't think what you are describing ever existed. Every "get-together-group" I can think of has some kind of common interest, even if its something as simple as drinking coffee or reading books. I think your attachment to the church has a lot more to do with your emotions than thinking rationall…
> Io make the argument "The economy was shut down last year and there is a massive issue in our society with depression and loneliness as a result, but it's what those liberals deserve for leaving the church!" is asinine. What? I never made that argument. You're putting words in my mouth and calling me asinine. Please actually respond to what I wrote. > Are the bible, history of the church, the nature of reality, and…
Regardless of the details of your argument, or whether my paraphrase of your original comment was accurate, it is an infeasible solution to suggest that everyone needs to go to church in order to address the loneliness, social anxiety, and tribalism. Your comments all have a condescending, passive aggressive tone and you are trying all kinds of dirty tactics to manipulate the debate to your favor. I doubt you have any real interest in more people going to church. Based on your comments, your goal is to argue and put blame on others. I'm not sure if anyone in this thread has really learned from this discussion (flamewar) and I regret engaging in it.
Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#219Earlier quoted context omitted.
The Catholic Church is probably the single most ethnically diverse organization on the face of the earth. https://www.pewforum.org/2013/02/13/the-global-catholic-popu...
Right, but the context here is in people attending their local church. Your point is like saying that America is so diverse - it is, but how much do the different ethnicities actually interact?
Re: The vital art of talking to strangers
#220Earlier quoted context omitted.
Catholic churches are the most integrated denomination. And Catholics are the group most likely to intermarry between ethnicities. Speaking of my own family, my brother and I are both married to women of different ethnicities (and differing ethnicities at that). Sources: [1] https://www.jbhe.com/2018/07/americas-churches-are-becoming-... [2] http://blogs.thearda.com/trend/featured/the-ties-that-may-no... > The only e…
The takeaway from those articles seems to be that even the most integrated churches are still trailing average neighborhood integration numbers (which are broadly considered problematic). There has been progress, but there is still a ways to go: > Despite progress in church integration, congregations remain far more segregated than the society in general. Dr. Dougherty, an associate professor of sociology at Baylor U…
Later as I grew up I realized just how unusual that sort of integration was among any congregation, not just Christian or Islamic. When I read Vivek Bald’s book Bengali Harlem: The Lost Histories of South Asian America, I realized that actually this was the norm in the 20s-60s for South Asian immigrants of all backgrounds.
This has led to some befuddlement amongst others. A black City Councilperson in New Orleans egged a crowd on to call my cousin from Islamabad names based on his origin for trying to set up a tiny house village for homeless people in a residential neighborhood in Eastern New Orleans. I roared back at him that it pained me to see someone that looked like my grandmother beating up on my cousin, mentioned that my congregation met in a formerly AME church and kept the pews for years and shame on him for assuming we are all carpetbaggers. He turned to me and said “You are presumed to be what you look like.” I’ve never been happier to see someone lose an election.