71–80 of 98 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
In software, you're never doing the same thing twice.
That's not true, web developers are doing their functions.php over and over and over.
Obnoxious but serious question: are you living in your parents' house? If not, move along, nothing to see here. (read the other comments about getting professional help, therapy, etc). If you are, consider if you're just being complacent because you can be. Make a goal for yourself to move out within 6 months. Figure out what you need to do to live on your own, without free room and board to fall back on. And then st…
"Great Hikes"?
Maybe you're a person who works to live? If so, embrace it. Those who enjoy their work are often the opposite: they live to work. You could try tech or any number of other jobs (EMT always sounded fun to me.) But your goal should be to find something that you can tolerate, clock out, and lets you live your life. Stop putting "fulfilling work" and "career" on a pedestal and have fun.
kudos for this.
> Those who enjoy their work are often the opposite: they live to work.
Huh. Squinting at this from exactly the right angle, that can kinda read the very idea of living to work is paradoxically catastrophic, at once fulfilling and shallow and existentially meaningless. As though work-life balance were interpreted backwards, or something.
I've obviously been looking at "do what you love" positively for a while now, but now I really wonder... maybe working to live, and enjoying what you do just a little bit, but not completely, is the ideal balance.
Hmm. Now I realize that not being entirely consumed by work and finding identity in that loss of self also has the benefit of making emotional and mental job flexibility easier - and in tech, that's a necessity.
For Boomers it might have been something like prevent WWIII, normalize race relations and the whole computing/communications revolution.
Maybe for your generation it could be
managing the East/West rebalancing to the benefit of all,
reigniting the idea of universal human rights and their meaningful enforcement,
reducing air pollution in Asia and saving millions of lives a year,
universal basic income that actually works,
eliminating global slavery,
eliminating global malnutrition,
redefining what aging means in the 21st C and beyond,
figuring out how to develop AI for the benefit of all
*Big* global ideas that are 50+ year projects.
Then find your niche in chipping away, either actively or passively, at one or more of the three. Until any problem is solved, you’ll always have a mission and a meaning and a group of like-minded folks to hang with. That counts for a whole lot in life.
If the problem isn’t some media fantasy and is actually worth your life’s dedication, the money (at least enough money) will come.
I've got the opposite experience from a lot of people on this thread: I've hated every dev job I've ever had for the last 10 years or so (I'm also 30) and have recently started working retail (which is fine, I can't pay the bills with it, but I don't hate my life every morning at least) while I try to figure out how I can stop working for terrible tech companies that just build garbage as quickly as possible no matte…
I've worked as a software developer for smaller non-software companies (manufacturing more recently). I make half of what FAANG pays (still well compensated though) and I used to feel bad about it. But recently I've started to think that maybe not unravelling the fabric of society is worth something? My customers (machine operators) are right outside my door. I can cut the time it takes to process a production order,…
I was in a similar place to you 6 years ago, it never really clicked for me in a regular job.
I started my own small business in the vein of Max Maher/Rohan Gilkes/Sweaty Startup (moving service/house cleaning etc. ). I knew nothing about the industry I chose and worked on average about 25 hours a week. The competition is weak as the brightest/best are all (generally) in coding/tech/law/finance.
Plenty of options out there to start something low risk and cheap.
It just clicked for me, I've really enjoyed the process and I genuinely did struggle at every job I ever held.
It can be tough but the rewards are great if you are suited to running a business.
Have you tried creating a business? People forget this is the most opportunity-filled, complex economy in the history of humanity. The idea of "spend your career at corporations" is only about 100 years old as a result of the industrial rev. Forget it about it for a second. My grandfather launched a company in his youth and it was considered normal, he wasn't considered an "entrepreneur", he was just doing what many…
I’ve often considered entrepreneurship but always felt this wasn’t right either. Making any amount of money (let alone enough to replace your day job) is a multi year adventure of very long hours. And even then it has a very high chance of failing. So it’s a huge investment for several years with very little chance of any payoff. You’re almost always better off working for someone else money wise and across the board (unless you’re both skilled and lucky, which means well above average, which by definition excludes at least half of people)
What I’m doing now is working at an easy but mind numbingly boring job where the software quality is abysmal. It’s a tough change because I was used to startups with decent standards (unit testing, code reviews…) but it freed me to let go. I don’t care at all about the product. I don’t care if it succeeds or not (it never should but because our customers are captive vis regulations they have to keep buying from us)
I negotiated to be paid well enough (mostly based on my previous experience at better companies and the knowledge I got from it) which helps some. And I put in my 40h (I always refuse overtime), take the paycheck, save 70% of it. Working from home has been awesome because I can limit work to a few hours a day before I go mad and still not lose the rest of the time I’d normally be stuck at the office without much to do (poor planning on my betters’ part). This lets me see the end of the tunnel ins few years where I’ll be able to quit working if I want to (and I’m pretty sure I’ll want to), 30–40 years earlier than most.
All this to say that if you can write software but don’t feel like starting your own company then this could be a valid option too. And you don’t even have to play the corporate game because you’re only in it for 10 years so don’t really care about promotions etc. Where I work managers are paid 20% more (before tax!) than individual contributors but they get 10x the headaches and longer hours. No thanks.
At the age of 30 I moved to another country without speaking the language and without any degree or certificate. At this point I had worked in more than 15 different jobs, sales, promotion, tourism, waiter, Quality assistent in a laboratory, logistics, office worker etc and had quit my studies as a Civil Engineer. 6 modules before my degree.
In the new country I worked for the first two years in warehouses and factories without getting any qualification. Learned as much as I could the language and after those two years I started learning in a 6 months distance learning program how to make websites. I saw for the first time in my life what is html, css, javascript etc. Before that the only thing I would do with my computer was watch movies and play games.
After 6 months I finished this course and started at another school learning more about developing. Java, SQL etc.
It took me another two years to finish and at the age of 35 I landed my first job as Backend developer.
Right now I am 37 and a junior backend developer. At the same time I grew interest about blockchain technology and now I am being part of the IOHK (Cardano) pioneer program for Plutus platform and want to learn how to make smart contracts.
I feel lost too.
I like everything and get bored by everything. On one hand I am looking for stability, on the other hand I am really bored by doing the same thing all the time.
This summer, during my vacations and while doing the IOHK program, I will decide if I want to change again and move into blockchain jobs.
If I take this step it means that at the age of 38 I will be a junior developer in smart contracts.
Will this be my final step? Will this become my passion?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Relax and do what interests you and makes you happy until it doesn't.
Then move on.
I see others recommending books, so I’ll throw one out there too: So Good They Can’t Ignore You, by Cal Newport. He has a great perspective on how “finding your passion” is probably not what will make you happy (or successful). Another tip: take stock of your mental health, and if you can afford it talk to a professional. It’s possible you have ADHD, depression, or something else, which could be holding you back. Or…
I suspected he might have had ADHD, and I certainly do have ADHD, and ADHD is hereditary!
If I didn't accidentally fall into software I probably would have been the same. I agree with your idea that they should talk to a professional (ideally psychiatrist in my opinion) and check for any conditions.