Ask HN: 30 years old with no career • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#21

Post by ibdf » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:05 AM UTC

I’m almost 40 and I’ve never held a job for more than 4 years. They were good jobs too, but after a while I get tired of it or bored and I need to find something else. I know tons of people that “found their passion” and knew exactly what they wanted to do when they were in school. I never had a passion for anything… I need to constantly change what I am doing. The only difference is that I stuck to the same industry, that way I can build experience and so the next job is a bit better.

If the job is not fun, try finding a hobby that is!

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#22

Post by ghufran_syed » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:05 AM UTC

I took a long time figuring out what I wanted to do, and I found the following books useful: “What color is your parachute?” by richard bolles “What should I do with my life?” by Po Bronson (who also had trouble deciding what he wanted to do…) “The seven habits of highly effective people” by Steven Covey - the title made me cringe but a friend recommended it to me and I found it very useful YMMV

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#23

Post by adnmcq999 » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:09 AM UTC

Yeah I’m 32 and have had no job for more than 2 years. There are a lot of reasons for my situation. I’ve changed some aspects of myself I hope, but I don’t think I can really get a foot in the door to something I want at this point unless I catch a lucky break or make some luck of my own.

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#24

Post by AlexTWithBeard » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:11 AM UTC

> It's like I work for a bit and I'll get to a point where I just want to quit and be done with it. Or there are conditions I just don't want to put up with anymore so I just walk.

At 23 my first child was born.

Walking away from the job is still possible, but takes so much preparation that it's often easier just to but the bullet and keep going.

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#25

Post by WalterBright » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:14 AM UTC

ibdf wrote: post #21

I’m almost 40 and I’ve never held a job for more than 4 years. They were good jobs too, but after a while I get tired of it or bored and I need to find something else. I know tons of people that “found their passion” and knew exactly what they wanted to do when they were in school. I never had a passion for anything… I need to constantly change what I am doing. The only difference is that I stuck to the same industry…

In software, you're never doing the same thing twice.

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#26

Post by SamWhited » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:15 AM UTC

I've got the opposite experience from a lot of people on this thread: I've hated every dev job I've ever had for the last 10 years or so (I'm also 30) and have recently started working retail (which is fine, I can't pay the bills with it, but I don't hate my life every morning at least) while I try to figure out how I can stop working for terrible tech companies that just build garbage as quickly as possible no matter how much they screw over the users doing it. Unfortunately, most of the tech I've worked on that I think could actually help people also doesn't pay the bills.

I haven't come out the other side, so I can't help you there, but you're not alone. Lots of people change careers after a few years. It's going to be hard, but I'm sure we'll figure it out.

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#27

Post by adnmcq999 » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:15 AM UTC

zrail wrote: post #18

One thing to try is talking to a therapist about all this. There are a number of conditions that can lead someone to a life like yours, most of which can be managed with some coping skills.

Therapist might help. Ppl have told me to do that, and I guess I’ve technically been once or twice a long time ago before I could make the decision myself

BUT… I don’t think there is necessarily anything wrong with OP for feeing this. There’s a reason why Office Space is popular. I sometimes think there’s something wrong with the people I know who like their bullshit jobs or take their work seriously. Either deluded or really good at acting.

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#28

Post by larrywright » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:15 AM UTC

I see others recommending books, so I’ll throw one out there too: So Good They Can’t Ignore You, by Cal Newport. He has a great perspective on how “finding your passion” is probably not what will make you happy (or successful).

Another tip: take stock of your mental health, and if you can afford it talk to a professional. It’s possible you have ADHD, depression, or something else, which could be holding you back. Or maybe you have none of those, but they can help you identify why you feel the way you do.

Best of luck, and be sure to come back and update us on how things are going.

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#29

Post by fny » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:17 AM UTC

Maybe you're a person who works to live? If so, embrace it.

Those who enjoy their work are often the opposite: they live to work.

You could try tech or any number of other jobs (EMT always sounded fun to me.) But your goal should be to find something that you can tolerate, clock out, and lets you live your life.

Stop putting "fulfilling work" and "career" on a pedestal and have fun.

Re: Ask HN: 30 years old with no career

#30

Post by holycrapguys » Tue, Jul 06, 2021, 2:17 AM UTC

zrail wrote: post #18

One thing to try is talking to a therapist about all this. There are a number of conditions that can lead someone to a life like yours, most of which can be managed with some coping skills.

I'm open to it. Do you do it? Can you give me an example or recommendation? Where I get hung up on therapy is that there's 100 different types. And it's an expensive endeavor to have so much leeway.